


Bound

by xanderlike



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Consistent Tense Who Needs It?, F/M, It Didn't Go The Way I thought, JealousBen, JealousRey, Kylo Ren Redemption, My first Reylo Fiction, Romance, This Won't Go The Way You Think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-07-05 21:56:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 54,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15872502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xanderlike/pseuds/xanderlike
Summary: "You will come to me. You can fight it every step of the way. Hold onto the stars until they're ripped apart, but sooner or later you'll be where you belong: at my side."





	1. Bound

"You will come to me."

No arrogance in spite of the words. Just dead calm certainty.

"You saw how that worked out the last time."

Defiance … and desperation.

"Remember how we fought together. Back to back. Side to side. We moved like two halves of a whole. I could feel your heartbeat. It was beautiful. It was _right._ It was like making love..."

"You know so much about _that ..._ "

"As much as you do I expect. We've both been alone all our lives. We were meant to find each other. We've been waiting all our lives to find each other. Can't you see we're _bound?_ "

"I'll kill you."

A soft laugh. "No you won't. You've had chances. Each time you turned aside. You can't kill me any more than I can kill you. We're part of each other."

"I will never join you! Never!"

"It's cute how you think you have a choice. Stop fighting it. Stop fighting _us._ "

"There is no us. There will _never_ be an us. I offered you my hand but you refused. You chose your side. I chose mine. I will stop you."

"You won't. You can't. I wanted you to come to me of your own free will. I wanted you to choose _us_. You will come to me. You can fight it every step of the way. Drag your feet. Hold onto the stars until they're ripped apart, but sooner or later, you will be where you belong- at my side." A moment's pause, and then that aching honesty that cuts deeper than any light saber ever could. "Can't you see that I _want_ you? Isn't that what you've dreamed of all your life- to have someone want you?"

"I- please, Rey. Have _mercy_. You're tearing me apart."

"I'm done with mercy, Ben. I'm done with fighting against what I want. Every time you close your eyes, I'll be there. You could turn your back on your father. You could walk away from Luke. Maybe you can even resist Leia. But me? You'll never be free of me. You'll come to me, Ben Solo." And then that pang of loneliness, of need … "But please hurry. I miss you."

"Rey ..." The anguish … the _need_ … and the resistance. The rebellion. He was who he was, and surrender had never been easy for him. "I have to go."

And then she feels the link, the bond, dampen … it doesn't break. It can never be broken. She does not think he would really break it if he could. She knows him now. She knows the need- she knows that she's important to him. More important to anything- anyone- else.

He _belongs_ to her. He belongs _with_ her.

And deep in her soul, Rey knows that it's only a matter of time.

"You will come to me, Ben Solo. You will come ..."


	2. Shower Surrender

He tries to fight, but it's a losing battle.

 

He lets Hux assume de facto control of the First Order. Hux makes the day to day decisions, almost- but not quite- mockingly informing him of what's going on. (He simply has to raise his hand and any sarcastic remark dies on Hux's lips. It's the only satisfaction he has these days.) He knows that it's dangerous to let Hux grasp such power; he's enough of his mother's son to recognize the danger of letting someone else take the power that should be his, but he doesn't have the energy to stop Hux.

 

He doesn't even has the strength for one of his legendary temper tantrums.

 

Everything else has faded into the background... the only thing that matters now is _Rey._

 

He tries to fight. He hunts through every scrap of memory- every hated lesson from Luke, the offhand remarks of Snoke- trying to find a way to shield himself. But no matter how often he puts up a barrier, Rey finds a way through it.

 

She's like a master slicer, able to break any code. She's as implacable as the desert storm … wearing away his resistance like sand against stone …

 

He hears her voice saying his name- the name he had tried to put behind him- the name he had always hated until he heard it fall from her lips- when there's no one there. He feels a phantom hand stroke his cheek. He feels a ghost's breath against his neck and yearns towards it even as he tries to run from it.

 

This is heaven. This is hell. He no longer knows the difference.

 

And then it stops.

 

For an hour. Then two. After three he collapses into a dreamless sleep.

 

When he wakes up, he's terrified.

 

Has something happened to her? Has some acacident befallen whatever ship she's on (it's the _Millenium Falcon_ because of course it is)? Is she _gone_ or has she simply lost hope?

 

Both thoughts are like daggers to his heart.

 

He rips off the clothes he hasn't changed since his disasterous encounter with Luke and steps into a shower. Turning the water up as hot as he can bear … as though he can burn _Rey_ out of his heart, out of his system. He closes his eyes...

 

"If you had come with me, we could be doing this together."

 

He opens his eyes and Rey's in the shower with him.

 

She's clothed, but she's standing close to him. Closer than anyone's chosen to stand to him in years. He can practically _feel_ her warmth even though he knows she's hundreds- thousands- of light years away from him.

 

This is heaven. This is hell.

  
He snorts at her words. "This is beneath you, Rey."

 

"What?" She's surprised. Her eyes are running up and down his body with a boldness he's never seen directed at him. His father—Poe- that was the sort of look they got from women. Not Ben Solo. Not Kylo Ren.

 

"Implying you'd ever-" he can't even say the words directly "- _be_ with me."

 

She seems to become even more vivid … even more real … is her hair starting to get wet now? "Who did this to you, Ben? Who taught you that no one would ever love you? That no one would ever _want_ you?"

 

Phantom hands on his chest … starting to move down...

 

He's embarrassed by his reaction. He's ashamed of his reaction. "Don't. Please."

 

And she stops. "All right. I won't touch you that way. Yet." She gives him a half-smile, and he's grateful that she had respected his choice.

 

"I'm not my father. I'm not Poe Dameron. I know who I am. What I am. I'm a monster. I'm a monster."

 

"You've told yourself that so long that I think you really believe that." She closes her eyes, somehow seeming to feel the water against her face. "I chose you, Ben Solo. When everyone else turned their back on you- when no one else believed in you- I _chose_ you."

 

She opens her eyes again, and they're filled with tears. "Why wasn't I enough for you? Why couldn't you choose me instead of this-" she gestures at the ship. "A throne built on blood and murder and terror?"

 

"The First Order will bring peace to the galaxy. Sometimes it … costs." He's felt the deaths- felt them in what's left of his soul- the rationale that it was for a better future is the only thing that lets him sleep at night.

 

"The Republic lasted twenty five thousand years, and it wasn't able to bring peace. Palpatine's Empire lasted barely twenty. Even if you win- even if you bring every world in the galaxy to heel- how long do you think your so-called peace will last, _Supreme Leader_?" He hates hearing that term from her lips. He wants her to call him Ben again. He _needs_ her to call him Ben. "The moment you die- however long you live- it will all fall to pieces."

 

"It doesn't have to. I could leave it to my heirs." And he reaches out and her face is solid beneath his fingers. " _Our_ heirs."

 

She looks away. "Are you so desperate for my power that you would offer a scavenger girl from Jakku, a nobody, a seat on your throne?"

 

"I don't want your power! I don't want you to serve me! I never have! I want you beside me, Rey. I _need_ you beside me!" And he grabs her head between his hands and kisses her.

 

She returns the kiss, her tongue demanding entry into his mouth.

 

He knows that this is impossible. That he's never heard of any two Force wielders ever being able to project to each other so strongly- but he knows that it's real. He can feel Rey. He can taste Rey.

 

And it's then he decides:

 

_This is heaven._

 

And when the kiss is over, she smiles into his face. "I need you, Ben, but I can't join you. I can be Ben Solo's wife. I can't be Kylo Ren's Empress. I can't join you in darkness. It would destroy me. I wouldn't be Rey anymore. I know it's unfair- I know that you're the one who has to do the impossible- but I need you to come back from the Dark Side."

 

"I don't know if I'm strong enough. I'm not Vader. He was strong enough to become Anakin Skywalker again. I don't know if I can be Ben Solo. I've done too many terrible things -"

 

"Come back, Ben. Be stronger than Vader. Be the one who comes back from the Dark Side- and lives. Don't come back for the light or the resistance. Don't even come back for your mother. Come back for _me._ Come back for _us."_

 

"I want to-"

 

She's fading now. She's exhausted herself. She must have been saving her strength for this moment. Saving her strength for _him._ But now … now she's going.

 

"Rey!" He shouts. He wants to promise her he'll find the way back, but he knows he can't make that vow yet. Instead, he gives her what he can. "Rey! I love you!"

 

She leaves him with a smile.

 

And when she's gone, he looks at himself in the mirror. It's the same scarred face he had when he went into the shower- but it's different too. It's not just Kylo Ren looking out of the mirror, it's Ben Solo too.

 

And maybe- just maybe- out of the corner of his eye he sees _her_ too...

 

And he smiles.


	3. Mine

Ben and their bond is a secret she keeps to herself.

 

She's always had so little that even the precarious situation the Rebels find themselves in makes her feel almost obscenely wealthy by comparison, but this … this bond, this secret, is something that she hordes like a flask of water in a Jakku drought. It's _hers_ , and hers alone. She won't share it with anyone … not even Leia.

 

It belongs to her … and so does _Ben._

 

It's almost frightening how possessive of him she feels. She knows that Kylo Ren has done terrible things- monstrous things- but somehow _Ben_ has become separated in her mind from the monster he turned into. Kylo Ren belongs to the First Order, but _Ben_ is _hers_.

 

She just has to bring him back to where he belongs- with her.

 

She knows that it would be the kind thing to be gentle … to try to persuade him to come to the light. But somehow kindness seems beyond her now when it comes to this.

 

Her need for Ben Solo is raw and naked. It makes her ache. He was supposed to choose her. How could he not choose her?

 

It angers her too, and the anger gives her strength.

 

It's surprisingly easy to reach through the Force … to find the connection between them that burns brightly sometimes and is oil dark and shadowy at others. It's like Ben; dangerous. But she doesn't care about the danger any longer.

 

It's like Ben himself. She knows that he's his own worst enemy … prone to angry outbursts that breed failure more than success. And yet for all that, he remains dangerous in a way that belies his occasional foolishness.

 

And that danger, that darkness, is almost as seductive as the flashes of light she sees in him. He's as unpredictable as a desert storm … and she truly feels that he doesn't even know himself what he will do in a given moment.

 

She might be able to pull Ben Solo out of the darkness; she might lose her grip and fall into it… but she can't sever the bond between them, and she no longer even wants to try.

 

She wants _him._

 

It's a pure primal thing that goes beneath her skin. It's no longer a question of choice. She can't forget fighting alongside him … she can't forget what it felt like to _trust_ him.

 

And she wants that again.

 

She can't give it up. She won't.

 

Ben Solo belongs to her.

 

And she's growing impatient with how long it's taking him to recognize that.

 

It's so easy.

 

When she has a moment to herself- and those are not as often as she'd like and the fact that there are people _everywhere_ makes it hard to focus sometimes- she reaches into the Force. Searching for Ben. She hardly has to try at all; in spite of his efforts to shield himself, to protect himself, she finds him and then finds a way through the barriers he tries to build between them.

 

It's almost a sensual experience. A game they are playing. An intimate private dance.

 

He builds his barriers but he always leaves an opening for her to exploit. She doesn't think he knows that he's doing it. Part of him wants to flee from her- another part is trying to let her in.

 

And she's ruthless in her determination to get to him … to get to her Ben.

 

Phantom caresses, ghost words … they keep her going, but they increase her hunger for him rather than diminish it. It's not enough. It will never be enough. She needs more. She wants more.

 

So she stops.

 

For hours, she stops. She lets her strength grow along with her desire, gathering herself as though she would _jump_ the light years between them, and when she _hurls_ herself across the void she finds …

 

Ben. Naked. In a shower.

 

She's seen naked men (and women too) for that matter before. She can't recall the first time; people always sought a way to escape the drab reality of Jakku. Drugs, if they were available. Alcohol if they could afford it. And when they didn't have anything else, they used each other.

 

Rey had never been hungry enough, desperate enough, to sell herself … or to buy anyone else, but she had seen what was being sold more often than she could count, and earlier than she should have.

 

But Ben … somehow the first time she saw Ben shirtless kept echoing through her brain when she tried to sleep. It wasn't just the exposed skin; it was the vulnerability. It drew her like a moth to a flame.

 

Now he's even more naked … and his eyes are closed as the water flows over his body.

 

"If you had come with me we could be doing this together."

 

Can he hear the _need_ in her voice? The longing and the pain that he had caused her when he had refused her call to the light?

 

He opens his eyes and stares at her, and she savors both the surprise in his eyes and the flickers of joy at seeing her again. He snorts. "This is beneath you, Rey."

 

"What?" she's surprised. She runs her eyes up and down his body, knowing she shouldn't, but unable to stop herself. Was he that angry that she had invaded his privacy?

 

"Implying you'd ever _be_ with me."

 

Her eyes widen in surprise, and she feels the connection grow stronger. She can feel the water hitting her face now … or maybe its tears as she understands what he means … what Snoke or Luke or even Force forbid, his _parents_ had taught him. "Who did this to you, Ben? Who taught you that no one would ever love you? That no one would ever" and she's almost choking on her desire now " _want_ you?"

 

Can't he _see_ what he does to her?

 

She starts to run her hand down his not-quite there flesh … she knows where her hand is going … she can show him …

 

"Don't. Please."

 

She stops because she knows what it's like to not be in control of what someone else is doing to her. (A lesson _Kylo_ had taught her.) "All right. I won't touch you that way." She half-smiles at him to hide the sting of rejection. "Yet."

 

"I'm not my father. I'm not Poe Dameron. I know who I am. I know what I am. I'm a monster. I'm a monster."

 

And monsters don't get human contact. Monsters don't deserve love.

 

It angers her as much as it pains her. Tears fill her eyes and she doesn't care that he can see them. "You've told yourself that so long that I think you really believe that." She closes her eyes, and the water is soaking her, making her feel cold and lonely as though she could feel the chill of the space between them. "I chose you, Ben Solo. When everyone else turned their back on you- when no one else believed in you- I _chose_ you."

 

She wants to kiss him. She wants to slap him. She wants to comfort him as much as she wants to hurt him for the way he's hurt her. "Why wasn't I enough for you? Why couldn't you choose me instead of this" this ship the First Order, everything but her "a throne built on blood and murder and terror?"

 

"The First Order will bring peace to the galaxy. Sometimes it … costs." She sees the guilt in his eyes as he tries to convince her- convince _himself_ \- that he made the right choice.

 

"The Republic lasted twenty five thousand years and it wasn't able to bring peace. Palpatine's Empire lasted barely twenty. Even if you win- even if you bring every world in the galaxy to heel- how long do you think your so-called peace will last, _Supreme Leader?_ " It hurts to call him that. It hurts to think of him on a dark and bloody throne … _alone._ "The moment you die- however long you live- it will fall fall to pieces."

 

"It doesn't have to. I could leave it to my heirs." There's something shy, gentle, and afraid about him now. " _Our_ heirs."

 

She blinks and looks away. She's hurt that he thinks so little of her. That a mere _throne_ could buy her. "Are you so desperate for my power that you would offer a scavenger girl from Jakku, a nobody, a seat on your throne?"

 

Does he think _that's_ what she wants?

 

And suddenly his eyes are on fire. "I don't want your power! I don't want you to serve me! I never have! I want you beside me, Rey! I _need_ you beside me!" And he's grabbing her, pulling her face in for a kiss.

 

She's falling into him. She's drowning in him. The cold is gone. The water is warm. He's warm. And she's on fire. On fire for him. She wraps her arms around him, forcing his mouth to open, to give entry to her tongue. To claim that part of him that she's sure no one else has ever had.

 

_Mine, Ben! You're mine! The Dark can't have you! I won't let it take you from me!_

 

And when the kiss is _finally_ over, she tells him. "I need you, Ben, but I can't join you. I can be Ben Solo's wife." Just saying the word makes her whole body vibrate with longing. "I can't be Kylo Ren's Empress. I can't join you in darkness. It would destroy me." She smiles sadly. "I wouldn't be Rey anymore. I know it's unfair- I know you're the one who has to do the impossible- but I need you to come back from the Dark Side."

 

_I need you to come to me because I can't go to you, Ben._

 

"I don't know if I'm strong enough. I'm not Vader. He was strong enough to become Anakin Skywalker again. I don't know if I can be Ben Solo." _I don't know if I deserve to be Ben Solo._ "I've done too many terrible things ..."

 

"Come back, Ben. Be stronger than Vader. Be the one who comes back from the Dark Side- and lives. Don't come back for the light or the resistance. Don't even come back for your mother." She looks into his eyes imploringly. "Come back for _me._ Come back for _us._ "

 

"I want to-"

 

She can feel herself fading. She's at the ends of her strength. She can feel him starting to fade away … distance reasserting itself …

 

"Rey!" He shouts suddenly, fiercely. "Rey! I love you!"

 

She smiles at him. She's not certain if he hears her response as he fades from sight, but she says it anyway:

 

"I know."


	4. Shadows Receding ...

Rey woke something up in him. Something he hadn't known he was missing until it came back to life with the touch of her hand. Something that tears through the lies that Kylo Ren told himself and leaves Ben Solo (or at least the part of him that is Ben Solo because he's honest enough to know that he's not wholly Ben yet) reeling.

 

His conscience.

 

He's killed so many people in so many ways. People who had once known him and trusted (not liked because Ben Solo had never been well liked) him. He had broken his mother's heart. He had tried to kill his uncle.

 

And he had killed his father.

 

The immensity of his crimes threatens to drive him back into the shadow.

 

_Han had not cursed him as he died. He had reached out to his son, and he was still reaching out as he fell …_

 

His mother will hate him. His mother has to hate him. Luke had declared him beyond redemption. He had apologized for failing him, but he had never once offered him a glimmer of hope that he could redeem himself.

 

Did Luke realize that he _wanted_ to be told that Luke was there to save his soul as he had once saved Darth Vader? Did he, Kylo ( _Ben?_ ) realize that he had been _hoping_ for redemption?

 

No one believed in him. Not Luke. Not his mother- not really. Not even Snoke …

 

Han had believed … and he had _killed_ him. Killed him even as his father promised to do anything to help him …

 

Now Rey believed in him. Rey wanted to help him … How could he be sure that it wouldn't end the same way- with his light saber burning a hole in Rey's heart …

 

The thought makes him physically ill. He falls to his knees, retching …

 

And of course that's when Rey shows up.

 

"Oh, dear. Talk about spoiling the mood ..."

 

"Rey ..." He looks up at her and then looks away. His hands are trembling. "Rey ..."

 

"Ben." She kneels down with him and takes his hands. "Tell me what's wrong. Are you hurt? Did someone hurt you?" There's a blaze of anger in her that's totally endearing. "Was it Hux? Who hurt you, Ben?"

 

"Rey ..." He smiles at her in spite of his fear. "No one hurt me. Except myself." He glances around at his quarters. "At least this time I didn't destroy any computer consoles."

 

"I do hope we can find a better way for you to deal with your temper," she says with disarming frankness. "That's an expensive habit."

 

He almost- _almost_ \- laughs at that. And then he says the words that hurt like hell because are the truest thing he's ever said. "Rey … you know I'm no good for you. I'm no good for anyone."

 

"Don't say that! Don't you ever say that!"

 

"I'm a mass murderer. I've killed my father. All too often I display the emotional maturity of a toddler. I'm a monster. The best thing I could do for you- the best thing I could do for the galaxy is take my sword and fall on it-"

 

She glares at him. "You have a big nose."

 

"What-?"

 

"You have a big nose. Your ears can probably pick up radio signals they're so huge. You're so pale you glow in the dark. You totally overdo wearing black. And I'm reasonably sure that you snore."

 

"I don't snore!"

 

She smiles and kisses his nose. "See? There's one good thing about you."

 

"Rey-"

 

"Ben, I know. I know what you've done." There's pain in her eyes. "You're the one who keeps saying 'let the past die.'"

 

"I'm unforgivable-"

 

"That's not your call to make. You can hate yourself if you want. You don't get to tell me that I have to hate you. You don't get to tell me that I can't forgive you for what you've done. I know you can come back, Ben. I don't want you to come back just to die for your sins- I want you to come back to _live_ \- and live with me because I'm selfish like that."

 

He strokes her hair, marveling again at how they can touch each other through the Force. "You're the most unselfish person I've ever met. You're amazing."

 

She blushes. "Wait until you share a bed with me." She blinks as she realizes what she just said. "I mean … I'll hoard the blankets. My feet get very cold."

 

"Cold feet. I'll plan on including extra socks when we run away together." He says it with a straight face. He's proud of that.

 

"Run away? You mean we'll be eloping? What if I want a big wedding?" She says it with a totally serious face.

 

"I think you'll have to plan on another bridegroom for that. I can't imagine any of your friends celebrating you marrying me." _Not even my mother, probably …_

 

"If they want to remain my friends, they'll get used to the idea." Rey sighs and lays her head on his shoulder. "Oh, Ben. I'm so afraid for you. I want you to run away _now_. We can arrange a rendezvous..."

 

"If I leave, Hux will assume command of the First Order." He shrugs then. "And to be honest, he'd probably be a more effective commander than I'd be even if I were _trying_ to harm the resistance. I'm a good pilot, but no one will ever accuse me of being a great general." _And what about the rank and file soldiers of the First Order? Don't I owe them something- a chance for the freedom that I want for myself?_

 

"He'll try to kill you. He hates you."

 

"He's not alone in that. Other than you, who doesn't hate me?"

 

"Your mother. She says you're gone to her, but I don't think she really believes that."

 

"She has every right to hate me."

 

"The self-loathing is strong with this one." Rey kisses him again. "Lighter colors. As soon as I can steal you away, I'm getting you something in brighter colors. I think black makes you brood."

 

"Brooding is one of my strengths. That and destroying computer consoles."

 

"You're not a bad kisser either." She pouts. "Not that you've been indulging me tonight. I've only got a few more minutes before I go on duty, and there has been a severe lack of kissing on this visit."

 

"Let's work on that then," he says, and he takes her into his arms.

 

And for a brief time- a very brief time- he forgets about all the reasons they shouldn't be together and concentrates on the fact that they _are_ together.

 

And for now, that's enough.


	5. Medical Emergencies

Hux doesn't like him, and to be honest the feeling is mutual. That's why it's so surprising that the General comes to him in private. "Supreme Commander, I ask a favor of you."

 

"A favor?" Before Rey, he might have sneered at Hux for any request. Now … now he finds himself more curious than anything else. "What sort of favor?"

 

"Captain Phasma survived the destruction of the _Supremacy_."

 

He's not totally surprised by that. Phasma is a survivor. "I … see."

 

"However, she will require extensive treatment if she is to survive her wounds." Hux looks like he wants to be anywhere but here. "The level of treatment she will need requires the authorization of the Supreme Leader."

 

Snoke had not been overly generous with medical care. He liked to decide who lived and who died. "I see. Do you wish her to live or to die?"

 

"I … want her to live, Supreme Commander." The admission seems to physically pain Hux if the look on his face is any indication. "She's … a good commander. The Storm Troopers are loyal to her. It is more … efficient if we simply preserve her rather than establish a new commander."

 

 _As if that's all she means to you, Hux. Well, well. I should have been paying closer attention to the two of you._ "Very well, General." He writes something on a pad and hands it to Hux. "This will see to it that Phasma gets all the care you desire, General."

 

"Thank you, Supreme Commander." Hux bows stiffly and leaves.

 

"Well, that was different." He stretches as he stands up from the throne. Bureaucracy was more torturous than a Wookie bowcaster bolt.

 

And then he feels it.

 

A cold hand of ice on his heart.

 

"Mother," he whispers.

 

And he no sooner says the word than Rey appears before him. "Ben! Oh, Ben! It's Leia!" Rey's face is wet with tears. "She's dying."

 

"I know," he whispers. "I can feel it."

 

"You have to save her, Ben! You have to!"

 

"I don't know how-" The thought that his mother may die before he can see her one final time … before he can find his way back from the Dark (if he can) … torments him. "I'm not a Jedi Master. I don't know how to heal her."

 

"We can't take her to a doctor. Any place with medical facilities that can do any good are in the hands of the First Order. Can't you order them to let us through?"

 

"No." It shames him to admit it. "By the time my orders reached them and were decrypted, it'd be too late. She needs help now. Unless you could convince the Resistance to surrender, they'll be destroyed the moment they show up."

 

"Leia would never allow us to surrender even if we wanted to."

 

"All right." He shut his eyes. "There's a way. There has to be away." And then it comes to him. It's dangerous … but there's no other option. "Mustafar."

 

"Mustafar?"

 

"Darth Vader built a base there. A castle. He had medical equipment there to treat his … injuries. The base is completely automated now, and I have the access codes. I can give you the coordinates and the access codes. No one else in the First Order knows about it."

 

Rey wipes away her tears. "So … you're saying that your creepy obsession with your grandfather is FINALLY going to pay off?"She smiles at him.

 

He's surprised that the old rage doesn't flare up, but there's not even an ember.

 

"I hope so." He lays his hand on her cheek as he shares the information with her. "Take her there, Rey. You're her only hope."

 

Rey kisses him. " _We're_ her only hope, Ben." She looks away. "Will you come to her? Just in case?" Her voice goes lower. "Will you come to _me?_ "

 

And it's there again. He had turned away from her once for selfish reasons … out of anger, a tantrum because she would not join him. Now ...

 

He should refuse. His mother won't want to see him. She'll never forgive him for what he's done. Rey might be generous enough, but no one else could possibly forget whose blood stains his hands. And if he leaves now he may not be able to return … which could prove disastrous for the galaxy as a whole. If Hux seizes power from him …

 

But it's his mother.

 

And Rey.

 

_Rey._

 

"I'll be there. I'll come to her." He looks deep into her eyes. "I'll come to you, Rey."

 

She kisses him once more. "About damn time. I'll see you soon, Ben." The ghost of a smile crosses her face. "And bring those socks. Just in case ..."

 

And then she's gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I foresee interesting times ahead for our couple.


	6. Mustafar

****

He takes only a few things with him because he knows that he may never be coming back. Strangely enough, the thought of leaving the First Order- of leaving his position as Supreme Commander- seems strangely liberating. He feels freer than he has since he was sent to study with Luke.

 

Hux watches him as he prepares his ship for travel. "Where are you going, Supreme Commander?"

 

"To take care of something important."

 

"When will you be back?"

 

"When the time is right. I'll communicate my orders to you when I'm able. In the meantime, see to our wounded." He pauses. "See to Phasma."

 

Hux blinks. "I will do so. Safe travels, Supreme Commander."

 

He nods to Hux not trusting himself to speak. _Goodbye, Armitage._

 

Mustafar.

 

It was on this hellhole of a world that Anakin Skywalker (or Darth Vader) had lost his battle with Obi-Wan Kenobi. Darth Vader had built a private retreat there. It was a world strong with the Dark Side. Kylo Ren had always thought that one day- when he was strong enough- he would claim this citadel as his own residence.

 

He'd never been able to.

 

He wasn't strong enough in the Dark to attune himself to the power here, and his fragile connection to the Light wasn't potent enough to protect him. He always felt weak here, disoriented, and he had never been able to stay here long.

 

But the droids that had been left in charge of the Citadel were still active and it was still in perfect working order. Leia and Rey were strong in the Light Side of the Force- he had no doubt they would not suffer anything other than a sense of dread.

 

The torment would be all his.

 

He accepts that because he knows he deserves nothing else.

 

The Millennium Falcon is there when he arrives. They couldn't have been there long. The entire Resistance- such as it was- is still gathered outside of the ship.

 

And his mother …

 

He's afraid to reach through the Force- he doesn't try to speak to her for fear his presence would make her condition worse- but he sends the lightest tendril of thought towards his mother …

 

And feels her living presence in the Force.

 

He sighs. He's not too late. There's still time.

 

_Ben!_

 

There's warmth, welcome, relief in Rey's thoughts. It beats back the nausea that he started to feel as soon as he entered the atmosphere of the planet.

 

_Did you tell them of our bond?_

 

_No. Not yet._

 

_Don't. We can't waste time, and they'll need to trust you._

 

_Ben …_

 

He sends her the equivalent of a mental kiss through the bond and then lands his ship.

 

As he expected the Resistance comes out in force.

 

"Ren! We can't let him get to Leia! Stop him!" Poe Dameron, of course. It would be him, of course. Defending Leia like a dutiful son.

 

He feels the old jealousy flicker in his heart. Poe was the son his parents would have chosen. He had Han's charm. Leia's charisma. Somehow he always felt diminished in Poe's presence … as though his parents would have gladly traded him away if it meant they could have had Poe for a son.

 

"I'm not here to fight. I'm here for my mother."

 

In retrospect that might not have been the best choice of words.

 

" _You can't have her!"_ Chewbacca roars as he fires his bow caster.

 

Poe and the ex-Storm Trooper (Finn was the name that Rey called him?) joined him.

 

He barely has time to stop the energy bolts in mid-air.

 

"NO!" Rey screams. "Don't hurt him!"

 

"I'm not here to fight!" He's not lying. He can't if he wants to. Stopping the bolts took everything he has in his weakened state. The air tastes like smoke. He's gagging on the Darkness even more than he was the last time. He's too weak. He was always too weak.

 

Rey runs towards him.

 

"Rey!" Poe shouts. "Don't try to fight him alone!"

 

But her actions cause the firing to stop and he lurches out of the way as the blaster bolts resume their trajectory.

 

"You're an idiot, Ben Solo," she whispers when she gets near him. "What's wrong?"

 

"The Dark. Can you feel it?"

 

"Yes. It's a chill, but nothing serious."

 

"Not to you." He draws his light saber and gives it to her as she had once given him Anakin Skywalker's. "Here. Maybe this will convince them I'm not here for a fight."

 

She takes it gingerly, as though she's handling a particularly loathsome snake, but then tucks it into her belt. Then she giggles.

 

"What's so funny?" he asks with a groan.

 

"Not quite the blade I was thinking about." She leans in for a kiss.

 

"Not in front of the others. They'll lose faith in you." It hurts to refuse her, but he can't let anything distract them from what they came for.

 

There's a look of intense hurt in her eyes but she nods and helps him to his feet. "We need … Kylo." She says the name as though it tastes bad. "He's the only one who can get us into the citadel and save Leia now."

 

"Why is he doing that?" Poe demands. "What reason could the so-called Supreme Leader have for wanting to save the life of his greatest enemy?"

 

Ben says nothing. He simply looks at them. What to say? What could he do to make them believe he didn't want Leia to die?

 

And then Chewbacca steps forth to join Rey. He looks at the two of them. His face is an impassive mask.

 

Ben suddenly finds himself missing his mask. Seeing Chewbacca look at him with hatred hurts worse than bow caster bolt ever could …

 

He had grown up with the Wookie as a part of his life. He had been a … difficult child, but Chewie had never been anything less than the doting uncle right up until the time he had been sent to the Jedi Academy. He had begged his parents- begged _Chewie_ -not to make him go, but they had insisted.

 

Even _Chewie_ …

 

For the longest moment of his life he looks into the eyes of his uncle (for that's what Chewbacca had always been to him if not in blood) and waits. He knows that even without his weapon Chewie could kill him with a single blow. The wookie wouldn't even have to try. One blow and it would be all over …

 

And yet he can't bring himself to defend himself in either word or deed.

 

"Chewie … please..." Rey whispers. One hand is on Chewie's arm. The other is on his.

 

Chewie looks at her, and his eyes widen slightly. Then his eyes widen even more when he looks back at Ben looking at Rey.

 

And then … strangely … _gently_ … Chew puts his arm on Ben's shoulder. " _Welcome back."_

 

With both Chewie and Rey insisting, the Resistance follows him into the Citadel. He leads them straight to the med center and activates the medical droids.

 

"Can they help more than one person?" Finn demands. The ex-Storm Trooper is carrying a girl with him. She's wearing a mechanic's uniform. "Rose ..."

 

"Yes they can." It's not easy for him to be gentle. He looks at the young man. "Just put her on the table next to Mo- General Organa."

 

"Thank you." Finn does a double take as he realizes he just thanked the Supreme Leader of the First Order but then puts the girl down where directed.

 

The droids hum and begin their work.

 

"Now what?" Poe asks. His blaster is still out, and it's oh so causally pointed in Ben's direction.

 

"Now we wait. I brought some rations. They aren't much, but you're welcome to them. One of the droids will show you where you can rest and take care of personal hygiene." He smiles briefly as he imagines how strained the _Falcon's_ hygiene systems must have been taking care of so many people.

 

"Where are you going?" Poe asks. He still has the blaster out.

 

"Away. I don't want a sudden burst of my temper to destroy a computer console that might be needed to take care of M- General Organa." He nods to them and then walks away.

 

"Somehow," one of the rebels murmurs as he walks away, "I pictured him as being a lot more petulant."

 

There are a few bedrooms. Vader may not have slept in a conventional bed, but he had employed servants (or slaves?) who did. Thanks to his obsessive compulsion over all things Vader Ben probably knows the Citadel better than the architect who designed it. He goes to the one that had been used by Vader's most favored servant and sits down on the bed.

 

It's not dusty thanks to the maintenance droids, but there's nothing left of the man who had lived in it. He wonders briefly what happened to the man … if he had died before Vader or if he had lived to flee the Citadel once Vader died … but soon enough the thought dies.

 

He should be with his mother. He should be with Rey. But he can't be. He's a threat to them. He's a threat to everyone. Even in his weakened state, if he lashed out … he could inadvertently kill his mother …

 

"Ah. I knew those brooding thoughts could only belong to one person."

 

Rey.

 

Of course it's Rey.

 

"How are they?"

 

"Stable. Rose will be up and about before you know it. Your mother … her heart is bad-"

 

"Because I broke it-"

 

"Don't say that, Ben."

 

"It's true. I shouldn't have come. I'm probably making her worse-"

 

"Ben, she would want you here." Rey sits down on the bed beside him. " _I_ want you here."

 

He kisses her.

 

She kisses him back, Deeper. Gesturing wildly to close the bedroom doors. Her mouth devours his. Her hands roam over his body, tugging at the fastenings …

 

"Rey, this isn't a good time." His hands seem to have a mind of their own because they're doing the same thing to her clothes.

 

"It will never be a good time, Ben," She pauses and looks deep into his eyes. "Your mother is alive thanks to you. We're safe thanks to you. I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. I don't know what's going to happen in the next hour. But you're here and I'm here. I don't want to waste a moment that may never come again. You said you love me. Show me how much you love me." She pauses and kisses him again. "Let me show you how much I love you."

 

And he does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So not exactly a slow burn here...


	7. The Morning After The Night Before

Ben- _her_ Ben and Force help anyone or anything that tries to take him from her now- is still asleep when she's awake. She's always been a light sleeper and sharing a bed with someone else- especially _naked_ \- is a new sensation to her. The feel of his skin touching hers … touching her where no one else ever has, no one else ever will … is _intoxicating._

 

No one has ever belonged to her before. She's never belonged to anyone before. She's never had _anything_ that belonged to her other than what she scavenged from the refuge that no one else ever wanted.

 

_So this is love …_

 

Ben wanted her. Ben wanted her. Not just her power. He didn't want a dark empress or a queen of light. He didn't need her to be a savior. _His_ savior. He just wanted her- a little scavenger girl from Jakku whose own parents sold her for a few credits to waste. He just wanted _Rey_.

 

And he _loved_ her.

 

He had said the words. The first time in her entire life anyone had said those words to her. He had come back to her when he had an empire to lose. He walked away from Darkness for her.

 

He became Ben Solo again for her.

 

He came back for _her_.

 

And it almost feels like she's going to die from the joy of it all.

 

She wants to stay in bed with him forever, but as tempting as that thought is she knows the world has been moving on without her. She has to face the others. She has no doubt that they know now. No one had come to "rescue" her from Kylo Ren. No one had come looking for her.

 

_Thank you, Chewbacca. Only you could have made sure we had this time together._

 

"Ben ..."

 

He opens his eyes. "Rey."

 

"We should get up and check on your mother."

 

"Yes." He blinks. "I'm Ben Solo."

 

"Pleased to meet you, Ben. I'm Rey." She looks at him curiously.

 

"I'm Ben Solo again. I gave up that name years ago when the Jedi Academy was destroyed. I stopped thinking of myself as Ben when I became Kylo Ren. Dad …" and the old ache of pain is in his eyes again "... Dad and then you were the first people to call me by that name in years."

 

"And now?"

 

"Ben Solo is awake." He smiles softly. He closes his eyes for a moment. "Can you feel it?"

 

"I am definitely feeling a certain part of Ben Solo waking up," she kisses him. "But we can't. We really can't." But she really wants to.

 

He returns the kiss, stroking her hair. "I know, but that's not what I meant. This place. Mustafar. Something has changed."

 

She reaches out through the Force. "You're right. It feels different. I can still sense the Dark here, but now there's more of the Light."

 

"I think it was us. What we did."

 

She smiles at him wryly. "So, what? You're saying we're going to have to cross the Galaxy making love in all the Dark Places of the Galaxy to make them better." She leans in for a deeper kiss, her tongue flicking into his mouth again. "I think I could get behind that ..."

 

"Rey ..." He groans with lust. "We're not going to leave this bed, are we?"

 

"Well not at this moment," she says with a smirk.

 

Later, after sharing a shower that seems strangely familiar, they reluctantly part. "I want to see Mother, but I need a little more time, Rey. Go to her."

 

"All right. I will. Where are you going? I'm not leaving you if you're just going into some dark corner to brood again."

 

"No. Not that. There's someone else I need to talk to." He pauses. "Alone."

 

"Chewbacca?"

 

"Chewbacca." He kisses her again before they reach the doors. "I love you."

 

"You could say that through the bond," she points out.

 

"I know. But I just like saying it."

 

"And I like hearing it. I love you too." She kisses him again and then heads to the med center.

 

Poe is there. Finn and Rose are there as well. Chewie is outside working on the _Falcon._ The rest of the Resistance is either still sleeping or seeing to breakfast.

 

"How is she?" Rey finally asks them. She watches Finn fuss over the girl, Rose, and feels a strange stab of jealousy. It's not that she wants Finn in the same way that she wants Ben, but it feels like she's losing her best friend.

 

"Leia? She's stable and awake." Poe glares at her. "You'd know that if you hadn't spent all night romping with the man who tried to kill her."

 

"Poe, don't be a jerk." Finn smiles at Rey and she realizes that maybe she hasn't lost him after all. "Rey, this is Rose. Rose Tico. Rose, this is Rey."

 

"Rey? THE Rey? Oh wow. It's an honor to meet you … um... is Jedi Master the right term to call you?" Rose's eyes are wide and she's babbling a little bit. She's wearing some kind of back brace but through the Force Rey can tell the mechanic has suffered no permanent damage.

 

"You can just call me Rey. I'm not a Jedi yet." _Maybe I never will be. Maybe Ben and I will be something else. Something different._ "I'm glad to see you're mending. Finn's been terribly worried about you. What happened?"

 

"I had to run into this jerk with a snow speeder to keep him from getting himself killed." Rose smacks Finn lightly. "It's a good thing I'm a mechanic. He's very high maintenance."

 

"You have no idea." Rey smiles at the girl. She finds herself liking this girl- and she's grateful that she's alive. "I'm very glad to meet you, Rose. We'll have to talk later." She glances over at Poe. "Now I'm going to see Leia."

 

"I'm sure it'll be an interesting conversation." He glances out the door to where Ben left. "Kylo Ren has betrayed anyone who's ever trusted or loved him. What makes you think you're going to be any different?"

 

"Because _he's_ different- and his name is Ben Solo. Now get out of my way before I go through you."

 

The pilot looks at her for a moment- in pity or anger she's not sure- and then steps aside. "I hope you're right. For all our sakes."

 

She steps into the room that's been set up for Leia. There are several medical droids working over her, but the General is clearly awake. "Hello, Rey."

 

"General. I was just checking to see how you were."

 

"I've been better, but some company will do me good. Why don't you sit down and we can have a nice chat?"

 

"Okay." She takes a seat and smiles at Leia. "What shall we talk about?"

 

Leia smiles back at her. "Well, sadly I've been too busy to read any good books lately, and the music isn't nearly as good as it was when I was younger, so why don't we talk about how long you've been sleeping with my son?"

And the smile freezes on Rey's lips. "Um ..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I don't mean to make Poe sound like a bad guy, but he is prone to quick judgments and it's not like he has a lot of reasons to like or trust Ben. Not everyone is going to be on board with the hope of the resistance being in love with the Supreme Leader (if he still is) of the First Order.


	8. Uncle Chewie

Kylo Ren always wore his uniform as a Knight of Ren. Before that, Ben Solo had never cared much about clothing. On those rare occasions when he had to accompany his mother to some political function, she had chosen his outfit for him much as she had done when he was a toddler. Now … now when he's about to face his father's oldest friend … the Wookie who had helped raise him … who had tried to kill him for murdering Han … he had nothing to wear but the same clothing he wore when he murdered his father.

 

It was not an auspicious start to his … what? Apology? Contrition? What can he possibly say to Chewie to earn his forgiveness?

 

And yet … he's drawn to the Wookie. Being around him … knowing that Chewie must hate him … knowing that he deserves Chewie's hatred … it's _hard_.

 

He can't earn Chewie's forgiveness, but he can try to show him that he's changed and that he won't hurt Rey or his mother. He can try to be a better person.

 

Though if he makes Chewie angry the odds are he won't be around long enough to much of a better person.

 

He walks outside to where he knows he'll find Chewie … working on the _Falcon._ The ship has a way of surviving the impossible, but it also has a habit of breaking down just when you're counting on it the most. It's a temperamental ship, but it had been Ben's second home for years.

 

And he's dimly certain that he'll never feel welcomed on that ship again. Not only did he kill Han, he had tried to destroy the _Falcon._

 

Chewie is on the outside of the ship. He's in the process of replacing one of the strobe lights at the front of the ship.

 

"Chewbacca." He pauses as the Wookie looks at him. There's no anger in those eyes, but there's none of the affection that once been there either. "Can I help?"

 

The Wookie shrugs.

 

He gathers the Force around himself and leaps up to the top of the ship, landing near Chewie. For half an hour he doesn't say anything, just hands Chewie the tools he needs to make the replacement. He'd done something like this before he could talk … possibly before he could even walk. The Force had always allowed him to read Chewie's thoughts so he could provide whatever tool the Wookie needed.

 

Now … now he doesn't dare try to reach into Chewie's mind. He's terrified of what he might find.

 

When the job is done, he looks at the Wookie. "Chewie … I'm so sorry for what I did. What I became. It-" He wants to say that it wasn't his fault, but he knows that's not true. Snoke may have shown him a dark path, but he chose to walk it himself. "I'm sorry."

 

" _I'm sorry too. I failed you, Ben."_

 

His surprise must be evident because the Wookie nods his head. " _I was your SecondFather. It was my duty to protect you. My oath was to be there for you and provide whatever support your parents couldn't. I felt it here"_ and he touched his heart " _that you should not go to Luke. You belonged with us. With your parents. With me where we could keep you safe. But I didn't fight hard enough to keep you safe. I'm sorry, Ben-"_

 

"It wasn't your fault. Mother and Dad did what they thought was right. They didn't know how to deal with a child like me. No one did. You all wanted what was best for me. Even Luke." He closes his eyes. "Rey showed me her memories- Luke regretted what he almost did- if I hadn't woke up when I did I never would have known and maybe all this could have been avoided. Or maybe I was hell-bent on becoming Kylo Ren all along." He looks into the Wookie's eyes. "But I know now it was my fault, Chewie. No matter what my parents did. No matter what Luke did. Even Snoke doesn't excuse me. I _chose_ to serve the First Order. Every life I took I made that choice over and over again. I lied to myself, telling myself the ends justified the means- that the New Order we were making would bring peace to the galaxy, an end to all the needless violence and death … but it was a lie. I hated everything and everyone- myself most of all- and I just wanted to burn down everything my parents had built.

 

"It was all me, Chewie. From the first life I took to- to Dad- it was all me."

 

He closes his eyes for a moment and lets the tears flow.

 

And then he feels a gentle but powerful hand on his shoulder. " _And then you made another choice. You chose to come back to us, Ben."_

 

"Why don't you hate me? I killed Dad! I killed your best friend!"

 

" _You killed my brother."_

 

He looks away from those eyes. Those eyes that had seen him grow up. Those eyes that could read his soul better than anyone this side of Rey. "How can you forgive that?"

 

" _I didn't at first. I hated you for that, Ben. I would have killed you. I tried to kill you. Even when we came to this world I would have killed you- until I looked into your eyes. Until I saw you looking at Rey."_

 

He looks up at Chewie. "You didn't want to hurt Rey by killing me?"

 

" _No. I looked into your eyes and I didn't see the monster on the bridge that killed my brother. I saw the baby who teethed on my bowcaster. I saw the boy who learned to fly sitting on my lap. I saw the young man Han gave his life to save. I no longer saw an enemy; I saw that someone I loved had come back to me. Han wanted you to come back home, Ben; we all did. He doesn't hate you; and neither do I."_

 

"It's hard, Chewie. So hard to live with what I've done..."

 

 _"I know. That is your penance for your crimes, Ben Solo._ "

 

He nodded, his eyes filling with tears once more.

 

And then he's enveloped in a huge Wookie hug as Chewie pulls him into his arms as he did when he was a child. " _I'm glad you're back, Ben. I missed you."_

 

"I missed you too."

 

And he had. He had missed them all. Mother. Dad. Chewie- even Uncle Luke. He missed the people who had made Ben Solo who he was.

 

But in spite of his many crimes- in spite of what he had lost- _who_ he had lost- he now knew he had a future.

 

_Ben, you have to come! It's your mother …_

 

A chill came to his heart. _Is she worse?_

 

 _No._ And from the fearless Rey- who had surrendered to the first Order to redeem a man she had every reason to hate- he felt something like … anxiety. _She knows, Ben. She knows about us._

 

_And? It was bound to happen and I didn't think you wanted to keep it secret any longer than we had to..._

 

_She wants to talk to us, Ben. She wants to talk to both of us! Force! She keeps asking me about my intentions towards her son... and how I'm going to support you … and if we want kids … I've changed my mind. We're eloping. Definitely eloping. Get your pale white ass back here, Ben! I am NOT doing this alone!_

 

 _I'll be right there._ "I have to go, Chewie. Mother and Rey are … talking."

 

The Wookie laughed. _"Better you than me, Ben."_

 

"Chewie … Rey and I are … serious."

 

" _Really? I hadn't noticed."_

 

"Since when do Wookies practice sarcasm?"

 

_"You haven't been paying attention. How do you think I survived all these years with humans? My sense of humor is the only thing that's kept me sane."_

 

"Chewie … when the time comes, will you stand with Rey and me? When we marry?"

 

The Wookie's eyes get suspiciously moist. _"I will be honored, Ben."_ He hugged Ben again. _"Now go see to your future- and your past."_

 

Ben smiles and turns back to the Citadel. _Mother … I know you love Rey. I hope you can find it in your heart to still love me …._

 

And with a conflicted heart- which is nothing new for Ben Solo- he makes his way back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have gone overboard a bit with the Rey/Leia thing, but I think TLJ shows that Leia has a certain wicked sense of humor. Rey is a strong, confident young woman (she would pretty much have to be with everything we've seen her do) but she's also someone who practically raised herself so she doesn't have a lifetime of social cues to fall back on. My head canon is that she's really good at practical things- fighting, repairing and scavenging- but a purely social situation not so much. She could face certain death a lot more calmly than speaking to a room full of strangers, for example.


	9. A Mother Knows

Leia smiles back at her. "Well, sadly I've been too busy to read any good books lately, and the music isn't nearly as good as it was when I was younger, so why don't we talk about how long you've been sleeping with my son?"

 

And the smile freezes on Rey's lips. "Um ..." She wishes she could sink into the floor. "Did you feel it through the Force?"

 

"No. I heard the others talk about it. I'm old not deaf, dear. Besides, you have a hickey."

 

Rey blushes and puts her hand to her neck. "I'm going to kill him ..."

 

"Answer my question, Rey. How long have you been sleeping with my son?"

 

"Um, I kind of lost track last night. And then there was twice this morning ..."

 

Leia winces. "How _long_ , dear. Not how often. I don't want to know how many times you've had sex with my son. I don't even want to _think_ about how man times you've had sex with my son. Let me try to rephrase the question. How long have you been in love with my son?"

 

"I don't know." It's hard to confess that.

 

"Was our arrival here … our safe passage and medical care... was _this_ how you got him to say yes to it?"

 

"What? _No!_ " There's a white hot surge of anger in her at that. "I did not sleep with Ben to save you. He never would have asked that of me." She forces the anger to cool down. "I pretty much take the lead in that ..."

 

"Rey … again with details I don't want to know." Leia had given up hope that Ben Solo would ever come back a long time ago. "How did this- how did the two of you happen?"

 

"Snoke said he created a Force bond between us, but I don't believe it. It's too … _good_ for that. I think it might have started earlier." There's old pain here- for Leia and herself. "After … after the First Order captured me. Ben- Kylo then- tried to interrogate me to find out what I knew ..."

 

"Did he _hurt_ you, Rey?"

 

"No … not really. Not the way you think. He read my thoughts … and I discovered I could read his too. That's how I knew about his fears. He left me … and then I used the Force to escape. I think that's when the bond was established." She looks away. "When I found Luke, the bond became stronger. I could talk to Ben. That's when he became Ben to me. He told me what happened … or at least what he thought had happened. He thought Luke tried to kill him."

 

"You're saying that Luke made him into Kylo Ren."

 

"Not just Luke. Everyone. You. Han. Luke. Snoke." She hates this part but it's truth, and it's fair, and she knows that Ben would want her to say this. "But Ben knows that he's responsible for everything he did as Kylo Ren. He's accepted that. And so have I."

 

"What happened when you told Luke about this? You did tell him?"

 

"He walked in on Ben and I ..." She saw the older woman's eyes widen and then laughed. "No. Not that. We were just reaching out for each other." _Maybe if we hadn't been interrupted things would have been different. Maybe he would have come to me sooner. "_ I told Luke there was still light in Ben. He told me that Ben couldn't be saved. I went after him anyway."

 

"I'm beginning to see why Ben fell in love with you..."

 

"He took me to Snoke. Snoke tried to make me tell him where Luke was. He couldn't make me." Her eyes tell Leia what she needed to know about that. "Then he told Kylo- Ben- to kill me. Obviously he didn't. He used the Force to control my light saber to kill Snoke. Then together we defeated Snoke's Praetorian guard. It was … I can't describe it to you, General. We moved as one, had absolute faith in each other. And then when we won, I thought Ben would come back with me … that we could bring an end to the war … but he chose the throne and when I refused him, we destroyed my light saber. We were so perfectly matched that neither of us could overcome the other. It exploded. I woke up before Ben and got away."

 

"You didn't think to kill him?" The thought hurts Leia, but if she had been there...

 

"No. I couldn't kill Ben- any more than he could kill me whenever he had a chance." She closes her eyes. "I was wrong. I thought I could _save_ Ben. That if Snoke died the spell on Kylo Ren would be lifted and he'd be Ben Solo again. He'd be good again- just like that. But it wasn't. I couldn't save Ben, General. He had to save himself."

 

"But you gave him a reason to do so."

 

She blushes. "I told him I wanted him- wanted to be with him- but I couldn't join him on the Dark Side. He would have to come to me. And when I told him you needed help, he told me about Mustafar and came to us. To _me._ "

 

She doesn't know why she says that last, but she can't stop herself. There are parts of Ben she won't share with anyone- even _his mother._ Parts that she has claimed for _herself._

 

_"_ He came back for you." Leia smiles, but there's an ache in her heart that neither she or Han had been able to bring Ben home. _Maybe if we had tried together … "_ Rey, Ben was Supreme Leader of the First Order. Is he still?"

 

"I don't know. He doesn't know either. I guess we'll find out when we encounter them again."

 

" _Rey._ " If she could, Leia would rise up from her sickbed. "We had a chance for peace. Ben was on the throne. We could have worked out a truce- maybe even a peace treaty. We had the best chance for peace and he _threw_ it away!"

 

"He did it to save your life! And I asked him to! He came because _I_ asked him too. I wanted him here, _General._ He had no one to watch his back there. Do you think Hux wasn't planning to kill Ben as soon as he could?"

 

"There was a risk, but with his skills Ben would have been-"

 

"He could have _died,_ Leia! Doesn't that mean _anything_ to you? Don't you _care_ about your own _son?_ "

 

"Of course I care, Rey! But now millions of lives are at risk because the two of you put me- put _yourselves_ \- before the welfare of the galaxy! That's not the Jedi way!"

 

"I am not a Jedi! _Ben_ is not a Jedi! If the Jedi Council hadn't been so hidebound that Anakin had to keep his marriage a secret he might not have become Darth Vader! If Ben hadn't been forced to try to _surpress_ his feeling then maybe he wouldn't have become Kylo Ren!" She knows she's shouting, but she can't stop herself. "Ben and I won't become Jedi if it means giving up on our love! We won't let our _children_ become Jedi if it means they would have to give up on love! Maybe Luke was right- maybe it is time for the Jedi to end!"

 

She stares at the surprised older woman for a moment. She's on the verge of stepping out the door when Leia says, "So, you're planning on having kids? How many?"

 

She whirls about and stares at the older woman. "What?"

 

"Children, Rey. Your children. My future grandchildren. Are you expecting?"

 

"No." _At least I don't think so …_

 

"I wanted a larger family, but there was never enough time. So much work to do in the Senate. And somehow … Han and I just never managed to work it out to try again after Ben. We were afraid to try, to be honest."

 

"I … see." _Are you blaming Ben for that? That you were so disappointed in what he was that you were afraid another child would be just as dangerous?_

 

"I do hope that Ben salted away some credits when he left the First Order. Children are very expensive," Leia says to change the subject. Is that political skill or the Force? Rey isn't sure.

 

"We'll be fine. I'll take care of Ben, he'll take care of me, and we'll both take care of our children. If we have them. When we have them. Which isn't going to be soon. Because I'm _not_ pregnant."

 

"Twins run in the family."

 

_Force. I can't do this alone. It's like she's_ _ **trying**_ _to drive me crazy._ She reaches desperately out into the Force. _She knows, Ben. She knows about us._

 

His reply comes back annoyingly calm. _And? It was bound to happen and I didn't think you wanted to keep it secret any longer than we had to..._

 

"Did Ben tell you he's still technically part of the Royal House of Alderaan? Since his past as Kylo Ren isn't generally known, I'm sure there'll be a big celebration and that the government of New Alderann will want the wedding held there. If it's something that the two of you are planning on soon, we should notify them … Perhaps Ben should join us...?" There's a longing in the older woman's voice that belies the lightness of her words... and everything that she's said earlier … she's a mother who's been kept from her son far too long.

 

And if Rey wasn't currently having a meltdown she might have noticed that. _She wants to talk to us, Ben. She wants to talk to both of us! Force! She keeps asking me about my intentions towards her son... and how I'm going to support you … and if we want kids … I've changed my mind. We're eloping. Definitely eloping. Get your pale white posterior back here, Ben! I am NOT doing this alone!_

 

_I'll be right there._

 

How _dare_ he be so calm! He never said anything about being a prince! Force! She didn't know anything about royalty … what if they expected her to wear a _dress?!_

 

"Ben is on his way, General." Her teeth grind against each other. _When I get you alone, Ben Solo we're going to have a long talk …_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just love Leia.


	10. LEIA

There are things that Leia Organa had planned to say to her son if she ever saw him again in life. (Something she had not expected because she had so much and Ben had been the first of the losses and the cause of the losses and sometimes it took all her mother's heart not to pray for his death.) She had imagined condemnation, tears of joy from her son having come to his senses … she had even pictured shouted words of defiance as he stabbed her through the heart with the same light saber he had used on Han. She imagined everything but what she actually said:

 

"You need a haircut."

 

"Hello, Mother." There's both fear in his eyes and something else … _hope?_

 

"Hello, Ben. Seriously, you need a haircut. I've never seen it that long. How do you have time to do anything but take care of that hair in the morning?"

 

"I _like_ it. It's nice to run my fingers through," Rey says with that characteristic bluntness of hers.

 

"I multi-task, Mother. One of the things I learned from you." He turns to Rey and there's a kind of happiness and love that Leia never thought to see in her son's eyes.

 

Rey slips into his arms and kisses him. It's not the most chaste of kisses. Leia has the distinctly uncomfortable feeling that the young woman is preparing to ravage her son right in front of her. "Um, Rey? Can you let my son use his mouth for something else for a few minutes?"

 

Rey blushed slightly as though remembering her presence. "You and I are going to talk later, _Prince Ben._ "

 

Ben winces … and it almost makes Leia want to cry. It's such an _open_ human reaction from her son. There had been a time when he had been like other boys- he had laughed and cried, demanded and begged for his parents' attention- but gradually he had become a stranger to them. Anger he had in plenty- but laughter, embarrassment- when was the last time her son had felt _safe_ enough with her to be so _human?_ "You told her, Mother?"

 

"Of course I did, dear. You weren't going to plan on telling her on the wedding day were you?"

 

"I _was_ pushing the whole elopement thing." Ben arches an eyebrow, and Leia almost tears up at seeing that echo of his father in him...

 

Ben and Rey glance at each other. She can feel the Force flow between them, their bond so strong that she can almost _see_ it. Her connection with Luke- with Han- had been different. Is _this_ what love between two Force sensitives is like?

 

Seeing this- seeing her son so _happy-_ causes the words to escape her without thought. "Force but I wish Han were here!"

 

"So do I," Ben says softly.

 

Rey embraces him again, glaring at Leia as though she had made an accusation.

 

"Ben ..."

 

"It's all right, Mother. I know what I did. I've accepted it."

 

She wants to say that she forgives him, forgives her son for taking her husband from her, but she can't. The ability to forgive those who harmed her had never been one of her strengths. She had never forgiven Darth Vader for her mother's death, for Alderaan's destruction, for torturing her- no matter how much Luke had encouraged her to do so. "All right. It's best that we don't speak of it."

 

"I agree," Ben says with a nod of his head.

 

And again Rey glares at her … it's a bittersweet feeling – Rey had become something like a daughter to her- but when it came to choosing between Leia and her son, Rey was clearly prepared to choose Ben every time.

 

The strength of that bond frightens her. If Rey had been a little weaker … if she had chosen to join Ben on the Dark Side … there would have been no hope for the Resistance at all. Thank the Force for small favors.

 

And then because she's Leia Organa … "Rey says that you became Supreme Leader after the two of you killed Snoke."

 

"That's right."

 

"When you came to us, what did you tell them?"

 

Ben shifts uncomfortably. He can see the judgment in her eyes- and she hates herself for having it but can't help herself either. "I told them I had something to take care of and that I would contact them when I could."

 

"That's it? That's all you did?"

 

"Yes. That's all I did." He looks away.

 

"Ben … do you think your throne will be waiting for you?" She hates herself for this- hates that the politician, the general, is stronger than the mother in this moment. "You could have saved so many lives if you had stayed. Not just Resistance lives- those of the First Order. People you're supposed to _lead,_ Ben."

 

He blinks. "You're mad at me because I left the people who are trying to kill you?"

 

"There are things more important than my life, son. I spent my life trying to bring peace to the galaxy- you had a chance to make that a reality and you threw it away to be with your girlfriend."

 

"And to save your life, Mother. Don't forget I did it to save your life."

 

There's anger in Ben now. She can feel it rolling through the Force like a gathering of thunder.

 

"Ben!" Rey cries out. "No!"

 

She wants to tell Rey that it's no use. That once Ben lost his temper nothing would cool it until he had unleashed his power. Destroying something. Destroying _someone_ …

 

But Ben is looking at Rey, and the anger drains out of him like water being poured from a bottle. He grabs her tightly, burying his face against her neck.

 

And Leia gapes. She had never seen her son regain control so quickly.

 

"Maybe Ben isn't the one with too much Vader in him," Rey snaps. "Let's go, Ben."

 

"Ben-" Forgiveness has never been a strength; neither is saying sorry. The words stick in her throat. "Thank you for saving my life."

 

Its all she can give him.

 

"Your welcome, Mother." And he lets Rey lead him out of her room.

 

Leia lays her head down again wearily. She's dying. The droids here can keep her alive, but only so long as she has life support attached to her. _How can I lead the Resistance if I can't even leave this bed?_

 

And then she feels the presence come again. He's tried to speak with her many times over the years. She always shut him out. Always refused to listen to him. Guiltily she wonders if he could have warned her about Snoke if she hadn't been so determined to keep him away …

 

Now … now she's too weak, too tired … to fight him. "Hello, Darth Vader."

 

"Anakin," he says gently, looking impossibly young and handsome. "Anakin Skywalker Or Father. _Not_ Darth Vader."

 

"Bail Organa was my father. I never met Anakin Skywalker. Darth Vader- I knew him quite well. He spent several hours supervising my interrogation."

 

There's pain in the old-young man's eyes. "You can't imagine how sorry I am about that. If I had known who you were—"

 

"I'm sure. But what about the other people you tortured- the other people you killed? Do you feel bad for murdering them? For torturing them?"

 

"I do. But I'm not here to talk to you about my many failings. I'm here for you."

 

"I know I'm dying. There's nothing anyone can do about that."

 

"Your heart is failing."

 

"I know. Your medical droids told me." Leia sighs. "I think I'm okay with that. I'm tired … Anakin." She could afford to give him that much now. "Poe can lead the Resistance. He'll do well as long as he has the others to help him. And my son … my son came back. I have faith in the future. I have hope."

 

"There is another way. A way for you to stay alive. I know my droids told you about it."

 

"They did. I won't do that. I'd rather die than become … _that._ "

 

"You're a true Skywalker, Leia." He chuckles wryly.

 

She glares at him. "Only if you mean I'm like Luke."

 

"Skywalkers love fiercely, deeply. We're passionate and we don't forgive." He pauses. "You had Padme's strength and my passion … both good and bad. Luke had my power … and Padme's heart. Ben … Ben has it all. That's what nearly damned him … and that's what saved him. I don't know if I could have had his courage- the courage to keep on living after acknowledging the many wrongs I did."

 

"Rey gives him strength."

 

"That's what he believes too. He's as wrong as you are. No one else can _give_ you strength. The only one who free you from the Dark Side is yourself."

 

"Why didn't you go to him? He would have listened to you! All this tragedy- all this death- could have avoided!"

 

"Why didn't you listen to him?" There's no anger in Anakin's voice. "You were his mother. How did you not know what was happening to him?"

 

"I … thought it was from you. From me. From the blood I gave him. I thought Luke could save him because I didn't know how. Luke had saved you- why couldn't he save my son? Why did this have to happen to us?!"

 

"I wondered the same thing when my mother was taken by the Sand People. If only the Jedi had let me go to her sooner. If only I had understood my visions sooner. I tried to go to Ben, but the Force wouldn't let me. All I could do was watch him make the same mistakes I made..."

 

"The Force? Snoke?"

 

"I don't know. I'm dead not omniscient. Maybe the Force itself needed Ben to lose himself so he could find a better, stronger version of himself." Anakin looked down at her. "He needs you, Leia. He still needs his mother."

 

"He has Rey." There's bitterness in that acknowledgment. "He's in love with a girl he barely knows- and she knows him better than I did and I'm the one who gave birth to him. I failed Ben; Rey never will."

 

"Like you never failed Han?"

 

She winces. "We were different."

 

"Rey and Ben are strong- stronger together than any two Force users I've ever heard heard about- in life or death. But they aren't invincible. They're human. They're going to make mistakes. They can't topple the First Order for your Resistance, Leia. They need your strength. Your guidance." He pauses. "Search your feelings. You know this to be true."

 

"Do you use that line on _everyone,_ Anakin?"

 

"Only my children- only the people I love. I know you're tired, Leia. I know you want to be with Han and Luke, but your son- your people- need you to hold on just a little longer. They need you."

 

"And we both know what that will take." She's so tired. Her heart hurts. But then … "Can you see the future?"

 

"The future is always in motion."

 

"If I stay- if I keep on fighting- will I live long enough to see my grandchildren?"

 

Anakin says nothing for a moment, a long moment. "They're going to need a _very_ big house, Leia."

 

"All right. I've made my choice." She pauses. "Thank you, Anakin. And … I'll try to forgive you."

 

"That's all I can ask for, Leia." He smiles at her one last time. "Now try to do the same for Ben- and yourself."

 

And the spirit of Anakin Skywalker disappears.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I read an interview Mark Hamill gave where he said that Carrie Fisher told him that the story of the Skywalkers was of a dysfunctional family, and I really felt that I had to give my viewpoint of this. Leia and Han were good people trying to be the best parents they could be, but even without Snoke, even without Ben's power, he would have had a difficult and lonely childhood. That doesn't excuse Ben's actions, but it does make him a little more redeemable to us all.


	11. Marry Me

She leads Ben away from his mother, through her friends- if they are _still_ her friends- of the Resistance. She can feel Poe's scowl long after they leave. Finn looks at her with sympathy- and Rose with curiosity.

 

Ben is compliant, letting her lead him away. She can feel the waves of disappointment from him like a black whirlpool threatening to drag him down. She has to get him away from the others. Away from Leia.

 

They go back to the room. _Their_ room if anything can be said to be theirs. The place where they can hide from the First Order and the Resistance. Their haven where they are just Ben and Rey.

 

She sits him down on the bed and he stares at the floor. "I'm sorry, Rey. I thought … I thought I could control myself. That I wasn't that person anymore."

 

"You _did_ control it, Ben. You didn't give way to your anger. You didn't destroy anything. You didn't strike out at your mother." _Though part of me thinks she deserved it._ "You're getting better, Ben. You can't expect change to happen overnight."

 

"I know- but I guess I was hoping that she would feel … _proud_ of me." He laughed bitterly. "Ironic isn't it? One of the most powerful Force users of the age and I'm still wanting Mommy's approval."

 

"You don't need her approval, Ben. You have mine." She takes his head into her hands. "I love you, Ben. I love you. I love you." With each declaration she kisses him with the speed of an auto fire blaster. She wants to take away his pain—and if she can't do that, she at least wants him to know that no matter what _she's_ still proud of him.

 

They don't make love. They simply lie down on the bed together, holding each other. She rests her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat, listening to it calm down and grow steadier. She sighs happily. "Marry me, Ben Solo."

 

"I asked you first."

 

"No you didn't."

 

"Yes I did. Twice now."

 

She mock glares at him. "You asked me to join you in the First Order, to stand beside you. That was a job offer not a proposal."

 

"I _meant_ I wanted you to marry me."

 

"Still doesn't count, Solo."

 

"Well … in the shower. The first shower. I definitely asked you there."

 

"Still asking me to rule beside you. Oh, and make babies with you. Neither one of those qualifies as anything like a marriage proposal. That's why I had to ask you. Otherwise you'd never get around to it. You can be the king of procrastination sometimes, Ben Solo."

 

"But you still love me?"

 

"Yes. I'm kind of stupid that way sometimes."

 

He laughs and snuggles against her for a moment. "Fine. We'll do this the old fashioned away." He slide off the bed. "Sit up."

 

"What?"

 

"Sit up."

 

Bemused, she does as he asks. "This better be good, Ben. I was just getting sleepy."

 

He gets down on one knee in front of her. "It will be. Be prepared to be astounded by my awesome marriage proposal. My mastery of the Force is as nothing compared to my masterful romantic nature."

 

"Right." Rey rolls her eyes, but she's also blushing. _Is he really going to do it?_

 

"Rey of Jakku … marry me."

 

She laughs. "That's almost exactly what I just said. You're going to have to do better than that."

 

"All right. I will." He takes her hands and looks into her eyes. "Rey … there is nothing or no one I want more than you. You're my everything. I want to spend every day of my life waking up with you in my arms. I want to grow old with you. I want to have children with you. I want to be with you for as long as there is breath in my body … and forever after. Please, Rey. Love me. Let me show you how much I love you- every day for the rest of our lives."

 

"Ben-" She looks into his eyes for a long moment. Long enough for him to start worrying. "Yes. I'll marry you." She kisses him. "But I still asked you first."

 

"You're never going to let me live that down, are you?"

 

"No. I'm not." She pulled him back onto the bed. "The ring."

 

"The ring?"

 

"Yes. Where's my ring?"

 

"Um … I'll have to get one."

 

"You know I'm going to expect you to do that all over again when you get the ring."

 

He sighs. "Of course you will."

 

"And I'm not expecting anything too extravagant."

 

"That's good to know."

 

"But I'm sure _Prince Ben_ can find something that's befitting his station."

 

"Rey- it's not like it means anything. I don't have a castle or get any money from it. The only time Mom brings it up is when she wants to embarrass me."

 

"I don't care. You should have told me."

 

"When? When we weren't trying to kill each other we were still getting to know each other through our Force bond. We didn't exactly have time to exchange resumes."

 

"Is there anything else you forgot to tell me?"

 

"I still have my Stuffed Ewok from childhood. I think that's the last of my deep dark secrets."

 

"Really?"

 

"Yes. Chewie gave it to me when I went to Uncle Luke's Academy, I took it with me when I … left."

 

"Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order … has a _Stuffed Ewok?_ "

 

"Don't make me Force choke you, Rey."

 

"Did you dress it up in a little Knight of Ren outfit?"

 

"Of course not!"

 

"Did you bring it with you?"

 

"Yes. Along with a few other things."

 

"Credits? Tell me you brought credits."

 

"Some. Why?"

 

"Just something your mother said." She kisses him quickly. "Can I see it?"

 

"Are you going to make fun of me some more over it?"

 

"Probably." She sighs. "I had a doll on Jakku. I wasn't able to bring it with me."

 

"We should go back for it."

 

"No … that would be foolish."

 

"It's part of your past. If it means something to you, you should have it."

 

"That's very sweet of you, Ben, but I'm not sure I could ever go back to Jakku now. Too many memories … too many lost years." She closes her eyes for a moment.

 

"They weren't lost."

 

"Hm?"

 

"They made you who you are- and you're exactly who I needed."

 

"Stop being adorable and give me my Stuffed Ewok."

 

"What do you mean _your_ Stuffed Ewok?"

 

"You just proposed marriage. What's yours is mine, and what's mine is yours."

 

"Does that mean I can have your staff?"

 

"Touch my staff and you're a dead man, Solo."

 

He reaches through the Force and calls his travel bag to him. "Just remember- the marriage is over if you hurt Wicket."

 

The Stuffed Ewok is battered and old … veteran of many a tearful and lonely night.

 

"I'm surprised Snoke let you keep it." Rey smiles as she takes the Ewok carefully into her arms. She hugs it to her.

 

"You think I just learned how to fool him when we were in his throne room?" He sighs for a moment. "I actually forget about him- forget I had him until after..." _After Dad._

 

"Did you bring anything else?"

 

"Yes. But nothing as important as Wicket." _Just grandfather's helmet …_

 

Rey smiles. "Maybe Wicket should go back into the travel bag- we wouldn't want to leave him behind if we have to make a sudden departure." She sighs. "Ben … how long do you think we can stay here before the First Order starts looking for us? For you?"

 

"I don't know. Hux is ambitious. He's undoubtedly consolidating his power as we speak. He's probably happy I'm gone. And given how I wasn't exactly subtle with my obsession over you-"

 

"No! Really?" She kisses him.

 

"- he's probably going to put two and two together sooner or later. I'm trying to think of something I might be able to say to put him off the scent, but it's only a matter of time. I've grave doubts that my throne is still waiting for me." He strokes her hair, leaning in to breath her scent in again. "And I don't think I could do what it would take to get it back. Not anymore."

 

"I'm glad. I don't like it when you're away from me. I want you right here- where I can keep an eye on you. You'll get into trouble without me."

 

"I'll get into trouble _w_ _ith_ you."

 

"True. But it'll be much more fun with me tagging along."

 

"You don't 'tag along' anywhere, Rey. You're always the one leading the charge."

 

"Does it bother you?" She asks him softly. "That I'm … direct?"

 

"'Direct' is one way to put it." He kisses her forehead and then her lips. "But I wouldn't want you any other way, Rey."

 

She smiles and kisses him back. "Let's put Wicket away. I'm about to perform actions on you that innocent Ewok eyes should not see."

 

"Yes, ma'am."

 

His focus lasts just long enough to put the Stuffed Ewok away.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, look. More fluff.


	12. Shedding A Shadow

It's late when Ben wakes up again. He's nestled in a warm bed with the naked body of the woman he loved pressed against his and there's nothing more he wants than to stay there forever … or at least until he has no other choice.

 

_I don't deserve you, Rey._

 

She's still not awake, but she murmurs a sleepy protest as if she hears his thoughts. "Mine, Ben. Mine ..."

 

He kisses her forehead and tucks Wicket back into her arms. "Sleep, love. I'll be back. I need to take a walk."

 

He dresses again in the clothing he wore as Kylo Ren, picks up his travel bag, and then walks out of the bedroom into the med-center. Given the time, he's surprised to find someone else up: the engineer girl. She's frowning to herself as she works on some pad.

 

"Hello." He doesn't want to scare her, but he imagines that having him walk into the room without announcing himself might be even scarier.

 

"Hi," the girl says with a bright smile. The smile fades a bit when she sees who it is. "Um... Master Ren? Solo?"

 

"Why don't we settle on Ben?" he says with a gentle smile. "And I'm not master of anything any more." He thinks fleetingly of the other Knights of Ren. The ones who had followed him into the First Order. They hadn't been friends, but they had had followed out of respect for his power. He wonders if any of them are still alive and what will become of them.

 

Something _else to feel guilty over …_

 

"Ben it is then. I'm Rose. Rose Tico. Finn's … I think we're still working that out." She nods to a table where a portable cook stove has been set up. "There's fresh _klah_ if you'd like some. I just made a pot."

 

"Thank you. I will." He walks over to the pot and fills a cup. The chocolaty cinnamon taste sends memories spiraling through his mind. "This was Dad's favorite." And before that thought can send him into dark places. "Would you like me to refill your cup?"

 

"Please." She holds up her cup.

 

He brings the pot over and fills her cup up.

 

"Thank you." She looks strangely disappointed.

 

"What's wrong?"

 

"I thought you might make it float over."

 

He smiled wryly. "That might not be a good idea, Rose. I don't always have the most delicate of touches."

 

"Oh." She takes a sip of her _klah._

 

"How's my mother?"

 

"She's … okay. Stable. She's got me working on a project for her. She just went to sleep. I'm sure she wouldn't mind if you wanted to see her …."

 

"No. That's okay." _It probably wouldn't go well._

 

"Ben, can I ask you something?"

 

"Sure." _Please don't ask me how many people I've killed or if I know what happened to some loved one of yours..._

 

"Where you always so _nice?_ " Rose puts her cup down. "I mean... Rey acts like the weight of the world fell of her shoulders the moment you showed up. You're polite. You just seem so much _nicer_ than I thought you would be. Is this what you were like before you became Kylo Ren?"

 

"Force no," another voice says and the lanky form of Poe Dameron walks into the room. "Ben Solo was a whiny brat. No one could stand him."

 

"Not even my parents," Ben agrees calmly. "I was a handful." _You won't make me angry, Poe. Not like Mother. I've already made that mistake today._

 

"You tortured me, Ren."

 

"Solo. And you're right. I did."

 

"You said Ben Solo was dead. That you were just Kylo Ren now."

 

"I said a lot of things, Dameron. Some of them were even true. Turns out that wasn't one of them. Believe me I'm as surprised as you are."

 

"I don't know what sort of Sith spell you cast on Rey, but I'm not going to let my guard down, _Ren_. I can't. We're all that's left of the Resistance now. If we go, then the First Order wins."

 

"If I wanted you dead, Dameron ..." The old anger was there, but he refused to master it now. "I know that you're my Mother's favorite right now, but believe me. I have no desire in destroying the Resistance anymore."

 

"Poe, stop being mean. Are you trying to make him our enemy? Don't we have enough of those already?" Rose glared at the pilot.

 

"He's always been our enemy, Rose. I've seen him kill people. Good people. I won't pretend that didn't happen or that he deserves forgiveness."

 

"You're right, Dameron. I've done terrible things. I could spend the rest of the night confessing my sins and I would barely scratch the surface of the evil that I've done. I can't make up for the things I've done. I can't change the past. I don't deserve forgiveness. I don't deserve Rey. But I can _try_ to be a better person. I can try to be a good man. I don't expect your friendship or forgiveness, Dameron. I'm not asking for it because there's no way that's possible."

 

"Damn straight."

 

"Poe, he's one of the most powerful Force users in history. With him on our side- with him working with Rey, we may actually win." Rose took another drink. "Or at least survive."

 

"Or maybe he's here just to prevent Rey from becoming strong enough to be a threat to him. Or to convert her to his side and soon as he does that, he's slaughter us all ..."

 

Ben can't stop himself. He laughs at that. "You've met Rey, right? Do you think any power in the universe can change her mind about _anything_? She will _never_ join the First Order even if the rest of you are burnt to a crisp. She will _never_ _fall_ to the Dark Side. That's just not who she is."

 

"She wouldn't go to you so you came to her." Rose smiles at him. "That's kind of sweet."

 

"That's scary," Poe corrects her. "Let's say for the sake of argument that this change of yours is legitimate … let's say that you became Ben Solo again to be with Rey. Let's say you even fight with the Resistance now. I have one question for you … Kylo Ren or Ben Solo or whoever you are now."

 

"Yes?" He finishes his cup of _klah_ and waits.

 

"What if Rey dies? Who do you become if the woman you love- and yeah, I believe you do love Rey however much someone like _you_ can love- what happens if she _dies?"_

 

The world goes black for Ben Solo. For a second- a moment- he imagines a galaxy without Rey in it. He pictures the gaping loneliness that would consume him. "I'd stay Ben Solo." He got up. "Because that's who Rey would want me to be." And he smiles. "And because that's who I _choose_ to be ."

 

Poe looks into his eyes for a moment longer, then he looks away.

 

Ben turns to leave, but Rose grabs his hand. "Don't go yet, Ben. Please."

 

She's the first person who touched him other than Rey in Force knows how long. Her hand is like Rey's in a way; small, but strong. Callused from her work. And also like Rey's … welcoming. "Yes?"

 

"I'm sure we have something in your size." She dives into some of the Resistance supplies and pulls out a folded uniform. "Maybe if you don't walk around looking like Kylo Ren, people won't treat you like him." She gave him an encouraging smile. "You want to do the right thing, Ben Solo. That makes you one of us. One of the Resistance. It's time you look the part."

 

Poe looks at him for a moment. "Take it... Solo."

 

Ben smiles at Rose and nods at Dameron. Then, carefully- oh so carefully- he reaches out with the Force and causes the uniform to float over to him. "Thank you both."

 

"You're welcome," Rose said with a gleeful smile, delighted at having seen him use the Force at last.

 

 _That wasn't horrible,_ Ben told himself. "If you see Rey, tell her I went for a walk outside. I should be back in half an hour at most."

 

"All right," Dameron says with a nod.

 

"Be careful!" Rose warns him. "The magma pits are awfully close!"

 

"I know. I'll be careful." He makes the promise, oddly certain the engineer is genuinely worried about his safety. He waves to them both and makes his way outside.

 

He lets the Force guide him to the spot. Even after … whatever Rey and he had done to change things, the Dark Side was strong here in this place. Perhaps it was where Obi-Wan Kenobi defeated Anakin Solo. Maybe some other terrible thing happened here- for Mustafar was long a part of Sith history- but it felt like this was the place to be when he did this act.

 

He takes off the robes of Kylo Ren and puts on the uniform of the resistance. It feels strange- strangely constricting after all this time of wearing robes and loose clothing- but also it gives him a feeling of peace. As if he was shedding an old skin to become newer, something cleaner.

 

Steeling himself, he opens his travel bag and takes out the charred helmet of Darth Vader. He looks at it for a moment. _Do I have the strength to do this alone? I_ _ **have**_ _to do this alone. Rey can't always protect me._

 

And then he wraps the clothing of Kylo Ren around the helmet of Darth Vader.

 

"Grandfather … I've been at war with myself since the day I was born. There's too much Dark Side- too much you in me- to be a Jedi. And there was too much Light- perhaps from you as well- to be a Sith. I accept responsibility for everything I did. I want to do the right things- I want to be a good man even though I don't think I can be a Jedi. I'm Ben Solo again- not the Ben that I was before- I hope I'm wiser now. I _want_ to be a better one. Help me if you can, Grandfather. But even if you won't- even if you can't- I won't walk a path of murder and destruction. Not any more."

 

He could use the Force for this, but he doesn't. Instead with all his strength- all his human strength- he hurls the bundle into the magma.

 

The robes of Kylo Ren burn off immediately leaving the helmet of Darth Vader. And slowly... oh so slowly, almost as though it were fighting to survive … it sinks into the magma.

 

"Well done, Ben. I'm proud of you."

 

It's not his grandfather. Not Anakin Skywalker or Darth Vader. It's not a man at all.

 

It's a woman.

 

"Mother …?" This woman is so much like his mother- slender, dark haired … but with echoes of Rey's strength of will and character as well. "No. You're … ?"

 

"Padme Amidala. Your grandmother, Ben." She nods her head slightly. "And yes, it does seem as though the men in our family have a type."

 

"I didn't know you were Force sensitive."

 

"I wasn't."

 

"Then how are you here?"

 

"You, Ben. Your decision … your power … it brought me here to see you. I took my mortal wound on this world. My heart broke when Anakin made his choice to become Darth Vader. And when he seemed to die … I just didn't have the strength no matter how much I loved my children … to stay." She smiles at him. "And maybe your subconscious- or the Force itself- decided that I deserved to see someone with Skywalker blood make a difference choice here."

 

"Grandmother …" He frowns. "It feels strange to call you that when you look nearly the same age that I do."

 

She laughs. "If it makes you feel better you can call me Padme, Ben."

 

"Padme... if it makes you happy, I am pleased to see you here."

 

"Why didn't you ask Rey to be with you? I know she would have been proud of you."

 

"I ..." He tries to formulate a reply. "I wasn't doing it to make Rey proud of me. I don't want her to think that I need her to prop me up. I don't want her feeling responsible for the choices that I make, good or bad. I want … I want to be just as strong for her as she is for me."

 

"You are, Ben. You are." The spirit of Padme shimmers for a moment. "The Darkness of your deeds will be with you always, Ben, but so will the Light of the things you do now. Remember- you chose the Dark Side once, but you did something that few Jedi in history have ever been able to do: you _came back._ I may not have the right to say it, Ben, but I am very proud of you for that." And then … when she was just a shadow. "And your mother … never forget that in spite of anything that she might do or say, your mother loves you very much. Goodbye, Ben. I love you."

 

"Goodbye, Padme. I love you too."

 

He took one last look at the burning lava, and then headed back to Rey.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Rose Tico. I feel like if there's anyone in the Resistance at this point who could be friendly towards Ben it's definitely Rose. (Klah comes from another fandom. Didn't want to use coffee and I had no idea what the Star Wars equivalent would be.)*
> 
> *I did not know when this was originally written. Now I know it's called "caf." I would still rather have "klah" than "caf" as my SF drink of choice. :D


	13. Echoes of Abandonment Past

Rey is awake when he gets back. She's fully dressed, sitting on the bed, with her back leaning against the wall. Wicket is held tightly in her hands.

 

She has dampened their bond. It's the first time she's done that since they met on Mustafar.

 

"Rey?" he asks gently.

 

"You're wearing different clothes."

 

"Yes. Rose gave them to me."

 

"Oh that's nice. Did she help you put them on?" She'd sounded more friendly when she had faced him down in their first light saber duel.

 

"Rey, you're upset?" It took him a moment to think of the possible cause. "Rey, are you _jealous?"_

 

"My betrothed comes back wearing different clothes and tells me another woman dressed him. Why would I be jealous." As tightly as she's holding Wicket, if the poor toy had been a living creatures bones would be snapping by now.

 

"Rey, you know better than that. She just _gave_ me the clothes. No girl- no matter how pretty she is- is ever going to mean as much to me as you do." He sits down on the beside her.

 

She glares at him. "So you think she's prettier than me?"

 

"That's not what I meant and you know it." He takes one of her hands in his own. "Rey, what's wrong? You're not really jealous are you?"

 

"No. Yes." She sighs and lies her head on his shoulder. "Maybe. I don't know. I told you I was selfish. I'm just not good at sharing you yet."

 

"I don't think you'll have to worry about it. It's not like there are going to be a lot of people out there dying to be my friend." He kisses her forehead. "Rey, love … you're muting the bond. What is it? I promise I won't destroy anything if you tell me."

 

"It's just … I woke up and you were gone." She pauses. "And so was your travel bag."

 

"I told you I'd be right back."

 

"That's what my parents said."

 

"Oh, love..." He kisses her forehead again. "I'm sorry."

 

"No. It's not your fault. I'm just overreacting. It was bad timing. I was dreaming about them when I woke up. About being left behind … and then I saw your bag was gone ..."

 

"I'm sorry."

 

And then the indomitable Rey begins to cry. "It's so stupid, Ben. I'm surrounded by people who care about me now. I have you, Finn, Chewie-" and she pauses for a moment "even your mother. Why does it still hurt so bad knowing they _sold_ me? Why does it hurt so bad that they left me behind?" She looked him in the eye. "What's so _wrong_ with me that they could just _abandon_ me? Why didn't they love me? Why didn't they love me, Ben?"

 

"I don't know, Rey. I really don't." He kisses her forehead, then her eyes and mouth. "But I do know this- there's _nothing_ wrong with you except-" He paused.

 

"Except what?" She glares at him again, smiling through her tears.

 

"Your questionable taste in men, of course."

 

"Hey, don't talk badly about my betrothed! He's a pretty decent guy. Sometimes." She kissed him. "When he's not trying to take over the galaxy."

 

"I haven't tried to take over the galaxy in days now."

 

"Maybe we should get you a motivational sign. 'It has been X days since Ben Solo tried to conquer the galaxy.'"

 

"I'm sure Dameron would love that."

 

"The two of you don't get along."

 

"Your Jedi perceptual skills are growing stronger."

 

"Why?"

 

"Aside from the fact that I tortured him and committed mass murder in his presence?"

 

"Aside from that." She touches his face, silently promising him that he was a different man now than the one that Poe had met on Jakku.

 

"He reminds me too much of my father."

 

"Oh." She sighs and then wraps her arms around him. "I love you, Ben. You know that, right?"

 

"Yes. Yes I do." The ghost of a smile crosses his face. "It's the Solo charm. Women can't resist it."

 

"Do you want to wind up sleeping on the floor the rest of the night, Mr. Irresistible Solo?"

 

"That depends."

 

"On what?" she asks.

 

"If you're there with me or not."

 

"Can you snuggle better than Wicket?"

 

"He _is_ pretty good at it," Ben admits. "But I have one thing that Wicket doesn't have..."

 

"Oh? What's that?" Rey asks with a smirk.

 

"The most amazing woman in the universe in my arms."

 

"Sorry, Wicket. He won himself a reprieve with that." She carefully places the Stuffed Ewok on the bed and wraps her arms around Ben Solo's neck. Kissing him, she pulls him down towards the floor.

 

"The floor could be cold," he warns her, feeling a by-now familiar heat rising in himself. "And hard."

 

"I slept inside an AT-AT for over ten years. I think I can handle it. How about you?" And she smirks as she begins removing her clothing.

 

"I'll try my best to keep you warm."

 

And then they continued their conversation without words.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, young love.


	14. Council of War

Morning comes as it always does, and they make their way back to the med-center where most of the Resistance has gathered for breakfast. As usual, most of them start to leave as soon as Ben shows up.

 

"No," Poe says. "We can't keep doing that. I know it's hard to trust him-"

 

"He's the Supreme Leader!" Brea Darklighter growls. Like Poe, she was a pilot … when she had a ship to fly. She glares at Ben. "Do you ever know how many people you've killed? How many of our friends are dead because of you? How do you expect us to trust him now? Just looking at him makes me want to throw up."

 

Rey's eyes narrow in anger. "Because we need him. We're out of options. No one is coming to help us. No one is going to come to save us. Without Ben, you'd all be dead right now."

 

"You would say that," Brea snarls. "Rey the Jedi, the hope of the Resistance … and the only thing she's been doing since we got here is screw the socks off of Kylo Ren!"

 

Finn glares at her and takes a step towards her, but Rose puts a hand on his arm.

 

"Shut up, Brea." Rey is trembling now. "Just shut up."

 

Ben lays a hand on Rey's shoulder. "My name is Ben Solo. Yes. I have killed more people than any of you can possibly imagine. You have two choices though: accept my help and live- or go on your own and die."

 

 _"Not in the Falcon,"_ Chewbacca growls.

 

"That's enough!" Poe slams his hand on the breakfast table. There's gray in his hair now that wasn't there a few days ago. "We don't have the luxury of being picky about our allies, Brea. Solo is with us now. We accept him or we die. Frankly, he's worth more to me than you are. If you can't do anything else, stay quiet."

 

Brea glares at Poe but then turns her back on them.

 

"Rey," Poe says gently, trying to break the tension. "Do you have any ideas? Any place where we can go? Did Luke tell you anything that might be useful now? I'm racking my brain for ideas right now."

 

"I don't know," Rey says softly. "He didn't make any suggestions to me. Chewie? Do you have any ideas?"

 

 _"We could go to Tataooine,"_ the Wookie offers. " _There's no help there, but no one will turn us in at Mos Eisley."_

 

"If Leia was better I'm sure that she'd have an idea of where we could go," Poe murmurs more to himself than anyone else. "Rose? You and Finn have been doing something with Leia in the med-center. Did she give you any ideas? Should we ask her anything?"

 

"No, nothing about where we should go next." Rose casts an uneasy glance at Ben as she speaks.

 

"We're trapped here anyway until Leia can be moved," Poe says with a glance at Ben. "Solo, your ship? How many can it hold?"

 

"Myself and another," Ben admits.

 

"So the Jedi and her boyfriend can rocket out of here anytime they want," Brea growls. "Meanwhile the rest of us are trapped unless Chewbacca agrees to take us anywhere."

 

"I won't leave you!" Rey screams. "I have _always_ chosen the Resistance-" her voice drops to a whisper. "Even when it broke my heart, I chose the Resistance." Her eyes find Ben and are filled with memories. Through the bond he can sense how truly tempted she had been to stay with him that day aboard Snoke's ship …

 

 _I'm glad you didn't,_ he told her through the bond. _This is better. Even if we don't make it- even if Hux destroys us- these moments with you make it all worth it._ _Staying would have destroyed you- and that would have destroyed me._

 

 _Black really isn't my color,_ she says with a mental smile.

 

 _But just in case something happens to me-_ and he sends her the access codes she would need to gain control of his ship.

 

_You know I would never leave without you._

 

_Just in case._

 

 

_There is no situation where I am leaving you behind again, Ben Solo._

 

_You're a stubborn woman._

 

_That's why you're going to marry me. Ben this did not happen-_ _**we** _ _did not happen for one of us to die. We're going to make it through this war. We're going to win- and we're going to grow old together. I won't settle for less._

 

_All right. We'll just have to find a way to survive._

 

Ben clears his throat. "There is one place we might go to." He's reluctant to say anything. He wears Resistance clothing but knows they don't consider him one of them. Not yet. Probably not ever. "One place we might sanctuary- even help. Cloud City."

 

"Cloud City? On Bespin? It's still around?"

 

"Yes. The First Order has had no reason to destroy it or take it over. Lando Calrissian won back control of the city in the last days of the New Republic."

 

"Lando Calrissian? He was a member of the Rebellion! A General! He destroyed the second Death Star!" Rose babbles. "How is he still in charge? I would have thought the First Order would have killed him ..."

 

She glances at Ben.

 

"I convinced Supreme Leader Snoke Calrissian's death would cause more harm than good. That a live Calrissian who worked under was better than a dead martyr." He can still remember the look that Lando had given him the last time they had met … a look that had taught Kylo Ren that was still capable of feeling guilt … and shame.

 

Rey squeezes his hand. "Do you think he'll help us?"

 

"For me? Not likely. For Mo- General Organa, I'm sure of it. He can probably put you in contact with anyone who's left from the original Rebellion. That gives you a chance to rebuild your Resistance."

 

"That … could work." Poe begins to smile. "We should talk to Leia about it. Come on, guys."

 

Rey takes a step forward.

 

"I meant you too, Solo." Poe smiles at him gently. "It's your idea. You should be the one to explain it to your mother."

 

"Um... there might be a problem." Rose suddenly finds herself staring at the floor as all eyes come to rest on her.

 

"What do you mean?" Poe asks.

 

"General Organa. She said … she said ..." and Rose looks up, her eyes filled with sympathy. "She said that Poe and Rey could visit her anytime at all. But that Ben ..."

 

"Yes?" Ben prompts gently.

 

"She said that she will not see you, Ben. Under no circumstances will she see you again."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leia does have a reason which will become apparent later.


	15. The General

"If Ben isn't welcome, neither am I. Poe can talk to her. I don't want to." She takes Ben's hand- _her_ Ben's hand and starts to walk away.

 

"Wait, Rey." It's Ben because of course it is. The idiot. "You can't."

 

"Didn't we already have this conversation about you telling me what I can and can't do?" She's furious- _at_ him and _for_ him.

 

"You're part of the Resistance. You need to know what's going on in case-" he pauses. "In case something happens to mother- and Poe." _When did Dameron become Poe to me?_ He wondered fleetingly. "You're their Jedi. They look to you for leadership."

 

"I'm not _their_ Jedi. I'm _your_ Rey." She kisses him in front of everyone with all the love she has. "I won't let anyone treat you like you don't matter, Ben. I _won't._ "

 

"Rey, it's all right. I have some things to take care of while you talk to Moth- General Organa. I'll see you soon." And he kisses her again.

 

"Oh," Rose whispers. "Oh my."

 

Finn watches his best friend kiss another guy while his- _girlfriend? Is that Rose is to him now?_ \- looks on with obvious excitement. "He's not _that_ great a kisser."

 

"Are you sure, Finn?" Ben asks him with a smirk on his face. "I mean, would you like a sample just to judge?"

 

Finn blushes.

 

"Walked right into that one, didn't you?" Rose asks him with a smirk. She kisses him shyly on the lips. "For what it's worth, _I_ think _you're_ a great kisser too."

 

"Hey now! I didn't give you permission to give out your kisses to anyone but me!" Rey smiles playfully at Ben. "All right. I'll go." She mutes the bond to prevent Ben from hearing anything painful his mother might say about him. "Love you."

 

"Love you too."

 

"I'm never going to get tired of hearing that," she whispers into his ear as she nods to Poe. "Let's go."

 

"I'm never going to get tired of saying it," Ben says with a smile. "Rose- Finn- if you two are free, I could use your help with something."

 

"We'd be happy to help!" Rose agreed enthusiastically before Finn had a chance to disagree.

 

 

 

**..**..**

 

 

There's some canopy over Leia now that obscures everything but her head. She looks at them as though she expected them to show up. "Yes?"

 

"We need to discuss our plans," Poe begins. "Ben" - _when did he become Ben to me?- "_ thought that we might get some assistance in Cloud City."

 

"Lando," Leia murmurs, old memories in her eyes. "Yes. I think Lando would help us." She sighs. "It took years for the Rebellion to defeat the Empire. I suppose it was foolish of me to hope that other worlds would flock to our call when we needed them. We're going to have to build from the ground up."

 

Poe nods. "We can do it."

 

"We can. But I had hoped we wouldn't have to." Leia sighs and closes her eyes. "All right. Here's what we'll do-"

 

And Leia then begins giving them directions. Rey soon loses track of what she's saying, but Poe jots down notes, asks questions, and keeps focused. She tries to pay attention, but her anger over Ben's treatment gets in the way.

 

"Is it cold in here or is just me?" Poe asks after half an hour of frosty silence from Rey. Leia's responses have been flat and monotone as well.

 

"I imagine the chill you are feeling is Rey's displeasure with my decision to bar Ben from contacting me."

 

"How can you do that to him?! He's your _son_! Don't you know what he went through to come back to us? And one of the people who he needs the most is just turning her back on him?"

 

"I'll just step outside and start talking to the others. We should be ready to leave soon. The First Order will find us sooner or later." _And I am not wanting to be here for the rest of this argument._

 

 _"_ That will be fine, Poe." Leia waits until he leaves. "It's necessary, Rey."

 

"Necessary? How is _this_ necessary?"

 

"You don't need to know."

 

"Force! Now I'm beginning to see where Ben gets his stubbornness from!"

 

"Rey … rebellions are built on hope … and hope is built on trust. I have a reason for why I'm doing this. I can't tell you because sooner or later Ben will learn of it through your bond. I'm sorry- I really am. But I can't tell you. I can't tell Ben."

 

Rey stares at her for a moment. "You're always been so kind... so supportive. You hugged a girl you didn't know to console _her_ for Han's death. Why can't you extend that kind of compassion to your own son? Why does _Ben_ have to be the one you push away?"

 

"I don't owe you an explanation for how I treat my son." Leia closes her eyes. "Now go."

 

"Did you treat him like this- like one of your soldiers?" Rey stares at her.

 

"Rey. Last time. Go. That's an order."

 

"All right. I'm going." She turns and walks away from the women who had become something like a mother to her, her rage practically steaming off her.

 

"I'm sorry, Rey," Leia whispers as she goes. "But I can't tell you. Too much depends on it."

 

"Because secrecy worked so well for you before when you kept the secret of your parentage from Ben." Rey hates herself for the bite in her voice, but she can't _stop_ herself.

 

She goes.

 

..**..

 

Outside there is bedlam. The Resistance is scrambling. Poe is shouting orders.

 

Rose runs to her. Her face is dirty, with scratches on it. She's breathing so hard that she can't speak for a moment. "Rey! Rey! We've got to help them!"

 

"What? Rose, what's wrong? Where are Ben and Finn? Rose, where are _they?_ "

 

"They found him! Ben told Finn and me to run and get help, but Finn wouldn't leave him. They found him, Rey! They found Ben!"

 

"The First Order?"

 

"The Knights of Ren! They found Ben!"

 

And with a sudden terrifying stab of fear, Rey looked down at her belt and saw the light saber clipped to it:

 

Ben's light saber.

 

Ben was facing the Knights of Ren without his light saber.


	16. The Knights of Ren

Finn would definitely prefer to stay the hell away from him, Ben notes with a wry amusement.

 

Rose has other ideas.

 

Where Finn would have only walked close enough to be able to hear him speak, Rose pulls Finn with her to stand at his side. She asks him question after question- not about his family because it seems like she knows that will hurt him- she asks him about Rey. How they met (an awkward conversation with Finn standing right there). She asks him about the technology of the First Order, how his light saber works, about his ship's engines … and then asks him a question he did not expect:

 

"When did you know you were in love with Rey?"

 

That's an easy one. "I realized that I couldn't live without her, and that no price was too high to pay if I could hold her in my arms even if only for a day."

 

"You tortured her. Tore into her mind." Finn says it quietly.

 

"I did."

 

"You nearly killed me."

 

"I did."

 

"You've murdered- Force knows how many people. You killed your own father. You killed Han Solo."

 

"I did."

 

"How can you say you love Rey? How can you love _anyone_?"

 

"Finn-" Rose says gently. The look that she gives Ben, however, is full of a sympathy that he knows that he doesn't deserve. "This isn't going to solve anything."

 

"You know Rey." He stares into the other man's eyes and sees the echo of something that hasn't quiet died yet. "You know how easy it is to love her."

 

Finn says nothing for a moment. Rose holds his hand with no jealousy in her eyes, only support. "How can she love you? Of all people, how can she love you?"

 

"Beats the kriff out of me." Ben shrugs. He wants to laugh. He wants to cry. "What do you want me to say, Finn? I don't deserve her. I don't deserve her forgiveness. I've had the same confrontation with Poe" - _yes, he's definitely Poe now_ -"and something similar with Mother. I don't deserve forgiveness. I'm not worthy of anyone's love, least of all Rey's. I was a monster, and part of me always will be. You have no idea what it's like to have done the things that I did. I pray to the Force that you never have to find out what it feels like. But Rey loves me.

 

"I'm not sure of anything else. But I'm sure of that."

 

"You want to know the thing that surprises the kriff out of me... kriff, I don't even know what to call you. You're not Kylo Ren anymore. Even I can see that. But to call you Solo..."

 

"Ben," he says gently. "Call me Ben."

 

After a moment, Finn nods. "I don't hate you, Ben. That's the thing that surprises the kriff out of me. I look at the man who terrified me for years. I'm looking at a mass murderer. But you're not that guy- you have a sense of humor. You're head over in heels with Rey and you make her happy. It's like you're two different people. How the hell did you become Kylo Ren, Ben … and why does it make me so damn sad that you did? I HATE the First Order. I hate what they did to me. What they've done to the Galaxy. You're kriffin' leader of the First Order- I should despise you, but I'm looking at you and all I keep thinking is wondering why I can't make myself hate you."

 

"Because you're a good man, Finn." _As I'm not._ "Hatred will destroy you. Don't let it. Don't let the First Order win by letting them make you into something you're not."

 

"Rose said we're going to win by protecting what we love." Finn reaches his hand out to Ben. The hand is shaking, but it's there. "I don't want to let hate win, Ben."

 

Ben's surprised at how much his own hand is shaking, but he does it. He take's Finn.

 

Finn clasps it tightly. He smiles. "Welcome to the Resistance, Ben … Solo."

 

_So this is friendship._

 

"Finn?" he finally says, his voice harsh with hidden emotion.

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Don't let Rose go. Don't ever let her go. Even for a moment."

 

"I won't," Finn promises. "I won't."

..**..

 

Ben had parked his ship away from the _Falcon_. It was a black, wicked thing, much like him... his _old_ self. "She's got enough fuel left to get to Bespin if necessary, but there's a modification I want to make. Just in case. I want a manual override to the hyperspeed safety protocols."

 

"That won't be easy," Rose says with a frown. "Those are virtually hardware. Why do you want … oh, Ben. _No._ "

 

"Just in case," Ben told her. "Just in case."

 

"Wait a minute. The protocols keep the hyperdrive from being engaged inside of a landing bay," Finn muses, puzzled by their conversation. "Why would you want … oh." Terrified understanding dawns in his eyes. "Ben, _no._ "

 

"Believe me, I hope I don't have to use it, but I just need the option. To keep Rey safe." And then with a sudden understanding that surprises even himself. "To keep you _all_ safe."

 

"Ben," Rose says gently. "Rey doesn't need you to be a martyr. We don't need for you to die- for your sins or our lives."

 

"I'll try not to." The compassion of these people- this woman- continues to astound him. How did such empathy survive in a Galaxy that permitted men like him- _the old me_ \- to exist? "But let's get this done."

 

They work on the ship for about half an hour. Ben and Finn are more familiar with First Order technology, but Rose is truly the most gifted among them in engineering, in jury rigging solutions that should not exist. They're finishing up when Ben feels a shadow cross his heart even before the sound of ion engines reaches their ears.

 

"Rose, Finn, _run._ "

 

To their credit, neither of them stop to ask questions. They dive out of the ship with Ben right at their heels.

 

The black First Order fighters swarm out of the sky like angry hornets. Ben barely has to reach out through the Force to feel the signatures of the people within them."The Knights of Ren," he breathes. "They found me."

 

The first of the ships blasts Ben's ship …with pinpoint accuracy he notes that it's been disabled rather than destroyed. It won't go anywhere now.

 

"Finn, Rose, get back to the others. I'll keep them busy- try to give the Resistance time to escape. Tell Rey I'm sorry and that I love her."

 

"Ben-" Rose begins.

 

"Go! Now!" He faces the ships. Three ships, four Knights. Sheeva. The twins Kastur and Polax. And lastly … Minas.

 

Not all of the Knights, thankfully. Sheeva had always wanted to be master. Kastur and Polax were fanatics who would never forgive Ben's betrayal. Minas … Minas was powerful, but thrived more on causing torment than seeking REAL power.

 

Kylo Ren had been wary of Sheeva. He had found the twins limited, but useful. Minas he had been outright contemptuous of . But now that he was Ben Solo once more …

 

He feared Minas most of all.

 

Finn and Rose make a run for it. Sheeva's fighter whirls and fires at them.

 

Desperately, Ben reaches into the Force and _grabs_ the ship's blaster bolts and sends them hurling back at Sheeva's ship. It begins spinning rapidly as the Knight of Ren fights to regain control.

 

Ben gathers his strength and then thrusts his challenge through the wreckage of the link they had once shared when he ruled the Knights of Ren. _They are nothing. If you have come to kill me, then come down and kill me like true Knights of Ren!_ A blast of mental laughter, directly aimed at their leader. _Or are you too afraid of me to_ _ **earn**_ _your power, Sheeva?_

 

In response, the ships came in for a landing … Sheeva's awkwardly so. The ships opened and the four Knights of Ren came out to face him.

 

Out of the corner of his eye, he could Rose running for safety. _Where's Finn?_

 

Sheeva is a tall figure of a woman with a magenta light saber that whistles and hums through the air. "Hello, you who used to be Kylo, Master of the Knights of Ren."

 

"Sheeva." He reaches at his belt for his own light saber … which he belatedly realizes Rey still has. _This could be a problem._

 

Kastur is the taller twin with a blazing orange light saber. Polax's is a lighter weapon so pale a red that it's almost pink and he's nearly as short as Rey. He's blindingly fast while Kastur is a virtual tower of power. The two of them are a deadly combination, working as one even as Rey and Ben had done when facing the Praetorian Guard.

 

"Did you really think you could hide your betrayal, Kylo Ren?" Polax asks in his boyish voice.

 

"I felt it the moment you chose to go back into the Light," Minas did not carry a light saber. He wielded a dangerous black staff capable of turning aside any laser blade though Minas seldom had cause to engage in _physical_ combat.

 

"We did not interfere when you killed Snoke," Kastur rumbles. "It is in the nature of the Dark to seek power … even at the cost of the lives of our leaders. But to leave it all behind … to renounce everything you were for a slip of a _girl_ … there can be no forgiveness for that, Kylo Ren."

 

"You're too late to kill Kylo Ren," he tells them. "My name is Ben Solo."

 

The declaration seems to enrage Kastur and Polax. Kastur lumbers towards him like a charging bantha. Polax leaps lightly onto his brother's back and then off him towards Ben. He's expecting Ben to try to dodge.

 

Ben _catches_ him instead, wrapping the Force around the boyish Knight like tentacles of energy. Cracking like a whip he hurls Polax back to his brother.

 

"Polax!" Kastur rumbles as he reaches out to catch his brother, reinforcing his already prodigious strength with the power of the Force.

 

"You love your brother, Kastur," Ben says gently. "There's still Light in you too."

 

"Liar!" Kastur resumes his charge towards Ben.

 

This time Ben dodges. He knows that Kastur wraps the Force around himself like a battering ram and anything but a physical attack would shatter against the armor of Kastur's might.

 

Polax shakes the surprise and pain off and reignites his light saber.

 

Sheeva stands watching, her light saber ready. Minas looms behind her.

 

"We followed you!" Polax roars at Ben in childish rage. "We served you! We took your side against Master Luke. We fought at your side! You left us! How could you leave us?! How could you abandon us?!"

 

Ben pushes the rush of guilt from Polax's words aside that hurts him more than any light saber ever could. "I was wrong, Polax. I'm sorry if I led you down this path, but you still have the chance to walk away from it. I don't want to kill you."

 

"We want to kill you!" Kastur lashed out with that heavy blood blade of his and Ben nearly lost his foot before he desperately jumped back. Lava bursts through the opening in the ground that Kastur had made as though the world itself is bleeding.

 

"Surely you don't think the Knights of Ren will follow you into the Light, Ben Solo?" Sheeva asks. She discards her helmet, revealing bone-white skin, blazing red hair, and the golden eyes of one who is fully committed to the Dark Side. "I am one with the Dark Side. The others will be soon. With your death we will be complete and the Knights of Ren will conquer BOTH the Resistance and the First Order. Our hour- _my_ hour- has come!"

 

 _I failed them,_ Ben thinks to himself desperately. _I will fail anyone who trusts me._

 

_Minas._

 

Minas did not speak with a physical voice. He had not spoken with a physical voice since that day he nearly died from a light saber slash to his throat at the hands of a desperate Padawan. He did not have to speak to have his power felt.

 

Ben is feeling it now.

 

And then rapid fire blaster bolts strike Kastur in the chest, causing the giant Knight to fall to his knees.

 

"Brother!" Polax calls desperately.

 

Finn.

 

Finn is in the wreckage of Ben's fighter, using the ship's guns to take down the surprised Knight.

 

Ben ducks down beneath the barrage and grabs Kastur's blade before it can strike the ground.

 

Red. Blazing hot. Charged with the Dark Side.

 

He's got a light saber in his hand. And he feels alive again.

 

Minas stares at Ben's ship and strikes his staff onto the ground, his eyes glowing with the golden light of the Dark Side visible even through his helmet.

 

Finn starts screaming.

 

"Sleep!" Ben calls, sending the command to Finn while simultaneously back flipping out of Polax's sudden charge.

 

Unconscious, Finn cannot feel whatever mental hell that Minas is putting him through. It costs Ben an alley, but it saves Finn's soul. It's a fair trade.

 

"Pity. Mercy. Empathy." Sheeva laughs. "Oh, _Ben Solo._ You have fallen so _far._ "

 

"I've risen," Ben replies. _How did I do that?_

 

He had never been able to master the agility displayed by so many Force users. He was a Bantha in a glassware shop. A lumbering monster. This agility, this speed, this strength .. it was more like _Rey_ than he had ever been.

 

_The bond. We share so much …_

 

He knows after three blows that he's still stronger than Polax with a light saber. He forces the boyish Knight back, back … smashing through his desperate attempts to block Ben's attack. "Master!" Polax wails. "Don't! I will serve you-"

 

And then he dies, Sheeva's blade piercing his heart. "We can't have another betrayal, Polax."

 

Ben stares into those golden eyes. Kylo had always envied Sheeva's easy access to the Dark Side. The way she was able to so completely call upon that power without doubt, without guilt...

 

"Your numbers are dwindling, Sheeva." He circles her warily as Sheeva begins moving about him, something almost serpent-like in the way she moves.

 

"Minas and I are all that's needed, Ben Solo." She smiles seductively at him. "You've had the girl. I can smell her on you. Feel it through the Force. She's chained you, tamed the beast. A captivity so sweet you don't even know you're a prisoner. How does it feel, _Kylo?_ Is the bed of your little scavenger so warm that it consoles you for all you've lost?"

 

"Why, Sheeva. You're almost sounding jealous." He does not charge. He waits for her.

 

_You know you don't deserve the girl._

 

Minas, speaking with his own voice. With Ben's own fears.

 

_She will die from loving you like so many others have died._

 

The icy cold knot of fear wraps around his heart.

 

And Sheeva charges.

 

He barely raises his blade in time to deflect the attack.

 

_So many deaths. So much blood. You have created an ocean of blood from your victims, Ben Solo. Your guilt is the chain that will drag you down._

 

He falls back, stumbles back, leaps back to his feet just in time to ward off a killing blow.

 

_You think your grandfather and you are the only Sith to ever try to go back to the light? We all feel the call to the Light, Ben Solo. Even Palpatine felt a shred of affection and support for his apprentice Darth Vader. Here is the great secret of the Sith known only to a few: Sith do not go back to the light because it_ _**kills** _ _them._

 

Sheeva fights, growing ever more angry that she hasn't won yet. "Why won't you die?!"

 

He kicks back against the despair that's drowning him and shears Sheeva's right hand from her wrist. "Because I have someone to live for!"

 

Sheeva's screams in pain and fear and falls to her knees.

 

Ben turns to face Minas. He takes a step forward.

 

Is that fear he sees in the eyes of the silent Knight? Minas raises his staff and slams it down again.

 

And Mustafar disappears.

 

He's in a desert, as desolate as any on Jakku or Tatooine. He's alone … and then he's not.

 

Men. Women. Children. They look at him with silent, accusing eyes. They surround him. As far as he can see, there are more people looking at him with those eyes.

 

_Your victims, Ben Solo. So many victims. So much blood that you've shed. Do you think a good man, someone dedicated to the Light, can bear the weight of so much death? That is why Sith die when they go to the Light. Palpatine did not kill Darth Vader; the soul of Anakin Skywalker did. You will die, Ben Solo. You will die, and you know that you should die. Isn't that what you really want? To atone for the evil that you've done in the only way that matters?_

 

Kastur's light saber falls from his hand. He falls to his knees. _I can't. I just can't live with this. I'm sorry, Rey. I'm so sorry … I can't do this alone ..._

 

Sheeva picks up her fall light saber and stumbles towards him. "Yes. Yes. This is how it was meant to be, Ben Solo. Your death and my power!" She raises the light saber for a killing blow.

 

And an energy bolt strikes Minas full in the chest, causing the Silent Knight to fall flat on his back.

 

 _"Get away from my boy!"_ Chewbacca roars. He's running forward as though he was a young Wookie again. _"Get away from my son!"_

 

"No! I won't be stopped now!" Sheeva swings her blade down-

 

And Rey blocks it with Ben's own blood red blade. "Get away from my husband!" There is fury on her face and death in her eyes.

 

"Foolish child! You are nothing!" Sheeva tries to mount a counterattack, but the sheer savagery Rey displays rivals Kylo Ren at his most dangerous. There is no attempt at skill or grace- she's hacking as though she means to chop Sheeva into pieces.

 

And even when she's doing that, she's calling out desperately to Ben. _It's not true, Ben! You're not a monster! You're not alone! Can't you see we're with you?! Look!_

 

And he looks.

 

Chewbacca is there, angling for a shot at Sheeva. Poe and Rose are there, racing forward on legs that are not powered by Wookie muscle or Force energy. Other members of the Resistance are running towards them- towards him...

 

"Get away from him!" Brea Darklighter shouts. "He's one of us now!"

 

He's not alone.

 

The guilt and despair try to hold him down, try to drown him, but Ben Solo grabs onto the Light- onto Chewie, Rey, Rose, Finn, Poe- even Brea Darklighter- and he _pulls_ himself forward. Pulls himself out of the Darkness one inch at a time.

 

And he _stands._

 

And as he stands, Sheeva _falls._

 

With a savagery that he would not have believed that Rey possessed, she severs Sheeva's other hand from her arm. She holds the blood red blade to the Knight's throat, close enough for the tip of the blade to burn Sheeva's throat.

 

"Mercy," the Knight of Ren croaks.

 

"Mercy?" Rey pulls the blade back. "You deserve no mercy!" And as she prepares to bring the blade down, Ben catches her wrist.

 

"No, Rey. Not like this." He looks into Sheeva's eyes. "This one time I give you you life, Sheeva Ren. Go. Take your Darkness and your hate and leave me alone. _Leave_ us alone. Lead the Knights of Ren if you want. Serve the First Order if you will. But if our paths cross again I will _end_ you."

 

Sheeva got to her feet, staring at the enemies who surrounded her.

 

"Go!" Rey says savagely, slipping a possessive arm around Ben's waist.

 

The hand-less Knight stumbled back into her ship. A few minutes later, she managed to take to the air. Controlling the ship by the Force alone would be tricky, Ben knew, but once she got the auto pilot activated she would be able to leave the system.

 

Ben stared at the wreckage of his past, the fallen members of the Knights of Ren. "We could have been so much more."

 

 _"You still can be,"_ Chewbacca said, panting heavily as he lumbered forward and wrapped his arms around Ben. _"You already are."_

 

"Why did you let her go?" Poe asks him. "She'll tell Hux where we are."

 

"She probably already has," Ben admits. "The First Order will come for us ..."

 

"We'll be ready for them," Rey declares firmly. "And we will win."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoy this chapter. This feels like one of the best fight scenes I have ever written. I made up the Knights of Ren myself, though I saw a photo of one with a staff that gave me my idea for Minas. 
> 
> And Kastur and Polax are based on the Greek mythology characters Castor and Pollux. (Apparently the author of the The Hunger Games used those names and not everyone knows the mythological connection.) :D


	17. Rey Takes Charge

They leave the Knights of Ren where they had fallen, and took Finn back to Darth Vader's castle and the med-center for medical treatment.

 

Chewie gently carries the sleeping young man in his arms while an anxious Rose and Rey walk beside him.

 

Ben is on the other side of Finn. "He'll be fine. He's just asleep. Minas attacked him, and he had the power to destroy Finn's mind. He would have been left alive, but no one would have wanted him to be. I put him to sleep to protect his mind."

 

Rose left Finn's side for a moment to give Ben a hug. "Thank you," she whispers as she kisses his cheek.

 

"He saved my life," Ben admits with a blush. "I owed him."

 

"What about the Knights?" Rey inquires.  _I'm not jealous. I'm not jealous. Rose is just a friend. It's good that Ben has friends other than me._

 

"Later, I'll drop their bodies into the lava." Ben sighs. "I think in a way they'd appreciate that given what Mustafar means to the Knights of Ren."

 

"They were your friends?" Rey squeezes his arm.

 

"I don't know that I really had friends before you, but we were … companions. They treated me better than the other students at the Academy. And they fought at my side more than once." Ben closes his eyes for a moment. "It's hard to imagine I'll never see them again."

 

"I'm just glad that I didn't lose you." Rey lays her head on his shoulder.

 

He smiles. "It won't be that easy."

 

Finn woke up when they reached the Med-center. He had a drink of water. "Man, my head hurts."

 

"You're lucky. What were you thinking? You could have been killed, Finn. That was a stupid thing to do."

 

"Says the man who told me to get the Resistance off planet while he held off four Knights of Ren without so much as a light saber. I don't think I'm the guy with a monopoly on stupidity, Ben."

 

Ben blushes and casts a nervous glance at Rey. "Uh oh?"

 

"Ben, darling, are you all right?" Rey asks, running her hands over the side of his face. "The Knights didn't hurt you, did they?" She kissed him lightly on the lips.

 

"No. I'm fine."

 

"Good. You kriffing idiot!" She slaps him so hard that even Chewbacca winces. "You kriffing idiot!" She grabs him by the shirt and begins shaking him … an absurd sight given their height difference but no one feels suicidal enough to laugh. "What were you thinking?"

 

"I didn't want of you to get hurt-" Ben begins weakly.

 

"Idiot! Four Knights of Ren, Ben! Four! And you thought I would just _abandon_ you to face them all on your own?"

 

"I admit it's not sounding as good of an idea as it did when I had it," Ben admits, rubbing his cheek.

 

"You could have been killed! We could have lost you! _I_ could have lost you! Ugh! Why did I have to fall in love with such a kriffing idiot?"

 

"My charm and good looks?" Ben offers weakly.

 

Rey glares at him. "We're getting married."

 

"Well, yes. You know I want to-"

 

"We're getting married today. Right now. Right at this moment. I am not going to give you a chance to get killed before our wedding day."

 

"We don't have a priest."

 

"We can print a standard marriage contract in the _Falcon._ It'll do for now. We can have that fancy wedding when I'm convinced you're not going to get yourself killed the moment I turn my back on you."

 

"Rey, we don't have rings. This is Mustafar. We have to evacuate before the First Order gets here. Be sensible-"

 

"Are you saying I'm being silly, Ben Solo?" There was a murderous look in her eyes.

 

"No."

 

"Smart man," Finn mutters.

 

"You! Don't think you're getting out of this either. You're Ben's best man."

 

"I am? Shouldn't he ask me?"

 

"He saved your life. He saved yours. You'll do. Won't he, Ben?" And Rey shot him another warning glance that reminded Ben uncomfortably of the Death Star.

 

"If you wouldn't mind, Finn. I'd be grateful if you'd do me the honor of being my Best Man." Ben cast an imploring look at Poe Dameron.

 

Poe shook his head as if to say, _I'm too pretty to die._

 

"Chewie. You're going to give me away." Rey's eyes went misty for a moment. "You're the father I wish I had had."

 

_"I will be honored to stand with you both."_

 

Rey hugs the Wookie. "Thank you." She reached into a pouch on her belt. "As for a ring, I've got this for you, Ben."

 

It was a large circular piece of metal … part of some equipment that Rey had salvaged long ago. Rainbows seemed to shimmer beneath the surface. "It's strong. Like we are when we're together."

 

"If you've going through with this," the voice of Leia came through over the intercom. "I've got a ring Ben can give you, Rey."

 

Rey stared rebelliously at the intercom. "I didn't say that you were invited, General. I want us to be surrounded by the people who love us at our wedding."

 

"Rey-" There's pain in the older woman's voice.

 

"Rey," Ben says gently. "Mother, is it the ring Father gave you?"

 

"Yes. It should fit Rey, and I think Han would want both of you to have it."

 

"Okay then. Thank you, Leia." Rey turned and looked at the rest of them. "Rose, you're my maid of honor. The rest of you are our guests. Let's get this done!"

 

"I can't decide if you're the luckiest man I know or if I should pity you," Poe whispers to Ben when Rey heads off with Rose to prepare.

 

"Oh, I'm the luckiest," Ben says with a fond smile. "She's the strongest, most wonderful person I know."

 

"Ben?"

 

"Yes?"

 

"I'm happy for you, you know. Not just for Rey. For you. I'm glad you're back. I missed you too." Poe gave him a quick hug. "Now let's see what we can do about getting you and Finn cleaned up before the wedding."

 

..**..

 

Finn is the one who goes into Leia's room to collect the ring. Leia will not attend the wedding, but she will watch it from the camera hookup in her room.

 

Ben says nothing, but the pain in his eyes is there for anyone to see. Chewbacca growls uncomfortably as he puts his hand on Ben's shoulder. _"I don't know why Leia is doing this, but your mother still loves you, Ben."_

 

"It's enough if she loves Rey," Ben replies.

 

Chewbacca whines a bit in sympathy.

 

"Ben, are you sure this is a good idea?" Poe asks him carefully as he brushes off the jacket he gave Ben. "You and Rey have been through a lot, I know, but the two of you barely know each. Just a few days ago you were trying to kill each other. Now you're getting _married?_ "

 

"It's different with us, Poe," Ben says with a smile. "The bond. I may not know every fact of Rey's life, but I know _her._ She isn't just the person I _want_ to be with- she's the one I was _born_ to be with." He sighs. "And this is war. Who knows when we will have another chance?"

 

Chewbacca piped in some wedding music through the Falcon's speakers as he escorted Rey to Ben. Everyone gaped when they saw her for one simple reason:

 

Rey was wearing a dress.

 

And she looked radiant.

 

"And I'm back to thinking you're the luckiest guy I know," Poe whispers into Ben's ear.

 

Ben could only nod in stupefied amazement.

 

"We found it in a storage room." Rey is slightly embarrassed to be seen in such finery.

 

"That's a Naboo wedding dress," Ben observes with a smile.

 

"You know about wedding dresses?" she asks him in surprise.

 

"When Mother was feeling particularly sadistic, she would make me learn royal protocol. Alderaan and Naboo were very close societies; that's a Naboo wedding dress."

 

"Why do you think it's here on Mustafar? Why would Darth Vader have a Naboo wedding dress?"

 

"My grandmother was from Naboo, but she died when he became Darth Vader Maybe he took her dress to remind himself of her. Maybe it's someone else's. But you look amazing in it, love."

 

"Thank you, Ben." She smiles at him. "But I am never wearing one of these things again so don't get accustomed to it. I feel ridiculous."

 

"You're beautiful," Ben said with a smile.

 

"You totally are," Finn assures her.

 

Rey smiles thankfully at both of them. "I don't know why I feel so nervous."

 

" _You're_ nervous?" Ben asks her incredulously.

 

"Yes I am," She says with a trace of her old fire. "Want to make something of it?"

 

"No?"

 

"Smart man."

 

As a third party, Poe presents the contract for them to sign. He shows them where they need to do so. Rey blushes a bit as she signs because she's had so little education and fears that her crude signature will embarrass Ben.

 

Ben signs beside her, his handwriting graceful and beautiful.

 

And that was all that had to be done.

 

As far as Galactic Law was concerned, they were married.

 

"Did you want something else, Ben? Something more?"

 

"My family never acknowledged any deities. Just our connection to the Force," Ben says as he kisses her. "This is all I need. _You're_ all I need."

 

"I didn't either. I mean … I didn't know the Force then … I didn't have anyone or anything to believe in other than one day my family would come back to me. You saw how that turned out."

 

"It turned out exactly the way you needed it to," Ben tells her with a smile as he turns her around. "You wanted a family. It came for you that day on Jakku. It wasn't the family you were expecting, but it was the family you needed."

 

Rey looks at what's left of the Resistance. There's so few of them … it seems impossible they can survive, let alone win against the First Order … even with Ben at her side. But … for this one moment, she allows herself happiness.

 

"Ladies and gentle beings of the Resistance, I have the honor of presenting to you Rey Solo. My wife." Ben holds her hand … holds _her_ … as though nothing else in the entire universe matters.

 

And Rey Solo knows without a doubt that she is loved.

 

And that's enough.

 

..**..

 

Two days later, the First Order comes for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if it's canon that Poe knew Ben as a child, but it's definitely plausible as his parents were close friends with Leia and I believe he met her at 15. I believe he's about 5 years older than Ben.
> 
>  
> 
> I thought about having them say their vows to each other, but I felt like I had covered that sufficiently in earlier fluffy threads. I admit I do adore writing TakeCharge!Rey.


	18. What's Broken Becomes Whole

"I'm sorry our honeymoon will have to be postponed, love," Ben told his wife shortly afterwards, "but Cloud City will be a nice place to spend it."

 

"What's a honeymoon?" Rey Solo (and Force did she love having a last name. Force did she love having a husband) inquiries with a puzzled frown.

 

"It's when a married couple goes off to be alone."

 

"We do that all the time."

 

"On a honeymoon you do that in some exotic location." He holds up a hand. "An exotic location that wasn't formerly the stronghold of a Sith Lord."

 

"Okay. I think I would like a honeymoon." She kisses him lightly on the lips.

 

Ben growls and then kisses her back more deeply.

 

"I thought you said we had to evacuate Mustafar," Rey says when she can breathe again.

 

"You're right. We should. When we're alone I tend to get ideas."

 

"Oh Force. I do too." Rey hugged him.

 

"Guys, I think Leia will be ready for transport in another day," Rose walks into their room with an excited expression and then closes her eyes. "Geez, you two. Get a room."

 

"This is our room," Ben points out with a smile.

 

"Right."

 

"General Organa?" Rey prompts.

 

"We have her life support system modified so it'll fit on the _Falcon_. It's clunky, but once we reach Cloud City maybe the facilities there will be of more use."

 

"Thank you, Rose," Ben says with a smile. _I do that a lot these days._

 

Rose blushes slightly.

 

 _I wish she would not blush at my husband like that,_ Rey thinks to herself. _I know they aren't flirting. I'd feel it through the Force … but still …_

 

"Do you think my personal ship will be repaired in time?"

 

"The damage wasn't horrible, and Chewie is working on it nonstop. It should be ready. Poe would like for you to come down and go over the other two Ren Fighters that we have. He wants to fly one."

 

"It's a ship he's never flown before. Of course Poe wants to fly one. He should be able to do so. You don't need the Force to pilot them; just good piloting skills." He glances over at Rey. "And Rey … there's something else I want to try today too."

 

Rose blushes again.

 

"No, nothing like _that,"_ Ben says with a glance at her. "I think we can fix your light saber now."

 

"Do we really have the time for that now? I could use one of the ones we took from the Knights." She gives him a wicked smile. "Or yours. I've getting accustomed to handling your … pointy things."

 

"You could purify one of other blades, maybe, but it'd take more time than fixing yours. If I'm right. And mine …" he smiles at her. "... that pointy thing I need to keep. I've gotten used to it and built my fighting style around it."

 

"It was your grandfather's. And Luke's. It should go to you."

 

"No. It found you or you found it. It's meant to be yours. Not mine." _I wasn't worthy of it except for the one time you gave it to me to save my life._ "I broke it-"

 

" _We_ broke it, love."

 

Now it's his turn to blush as he hears her use the same endearment that comes to him so often when he speaks to her. "Either way, I think since we both broke it, it'll take both of us to fix it."

 

"You think we can do that? I never heard of two Force users working together like that."

 

"I think we can." Ben kisses her again quickly. "I think we can do anything together- but I also think that Poe will barge right in on us if I don't help him out with the ships first."

 

"I'm having to share you more than I used to," Rey complains. "Just remember, no matter how good a kisser Poe may be, I'm better. Don't let him lead you astray."

 

"How do you know how good a kisser Poe is?"

 

Rey says nothing. Just smiles innocently at her husband.

 

She rewarded for her comments with a flush of jealousy from Ben through their bond. She couldn't help but smile a little bit. She likes these little reminders that she's the foremost thing in his thoughts.

 

_Maybe that's why we're such a good match. Another woman might be troubled by it when he gets possessive, but after all those lonely years it feels_ _**good** _ _to have someone who values me that much. I told him I was selfish where he was concerned …_

_..**.._

 

It didn't take long for Poe and Brea Darklighter to pick up the controls of the ships. Poe declared himself proud of his new ship and immediately named it _Black Beauty_. Brea didn't bother to name her ship- the one that Kastur and Polax had flown which was the larger of the two- but she was pleased with the size because it meant they could evacuate a few more people.

 

Ben's own ship had been repaired. She would never have the speed and agility that she had once possessed, but she would fly again. And that was really all that he needed of her.

 

"Does your ship have a name?" Poe asks him after he feels confident enough in his _Black Beauty_ to relax.

 

"Yes," Ben says shortly. He knows that he shouldn't have said that, but he couldn't stop himself. And of course, Poe being Poe...

 

"What is it?"

 

"I don't want to talk about it."

 

"Come on. You're among friends." And while Ben was surprised to find himself agreeing with that statement … "Something Dark, right? _Vader's Viper_ …?"

 

"First Order fights aren't given official names, though most pilots did name their ships. I did; I just didn't tell anyone."

 

"What was it?"

 

" _Committee._ " He's surprised at how painful it feels to say it.

 

"What?" Poe looks at him in confusion.

 

"It was a family joke. Sometimes when my parents would argue, my father would say, 'No time to discuss this as a committee.' Mother would shoot back, 'I am not a committee.' It was the only way I could name my ship after her without anyone knowing."

 

"She loves you, Ben." Poe lays a hand on his arm. "I don't know what's going on, but the General always has a good reason for what she does."

 

"Yes she does," Ben murmurs. "But it's not always one that takes into account the feelings of people around her."

 

..**..

 

 

When he gets back to Rey, he finds her working on repairing her light saber. "I cannibalized one of the other sabers for the missing parts, and it looks like it should work, but nothing happens when I try to turn it on. I think the crystals are ruined forever. I should probably try to purify the other crystals."

 

"No. You just have to attune the crystals."

 

"But they're cracked."

 

"Mine was too. It still works." But his is a flawed weapon, and he doesn't want that for Rey. "You tried to fix it before, didn't you?"

 

"Yes. But nothing happened. How do I attune myself to the crystals?"

 

"It normally takes many days of meditation."

 

"We don't have that kind of time."

 

"I said 'normally.' You're one of the most gifted Force Users I've ever seen. You should be able to do it much quicker than the typical apprentice."

 

Grudgingly, Rey placed the reformed light saber on the floor and then sat down in front of it. Crossing her legs, she closed her eyes and began to focus on the Force.

 

"You make the most adorable face when you're concentrating."

 

"Shut up. I'm becoming one with the Force."

 

"The Force is very lucky."

 

"Less flirting. More instruction."

 

"Do you want me to do my Yoda impression?"

 

"Who's Yoda?"

 

"Fine. Just something Luke used to do when training us." He resists the urge to touch her because that will lead to anything other than light saber manufacturing. "Everything is in the force. Focus on the crystals in the saber. Let me know when you can feel them."

 

Long minutes pass. Ben stays silent letting Rey find her own way. She's always been at her best when she does that.

 

"Okay. I can feel them." Rey gasps. "Oh Force!"

 

"What is it, Rey?"

 

" _Children._ He _murdered_ children with this blade? How can I use it now, knowing that?"

 

There's a red glow coming from the light saber now.

 

"That was Vader, Rey. Not you. The light saber is a reflection of its wielder. Just because Vader used it to take innocent lives that doesn't mean you can't use it to protect them."

 

The light begins to turn blue. A dark blue … with flashes of red.

 

"I still can't keep the Dark out."

 

"Maybe you're not meant to. We all have the Dark in it- and we all have the Light. It's just how we choose to use it that makes us who we are. You don't have to be perfect, Rey." He pauses and then breaks all the rules by kissing her. "You just have to be mine."

 

She kisses him back fiercely, their bond surging through the both of them ….

 

They both _feel_ the crystals that they broke mend … the cracks are still there … but faintly so now. Healed rather than vanished.

 

And the light saber burns _white_.

 

Just then Chewbacca bursts through the door. _"Ben! Rey! A Dreadnought just emerged from Hyperspace! The First Order- they're here!"_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Searching through Wookiepedia I saw that white is a light saber color used by the Imperial Knights. There is something fairly Rey-like in their attitude. There's also Grey Jedi listed, a category that both Rey and a redeemed Kylo Ren could fall in. I'm going to 'fess up; this whole chapter was to get to what happened at the end. :D


	19. INTERDICTION

"Just one Dreadnought?" Rey tries to remain calm as she clips her new-old light saber to her belt. "Why would there be just one Dreadnought?"

 

Ben reaches into the Force to find three familiar signatures. He's not surprised at all. "Hux and Phasma. And Sheeva. She always was a tattletale. Hux wouldn't want the rest of the First Order to know I turned- or give them a chance to follow me instead of him."

 

"You should have let me kill her." Rey kissed him quickly. "But I'm kind of glad you didn't. Killing her like that … wouldn't have been me."

 

"I know. That's why I stopped you."

 

 _"Let talk more running!" Chewbacca_ roars at them.

 

"We're on our way."

 

They run back to the med-center where Poe is shouting orders. "Pack up what you can. Rose, Finn, try to help get Leia onto the _Falcon_." He gives a hurried glance to Ben and Rey. "Any chance you two can work up some Force magic to disguise us or buy us extra time?"

 

"We can't mind a trick a whole Dreadnought, Poe," Rey says with some exasperation.

 

"And Sheeva is on board on the Dreadnought. She wouldn't be easy to fool. Without her there, we might be able to do something. As it is, I'm afraid not."

 

"I know there aren't a lot of us left, but why just one Dreadnought?"

 

"Hux wants me dead- but he wants it done quietly," Ben tells him. "It's always possible that some of the troops might rebel against him in favor of me- from fear, if nothing else. Everyone on that ship must be absolutely loyal to him."

 

"One Dreadnought is bad enough," Poe admits. "We lost so many lives stopping just one of them."

 

"We don't have to stop it. We just have to delay it long enough for the _Falcon_ to escape." _Sith do not go back to the Light because it kills them._ "I'll take care of that."

 

"Ben?" There's a look in Rey's eyes. "You're shutting me out. Muting our bond. Why are you doing that, Ben?"

 

"I have to do this, Rey. The Resistance _has_ to survive. I love you." He kisses her quickly. _"Sleep."_

 

He catches Rey as she falls once more. "She won't stay out long. It only worked this time because she wasn't expecting it."

 

 _"Ben, no..._ " Chewbacca whines.

 

"I have to do this, Chewie. Take care of Rey for me. I love you, Chewie." He glances over at Poe. "And you're not … terrible. Say goodbye to Finn and Rose for me." He hands the unconscious Rey into Chewie's arms.

 

"Ben. Please don't do this." Poe says it with desperation. "It'll kill Rey. We need both of you. You don't have to do this to prove you're on our side."

 

"Goodbye, Poe." He clasps Poe's shoulder for a moment, then runs towards his ship, calling on the Force to give him speed. He reaches his ship and climbs into it. "One last ride, _Committee._ That's all I ask."

 

 _Committee_ rises into the air like a wounded bird and claws her way into the sky.

 

The Dreadnought is waiting for him like a dragon about to pounce.

 

_I'll surrender. I'll tell Hux I won't fight if he lets the Resistance go. He'll lie and say he will, but he won't attack until my ship is on board … and that's when I'll trigger the hyper drive. It'll blow that ship out of space. Rey will be safe. Chewie. Mother. Everyone will be safe._

 

And then _Committee_ comes to a dead stop.

 

He flips on his communicator.

 

"Ben Solo, you are a dead man!" Rey screams. "You shut me out of the freaking bond. You put me to _sleep!_ And _now_ you're trying to pull some kind of suicide run?! I am going to _kill_ you when I get my hands on you!"

 

He can see Poe's _Black Beauty_ rising to meet him, flanked by Brea's nameless ship. "You guys shouldn't be here. It's dangerous."

 

"You kriffing nerfherder!" Rey rages for several minutes, using curses he didn't know she knew existed. "... and that's just for starters!"

 

"You woke up faster than I expected."

 

"I had help. Get your butt planetside! We'll find another way."

 

"Is everyone on board the _Falcon_?"

 

"We're still getting there," Poe says over the radio. "Ben … the Dreadnought's an Interdictor. We can't get into hyperspace."

 

"I'll take care of that … as soon as Rey lets me go."

 

"Nothing doing. You're going to do something stupid. I didn't marry you just to watch you do something stupid."

 

Ben feels Rey's grip on the Force tighten around his ship. "Rey, you have to let me go. Even Hux isn't so blind as to miss us forever. Once he sees us he'll blow us all out of the sky."

 

"Then just land. Or I'll make you land."

 

"You can't do that. We're equal." And he reaches into the Force in an attempt to move his ship forward. "Poe, you know I'm right. Take Rey back to the surface."

 

"I'm on the _Falcon._ "

 

"I'm up here with you, Ben. Alone. Where you go, I'm going to follow."

 

"Brea? If that's you over there, you have to convince Rey to land. It's dangerous for the two of you."

 

The voice that replies is not one that he ever expected to hear.

 

"Return to Mustafar, Ben Solo. It is not your time to die."

 

"Grandfather?" he asks in surprise.

 

The voice of Darth Vader. How could the other pilot be Darth Vader? He had been dead more than 30 years!

 

"I have to do this." He applies more power- both from the Force and then from the engines of the _Committee_ in an attempt to break free of Rey's grasp.

 

"It was not a request, Ben Solo," the voice of "Darth Vader" intones. "You will return to the surface now."

 

And Ben feels additional Force energies being used to counter his own. Not as much as Rey's, but enough to make further resistance futile. He'll either blow his ship's engine up or the hull will crush like an eggshell. "Fine. But we're going to have a talk when I  land, 'Grandpa.'"

 

"I look forward to it."

 

With a curse, Ben swings _Committee_ back to the surface of Mustafar. "Don't go anywhere, Hux. I'll be back."

 

Rey and "Darth Vader" land right beside _Committee_. Rey is the first one out of the ship and she marches over to him. "I am going to _kill_ you!"

 

"You know, that wouldn't be necessary if you had just let me do what I had planned..." It's a feeble joke, but he doesn't know what else to say. Even with the bond muted, he can feel her rage, her pain, her terrible fear that she was going to lose him.

 

With a strangled cry she wraps her arms around his neck. "Ben, you can't do that to me! You can't just _die_ on me. I don't need a martyr. I need a husband."

 

"You should listen to your wife, Ben." Darth Vader steps out of Brea's ship.

 

He's wearing his infamous armor, complete with the ominous breathing of his respirator. But he's shorter than Ben expects. A lot shorter. And he has …?

 

"You're not Darth Vader," he mumbles like an idiot to the woman in front of him wearing Darth Vader's armor.

 

"I told you he's brighter than he looks, Rey." the amused voice of "Darth Vader" comments. "As soon as we get to Bespin, I'm going to make sure that Rose changes this damn vocalizer. This is NOT how I want to sound."

 

He knows. He can feel the familiar presence now. "Mother …?"

 

"About kriffing time," Leia Organa murmurs as she removes the black helmet she is wearing. "I was suffocating in that thing."

 

"What- How-?"

 

"I decided that I wasn't ready to die- not when I FINALLY had my son back." And Leia opens her arms up to her son. There's a look on her face- as though she's expecting him to reject him for all that has happened between them. There's so much pain in their family – a legacy of estrangement and self destruction and rejection that spans three generations now.

 

Ben thinks about it for a second, and then decides that he doesn't care.

 

He rushes into his mother's arms and cries on her shoulder like he hasn't said since he was young.

 

"It's all right, Ben. It's going to be all right," Leia says gently. "We're together now. That's all that matters."

 

And she cradles her son to her like a child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now you know ONE of the reasons that Leia was keeping her distance from Ben. We may have lost Carrie Fisher, but I'm not ready to lose Leia- not in this fic.


	20. PLANNING

"I want to talk to my son," Leia says with a glance at Rey. "Alone."

 

Rey looks at her rebelliously. She's aware just how much power that Leia has to hurt Ben, and she's to leave him in her power. "Anything you say to Ben, you can say to me. I'm his _wife._ " _I chose him. He chose me. I didn't abandon him like you did. I never will._

 

"Rey, it's okay," Ben breathes, still holding onto his mother. "Make sure the others are ready to go. Even if we can't leave the system we can't just stay on Mustafar waiting for Hux to destroy us."

 

"All right, love." She kisses his forehead. "Call if you need me."

 

"I will."

 

"And don't think I'm not still mad at you. I'm furious. And as soon as I get a chance, you're going to get a piece of my mind."

 

"I look forward to it." He gives her a crooked smile. "Will it possibly involve spanking?"

 

"Don't get your hopes up yet, Solo."

 

"Still here. Still his mother."

 

With a last knowing smirk at Ben, Rey sprints up to the _Falcon_.

 

"You're a lucky man, Ben. She's special."

 

"She's everything to me." He lets go of his mother and looks down at her. "This is a new look for you."

 

"Not my first choice I assure you. But the droids had to work fast. My heart was failing. It was only a matter of time. The life support in this suit is the only thing that keeps me alive. It's not pretty, but it leaves me a lot more mobile than I was."

 

"It must be hard."

 

"It is. The first time I put on that helmet it was like living my worst nightmare. But I had to do it." She pauses. "My son needed me."

 

"Is this why you wouldn't see me? You were afraid that I'd fall back- turn back into Kylo Ren- if I saw you like this?"

 

"... maybe that was part of it."

 

"Part of it?"

 

"I never became a Jedi, Ben, but I did study what I could- on my own and with Luke. I know what happens when a Sith tries to return to the Light." She lays a gloved hand on his face. "It's hard, isn't it?"

 

"Yes. But I deserve it."

 

"You do. You've done terrible things."

 

"You must hate me."

 

"I could never hate you, Ben. You're my son."

 

"Dad ..."

 

" _That_ hurts. But I know he wouldn't want that to destroy us. We're all the family we have left." She smiles. "Well, you've moved on."

 

"Loving Rey- marrying Rey- doesn't mean I don't love you any longer." He looks away. "I didn't try to kill you, Mother. I didn't fire. I couldn't."

 

"I know." She touches his arm. "I wasn't the best mother you could have had. I made mistakes. You and Rey will do the same."

 

"You're not responsible for what I became, Mother."

 

"No. But things might have gone differently-"

 

 

"We both know that even a Force user can't change the past."

 

"All right. So this Hux. I've had Intel on him, but you worked with him personally. What's he like?"

 

"Like me- Kylo Ren that is- except with possibly slightly more self control." He thinks about something. "Before I left, he asked me for a favor- additional medical care for Phasma."

 

"Phasma?"

 

"She was in charge of the Stormtroopers. I had no idea they were friendly until Hux asked me to authorize medical care. Beyond a certain point, only the Supreme Leader could provide authorization."

 

"And she mattered that much to him that he went to you?"

 

"Yeah. Surprised the kriff out of me too. Guess he's human after all."

 

"Ben ..."

 

"Is this where you tell me again I should have stayed, Mother?" He forced himself to keep calm. This time he wasn't going to lose his temper. He did not want to do anything to disrupt this rare moment of peace that he had with his mother.

 

"No, Ben. You're right. What's done is done. And for what it's worth..." She laid a hand on his shoulder. "I'm glad you came. I might not have lived long enough if you hadn't. I might not have lived long enough to see you happy. That's all I ever wanted for you, Ben. I just wanted you to be happy." She runs her hand through his hair. "That and for you to get a haircut."

 

"Mother!"

 

 

_..**.._

 

 

"What's he waiting for?" Poe asks in a voice tinged with destruction. "He has us. There's nowhere we can go in this system that he can't find us. And yet he's just up there waiting. Why hasn't he blown this planet to hell. That's what _I_ would do."

 

"It's personal," Ben tells them after a minute. "He doesn't want to destroy the Resistance so much as he wants to destroy me" Hux had told him that the Resistance wasn't worth worrying about when they had been reduced to such numbers. On the other hand, a tiny force with _two_ Force users- three if his mother was counted- was another matter entirely. "You're just the collateral damage."

 

"He fears you that much?"

 

"I _did_ Force choke him before Crait." Ben hates to mention Crait- hates the memories that come up for all of them with name- but he has to. "And he's always despised me and the bantha I rode up on. That's why I knew he'd let me get close. He wants to make _sure_ I'm dead."

 

"What happens after that?" Poe asks him.

 

"Then I imagine he'd blast you all to kriff and then go on to continue trying to conquer the galaxy. As long as he's alive, he's a threat. As long as I'm alive, he'll focus on ending me."

 

"That sounds pretty arrogant."

 

"I come by it honestly." He smirks at his mother.

 

"So what... he'll just sit up there and rot, waiting for you to come up and see him?" Finn asks.

 

"Oh, he'll lose patience eventually. Probably fairly soon. But maybe if I go up"- he glances at the hard eyes of his wife-"and _talk_ to him, I can stall for time."

 

"To do what?" Rey asks.

 

"For Poe to do what he does best: blow kriff up."

 

"The _Black Beauty and_ Brea's ship are pretty fast and maneuverable. We probably could blow the interdictor generators up. We have four FTL ships counting Ben's ship." Poe glances over at Rose. "Can Ben's ship still go into hyperspace?"

 

"Yes. I won't swear that it'll be the best ride ever, but it should still be able to go past light speed."

 

"So the _Falcon_ takes off into hyper space the moment the interdictor generators are down. The three of us head off right at it and meet up at Bespin. That sounds like a plan."

 

"As much of a plan as we're going to get in this situation." Leia looks at them. She's wearing the helmet again because the suit has to be whole for the life support to operate at peak strength. "I don't like the idea of Ben going up there alone though. I'm afraid he might get some self sacrificing ideas."

 

"He won't be alone. I'm going with him."

 

"Rey," Finn says urgently. "You can't! We can't risk _both_ our Jedi in one ship-"

 

"I'm not a Jedi!" Both Ben and Rey exclaim at the same time.

 

"You're the closest we've got- both of you. No offense, General."

 

"None taken. But Rey is right. She has to go with him."

 

"Why?" Finn is plainly not happy at the idea.

 

"Because something seems to happen when those two work together. The impossible becomes merely improbable. We have to believe the Force brought them together for a reason- and it's not just to explode over Mustafar." Ben's mother shrugs. "Besides, she's the only one he _might_ listen to."

 

"And I'm not letting him go without me," Rey says smugly. "I've got too much invested in him."

 

"I'm starting to feel like a credit account, Ben says with a wide eyed look.

 

"Oh we haven't even gotten started, love." Rey smiles at him. "But don't forget I'm still mad at you."

 

"How long are you going to hold a grudge?"

 

"You know me better than anyone else alive. What do you think?"

 

"I think I better used to sleeping on the couch."

 

"Alone. I'm keeping Wicket."

 

Chewie roars with Wookie laughter.

 

"You still have Wicket?" Leia asks her son in surprise.

 

Ben blushes and says nothing.

 

"Who or what is a Wicket?" Poe asks in confusion.

 

"Something I don't think we need to get into right now," Ben says hurriedly. "All right, love. You want to go with me. You'll go with me. But no back seat flying."

 

"Would I do that?"

 

"Does a bantha excrement in the desert?"

 

Rey rolls her eyes. "You totally love me and you know it."

 

"Yes. Yes I do." Ben slips his arms around her.

 

"But you're still on the couch." Rey blinks. "When we get a couch."

 

"All right. Poe, Brea, let us take off first. We'll try to keep Hux's attention on us. You should know when to attack."

 

"Is that before or after he blows you up?" Poe asks.

 

"Before, if at all possible." Ben replies dryly.

 

"I'll see what I can do."

 

"I'd appreciate that. Really."

 

Poe pauses for a moment. "Do you drink, Ben?"

 

"As in alcohol?"

 

"I kind of figured you drank water. Of course I'm talking about alcohol."

 

"I have ...sometimes. Just not for a long time. It's not a good idea to get intoxicated when your life might depend on an instant's reaction."

 

"When this is all over- when we have a spare moment-"

 

"Yes?"

 

"I'm going to drink you under the table." _He may have gotten the girl, but there's no kriffing way that_ _ **Ben Solo**_ _can out drink me._

 

"I'm looking forward to it," Ben says finally.

 

"Me too," Rey says. "I really want to see what the two of you would be like drunk together."

 

"I wonder if they'd make out?" Rose murmurs.

 

"They better not." Rey squeezes Ben's hand possessively. "Ben's all mine. Poe can make out with Finn when he's drunk."

 

Both the ex-Stormtrooper and the pilot blush at that. Rose, however, doesn't. "Hey!"

 

"Fine, fine. I'll make the sacrifice," Brea says with an exaggerated roll of her eyes as she slips her arms around Poe. "When Ben"- and everyone is surprised to hear her use that name for him-"and Poe get drunk, I will totally make out with Poe."

 

"Do we have to wait that long?" Poe asks her.

 

Brea blushes and looks away. "Later, flyboy. After we've saved the Resistance. Again."

 

"But not much later, right?" Poe presses.

 

"Poe!"

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More fluff because of course there is. Realistically, it's doubtful that the Resistance would accept Ben that quickly. On the other hand, they're not exactly in a position to turn down help. I also feel like Ben is coming across as such a different person that's become easier for them to mostly accept that he is a different person. And with their backs to the wall, they hold onto whatever humor they can find in life because it's one of the few things that they have to keep them going. Rebellions may be founded on hope, but I think that one of the things that can keep us going in dark times is the ability to find what joy and amusement we can.


	21. Escape To Bespin

 

"This ship is nicer than Poe's."

 

"Of course it is. I was Master of the Knights of Ren before I became Supreme Leader. I rated the best there was."

 

"Does that include your wife, love?"

 

"Oh, I sense that I am in danger here." Ben chuckles wry and clasps Rey's hand. "You know you are more to me than any treasure there is."

 

"More than Wicket?"

 

" _Now_ you're pushing it."

 

She pouts in that way she has and then kisses him. "Ben, what were you and your mother talking about?"

 

"A lot of things." He sighs. "We never were very good at talking to each other."

 

"Things are better now, though, right?"

 

"I like to think so." The specter of his father's death- of his _murder_ of his father- hangs over them, and Ben knows that his mother may never fully forgive him for _that_ crime even if she can put aside the other things he did as Kylo Ren.

 

"There's something else. Something you're not telling me." Her voice is calm. No angry accusations. Just the acceptance that she knows something is wrong- and the certainty that he will tell her when it's time.

 

"Yes. I'll talk about it when we get to Bespin. I can't focus on that right now." He pauses. "There's something you _should_ know right now."

 

"What's that?"

 

"I told Hux you killed Snoke."

 

She smacked him lightly. "Hey! What were you trying to pull?"

 

"I was still Kylo Ren then. It seemed like a good idea at the time. But you need to know now in case it comes up while we're talking to Hux. He might make reference to it and I didn't want you to be surprised."

 

"Pinning regicide on your wife does seem like a very Kylo thing to do."

 

"You're not mad at me, love?"

 

Silence.

 

Long enough to make him nervous.

 

"Rey-?"

 

"Of course I'm not mad, love. I'm sure you'll think of some way to make it up to me."

 

"Is that a threat? It kind of sounded like a threat."

 

"Less flirting more flying. You wouldn't want Poe to think he's a better flier than you are, would you?"

 

"Of course he _thinks_ that."

 

_Committee_   lurched into the sky once more.

 

"We definitely need to get this thing fixed when we have the time, Ben. Not exactly the smoothest ride I've ever had."

 

 

..**..

 

 

"Don't say it. Don't even _think_ it." She sighs. "Ben, how _are_ we going to handle this? Hux could simply blast us out of the sky. You can't stop a Dreadnought's blaster bolt can you?"

 

"Don't know," he admits easily. "I've never tried. I'd rather not find out. I have an idea of how to handle Hux. At least till Poe and Brea get into position."

 

"Share with me?"

 

"Hux is … predictable. He likes things to happen in a certain way. When they don't, he tends to get … upset."

 

"Now who does that remind me of?"

 

"I haven't the faintest idea," Ben replies in an offended tone. Then he smirks. "Just follow my lead. You'll get the gist soon enough."

 

"Generally before you do, Solo."

 

Ben smirks. He pressed the com switch. "This is Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, calling First Order Dreadnought. I don't remember giving authorization for you to come to my private residence, General Hux. I trust you have a good reason."

 

"Ah, Ben Solo," Hux appeared on screen almost immediately. "Sheeva Ren was so good as to inform us of your defection to the Resistance. I thought my first official duty as the new Supreme Leader would be to take you in for a proper trail regarding the death of my predecessor Supreme Leader Snoke."

 

"I don't recall tendering my resignation, General. I was just enjoying my honeymoon with my new bride."

 

"Your bride? That scavenger-"

 

Hux began to choke.

 

"I suggest you refer to my wife in more polite terms, General." Ben's voice was as casual as if he was discussing the weather. He gestures.

 

Hux relief was visible as he began to breathe again.

 

_Why didn't you do that without contacting him?_ Rey was curious to find out.

 

_I have to be able to see him to pull that particular trick. All he had to do was break communication and it'd be over._

 

_He doesn't know that?_

 

_It's not like I would have told him, and I guess Sheeva hasn't either._

 

Sheeva came to stand beside Hux. "Don't worry, Supreme Leader. He will not be able to attack you again." She was sporting silver prostheses that had not yet been covered with artificial flesh. Knowing her, Ben rather suspected she wouldn't bother. "I will protect you in my role as the Master of the Knights of Ren."

 

"That's right, Sheeva. Lend the good General a hand. Oh wait you're rather short of them at the moment."

 

Sheeva glared at him. "Traitor!"

 

"She's just jealous, love," Rey said, putting herself in view of the camera to give Ben a chaste kiss on the cheek. "All those years and she never caught your eye. And now some nobody from nowhere just up and stole your heart." Rey couldn't resist a smirk. "If you knew what I know about him, Sheeva, you would have tried harder. Definitely worth it."

 

"He's nothing! You're nothing!"

 

"General, how's Phasma?"

 

The question caused Hux to blink in surprise. "She is... mending."

 

"I'm glad to hear it."

 

Hux stared at him. "You almost sound sincere, Ren … Solo. I mean Solo!"

 

"I don't hate Phasma." Ben smiles. "Or you. We were … comrades."

 

"For a moment I thought you were going to say friends." Hux's eyes are shadowed at that moment. "I did not like or trust you as Kylo Ren, but I respected your dedication to Supreme Leader Snoke and the First Order. How far the mighty have fallen."

 

"There are things worth more than power, General."

 

"Is this where you speak to me of the power of love?" Hux asks with a sneer.

 

"There are worse things, General." There's a trace of regret in his voice. The things he knows about Armitage Hux- the things that he had once found amusing about the ginger haired man's past- now merely made him sad. "A bit of advice for you though- if you decide to hop into bed with Sheeva- literally or figuratively- be sure to keep an eye on her. I would have killed you- but I'd have done so honestly. She'll be swearing her allegiance and stabbing you in the back with the other."

 

"The only thing she cares about is her own power, Hux." Rey is much less sympathetic. "You're a fool if you think that she'll ever be satisfied with just the Knights of Ren. If you win a throne she'll take it from you."

 

"So you say, scavenger."

 

"Enough talk, General! The traitor is in our sight! You should kill them both before they unleash any Jedi tricks!" Sheeva glared venom at the both of them through her mask.

 

"Master Sheeva Ren is correct. As much as I enjoyed this reunion, I'm afraid that I need to get on with my work, Kylo- Ben Solo. Do you have any last words?"

 

"Yes. I'm sorry, Armitage."

 

"You cannot beg your way back into the First Order now!" Hux was practically frothing at the mouth now.

 

"Not that. For this."

 

And at that moment Poe Dameron and Brea Darklighter blast the interdictor spheres on the Dreadnought into pieces. The ship rocked.

 

"Jump to light speed!" Poe cries. "We can't take out a Dreadnought with what we have now."

 

"He's learning," Rey murmurs.

 

"General, if you surrender in the future, contact the Resistance." Ben hit the accelerator.

 

_Committee_ lurches but doesn't jump.

 

"Damn it!" A frantic glance to figure out what's wrong.

 

Rey smacks the dash.

 

And _Committee_ jumps into hyper-space.

 

"How did you do that?"

 

"I can take them apart. I can intimidate them into working right," Rey says with a deadpan look. "What was that about Hux? You were almost... nice … at the end."

 

"He's like us," Ben says softly. "Like me."

 

"He is _nothing_ like you. Even at your worst as Kylo Ren, you felt the pull of the Light. There's no light in Hux. Just an unrelenting evil. You don't have to be a Darksider to be a monster."

 

"He is now. But once … once he was a scared little boy that had no one to teach him compassion." Ben sighs. "He's in love with Phasma."

 

"You really think so?"

 

"I believe so. And if he is- if he has that _much_ humanity left in him- maybe there's a way to end this war without the Galaxy burning down around us."

 

"Look at you." Rey kisses him quickly on the lips. "Finding hope for everyone. I hope you're right, but some people will stay mired in their darkness no matter how often we reach out to them." She lays a head on his shoulder. "But I love you for having that hope. For becoming a man who could _think_ such things."

 

"Thank you, love." He sighs and strokes her hair with his free hand.

 

"Is it crazy that I'm going to miss Mustafar?" she asks him. "I know what it represented to Darth Vader. I know what things happened here- to Anakin and Padme. But even with that- even with the Darkside so strong there- I've never been as happy as I was there. With you. Do you think we'll ever be that happy again, Ben?"

 

"I know it." Ben kisses her more deeply this time. "If we can find a moment of joy in that place, we can find it anywhere."

 

_Now if only we can find what we need in Cloud City. If only Lando doesn't sell me out …_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I had known this story was going to be this long I never would have started out in present tense. At any rate, our heroes are now heading back into the Galaxy at large. And off to Cloud City!


	22. LANDO

Neither of them speak much during the journey to Bespin. Ben knows that he must tell her about the secret of why the Sith never returned to the Light. Concealing the truth will never work with Rey; she never gives up. Her indomitable spirit is one of the (many) things he loves about her.

 

And he's tired of secrets.

 

But he knows that not all his secrets can be revealed yet. Lando Calrissian knows who Kylo Ren was. He knows who Ben Solo became. He may be the Rebellion's only hope of rebuilding itself into a force capable of challenging the First Order. He was apart of the Rebellion; he's been a smuggler; he's been a politician; he's been a little bit of everything.

 

Once … once he was even "Uncle Lando" to a young Ben Solo.

 

That was before Kylo Ren killed Han Solo, of course.

 

What will Lando do when he meets the reborn Ben Solo? Will he welcome him with open arms? Attempt to turn him over to the First Order as he once betrayed Han to the Empire? Will he try to kill him for Han's death?

 

"Do you think General Calrissian will help us?" There's an uncertainty in Rey's voice. She's had too many of her illusions broken lately. If Luke Skywalker was not what she had expected, what kind of man will Lando Calrissian prove to be?

 

"He's... complicated. He sold out Dad, but he redeemed himself by helping free him from Jabba. And he definitely earned his rank in the Rebellion."

 

"Why didn't he stay in the New Republic Government after the Empire was overthrown?"

 

Ben shrugs. "Dad said he was too honest. He preferred his graft and corruption at the local level where he could still hold true to his principles."

 

"I'm starting to believe that your view of politics has not changed as much as the rest of you has."

 

"That's my brilliant wife talking."

 

"You're just saying things like that hoping you won't be sleeping on the couch tonight."

 

"Is it working?"

 

"Not at all." Rey's lips brush against his cheek. "Do you have any idea how scared I was, Ben? You were all one against the Knights of Ren, and you didn't even have your light saber! All I could think about what I would do if something happened to you."

 

"I wasn't alone. Finn helped. And so did the rest of you." The memory is a good one; he lets himself savor the light of that moment.

 

_So little light compared to the darkness you cast, Kylo Ren._

 

_You're not real, Minas. This is just some last echo of your voice. A lingering poison._

 

_And yet are my words not true?_

 

_The village on Jakku. The screaming and the burning. Had any of those people been known to Rey? Had they fed a starving child or forced her to the desert?_

 

_He could smell the fire. The charring of living flesh that permeated his mask. Men. Women. Children._

 

_I may just be the last whispered curse of a dead man, Kylo Ren, but my words are true. Your guilt will drown you, and not all your little Jedi's love will save you …_

 

"Ben?" Worry tints her voice. Rey brushes a hand against his cheek. "Your face... you're white as a sheet."

 

"I'm fine," he tells her, and he hopes that it is the truth.

 

The Millennium _Falcon_ was the first ship of their small convoy to dock. If they were to avoid being shot out of the sky they needed to make sure that a familiar vessel was the one that asked for Lando Calrissian's help. Leia had to remove the helmet to speak for herself- as _herself_ \- and the effort was leaving her gasping before they were finally allowed to land.

 

Ben fought down the rage that had boiled in him at his mother's discomfort. He knew that he still had his temper; his love for Rey had calmed him down somewhat, but self-restraint after six years of being encouraged to let that fury go- was not strong in him.

 

After the _Falcon_ landed, Ben and Rey were permitted to land and for the first time in several years, Ben found himself facing one of his father's oldest friends.

 

"Well, well. I never expected to see you again …?" Lando smoothly left the question in the air, giving Ben a chance to reply for himself.

 

"Ben Solo." He offered the older man his hand.

 

Lando oh so politely ignored it. "Good to see you again, Young Master Solo. And who is this enchanting vision with you?" He bent down and kissed Rey's hand.

 

Rey blushed. "I'm Rey." She slipped her arm through Ben's. " _His_ wife. This is an amazing place you have here, General Calrissian."

 

"Oh, I gave that title up years ago." Lando's dark unreadable eyes flashed back to Ben's. "A wife? You _have_ changed, young man. The last time I saw you, you were rather differently … attired. And now I find you married and reunited with your mother." He paused, and there was a note of hope in his voice. "Was it all a trick, Ben? Was this some long scam you and your old man were playing? Is Han alive?"

 

It hurt like hell to admit it. "No," Ben said softly. "I've changed, but the man you knew me as was who I had become."

 

"But that's not who he is now." Rey's eyes spat a warning at Lando, and the older man was not foolish enough to ignore it.

 

"I can see you chose well, young Solo. Did he sweep you off your feet, Rey?"

 

Rey snorted. "Not likely. If I left it up to _him_ we'd still be working up to hand holding."

 

Lando smiled thinly. "He must get that from his mother's side. Along with other … traits."

 

Ben nodded. This was not going as well as he would have liked, but he didn't have any reason to expect that it would. Lando would be a fool to trust him now.

 

Chewbacca and the others disembarked from the _Falcon._ Leia was the last to leave, obviously self-conscious to reveal herself to her old friend in the Darth Vader armor that was keeping her alive.

 

Lando had been warned, but it was obvious that he was shaken. "Leia?"

 

"It's me, Lando. It's good to see you." Her voice sounded amused. "If you don't want to give me a hug I completely understand."

 

"Kriff on that," Lando swept Ben's mother up into an embrace. "I don't care what you're wearing, Leia. Just knowing that one of my old friends is still with me is reason enough to celebrate."

 

Chewbacca roared.

 

"You too, Chewie. You too."

 

Leia hugged Lando back. "You have no idea how good it is to see you too, Lando. These days, I'm surrounded by children." She cast a warning look in Poe's direction.

 

To his credit, the pilot did his best to look innocent.

 

"So how can I help my old friends?" Lando asked.

 

"We need a place to lie low," Leia said frankly. "There's barely enough of us to play a Sabacc game right now. We can't afford any First Order … entanglements. If you could spare it, we'd like access to equipment and supplies to repair our ships." She paused. "I won't ask you to put any of your people at risk by helping us. If you can just provide the materials, we'll do the rest."

 

"I appreciate that, Leia."

 

Leia stumbled suddenly.

 

"Mother?" Ben was at her side instantly, holding her arm to keep her upright.

 

"I'm fine, Ben. This damn suit just needs to recharge." Leia sighed. "I feel like a worn out droid right now. No offense, C-Threepio."

 

"None taken, General."

 

"I'll make sure that all your needs are taken care of," Lando said with a wink at Leia.

 

 _Is he flirting with my mother?_ Ben wondered. He wasn't sure how to feel about that.

 

"General Calrissian-"

 

"Lando, Rey. Lando."

 

"Lando." Rey smiled warmly. "Is there any chance that Ben and I could have a private room somewhere? We haven't had our honeymoon yet."

 

"Rey-" Ben began. He was about to say that it wasn't really the time for such things, but the look she gave him caused him to wisely desist.

 

"Certainly, my dear. I'll see to it that the two of you get a room in one of the finest hotels in Cloud City. That goes for all of you."

 

"Thanks," Rose said, "but Chewie and I should get to work repairing the ships. Just in case we need a quick exit."

 

"You've been working non stop for days," Finn told her worriedly. "A little rest won't kill you. No one is expecting you to be a miracle worker, Rose."

 

"He's right, Rose," Ben added. "Everyone could use a day off. We'll all work much better once we've had a chance to rest in a place that isn't a lava infested Sith hole."

 

"Yes," Poe said with a smirk at Brea Darklighter. "Someone made a promise to me-"

 

"Not until after you and Ben get drunk, flyboy. And I think that little miss Jedi has other plans for her husband tonight." Brea smirked. "Good things come to those who wait- or don't you think I am worth it?"

 

"You are totally worth it," Poe declared.

 

 _Smart man_ , Ben observed.

 

 _You should pay attention,_ Rey shot back through their Bond.

 

_Yes, love._

 

Ben Solo was no one's fool either.

 

..*..

 

They were certainly too conspicuous as they were to tour Cloud City, but that was something that could wait for tomorrow. They were given an entire floor of rooms on one of the lesser known Cloud City hotels. (None of them felt particularly bad about that as the more popular hotels were sure to be frequented by someone who might be willing to turn them all in to the First Order.) Ben was convinced by Lando's interactions with his mother that he would not sell them out, but that was no guarantee that he'd help them rebuild the Resistance.

 

(And he still wasn't entirely comfortable with the attention that Lando seemed to be paying Leia. Hospitality was one thing. But if that scoundrel thought he could take advantage of his mother …)

 

And Ben Solo laughed.

 

"What's so funny?" Rey asked him as they were prepared for a bed.

 

"The idea that anyone would ever be able to take advantage of my mother. She's the strongest person I know."

 

"She is strong-willed. I don't think we'd still be holding on without her."

 

"She's a legend," Ben murmured.

 

"She's a woman, Ben." Rey took his face into her hands.

 

"I know she's a woman. What are you getting at?"

 

"Nothing, love. I'm sure you'll figure it out on your own." She kissed him. "You're still going to be sleeping on the couch."

 

"You're kidding."

 

"No."

 

"After insisting we have a honeymoon, you're going to make me sleep alone on the couch tonight? You're heartless, woman!"

 

She smirked and kissed him again. Deeper, this time. "I said you'd be sleeping on the couch, Ben. I didn't say anything about alone."

 

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her onto the couch with him. "I love you, Rey."

 

"I know. Now shut up and show me."

 

And he did.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, look. This is me abandoning an attempt to be consistent with my tenses. It's funny how the TLJ made me appreciate both Rey and Kylo Ren/Ben Solo so much more than TFA did. Adam Driver and Daisy Ridley really do have great chemistry together. I'm still trying to decide which song fits Rey and Ben best. Also, I agree with Ben; no one is going to take advantage of Leia … unless maybe she wants them too. :D


	23. Pillow Talk

Afterwards, when they were a tangle of arms and legs and minds wrapped in their Bond, Rey looked into his eyes. "Ben, tell me what's wrong. Ever since we fought the Knights of Ren, I've felt this …"

 

"Darkness?" he offered.

 

"Sadness," she replied. "Were they your friends?"

 

"No. Once … once they might have been. But that was before I became Kylo Ren and they became the Knights."

 

"They chose their paths, Ben." She said it gently, stroking his hair that she had already mussed beyond repair.

 

"But I offered it to them. I led them onto it." Sheeva, he's sure, would have chosen the Dark Side whether or not there had ever been a Ben Solo. The others … would they have made that leap if Ben hadn't been there to guide them?

 

"They had a choice." She kissed his forehead. "But that's not all this is about, is it?"

 

"No." He closed his eyes for a moment. "There was something that Minas told me when he invaded my mind. 'No Sith survives a return to the Light.'"

 

"You weren't a Sith."

 

"Technicality. I used the Dark Side. For years. I murdered so many people, Rey. I kept the ashes of my worst enemies."

 

He felt her tense, half expected her to pull away from him, but she didn't. She clung to him all the tighter. "That's not who you are, Ben. There was always Light in you."

 

"There's always been Dark too."

 

"I know." She stroked his cheek. "But that's not all you are." She kissed his forehead. "What do you mean, 'No Sith survives a return to the Light.'?"

 

"The guilt. To have done such terrible things as a Force sensitive … you have no idea what it's like, Rey."

 

"I've killed people."

 

"In defense of yourself or others. That's not the same thing. I killed people who couldn't defend themselves- because they were in my way. Now … now I don't have the Dark Side to protect me from my crimes. I remember each and every one of them."

 

"Ben." She kissed him tenderly. "Ben... that's not who you are anymore."

 

"It's who I was. It's my past."

 

"Remember when you said let the past die?"

 

"Yes. But I was evil then." He gave her a rueful smile. "Knowing the entire Galaxy hates you is not an easy thing to bear."

 

"The whole Galaxy doesn't hate you." She kissed him again. "I don't hate you."

 

"Point taken."

 

"Your mother doesn't hate you."

 

"Let's not bring my mother up when we're naked in bed together. That's just weird."

 

She chuckled. "I think Finn is actually starting to like you."

 

"Maybe..."

 

"And Rose definitely doesn't hate you." _Not jealous just because she always seems so happy to see him. Rose is happy to see everyone. Not jealous. Okay … maybe a little jealous._

 

"I don't think Rose has it in her to hate anyone. She probably would have been nice to Snoke."

 

"Might have turned him too," Rey admitted.

 

"Probably not... but I almost wish we could have seen it." Ben kissed her again.

 

"Poe … he doesn't not not like you." She kissed his neck enough to make him groan. "You just have to let him get you drunk once."

 

"But don't make out with him, right?" He ran his hands down her naked back.

 

"No making out with Poe," she agreed. "That's going to have be added into our marriage contract."

 

Ben smiled. "I think I can resist … so long as you don't leave me alone with him. His eyes are almost as pretty as yours."

 

"Almost as pretty?" She gave him an indignant look.

 

"I said 'almost.' Don't hit me."

 

She bit her lip. "I _am_ worried about you, Ben."

 

"That I'll turn again?"

 

"No!" She kissed him softly on the lips. "That this … _guilt_ will destroy you. Promise me you won't shut me out? That you'll let me help."

 

"Just being here with you helps."

 

Her eyes filled with tears. "I just have this sudden fear that you came back to me only to die..." She laid her head down on his chest.

 

"I don't believe that," Ben told her calmly. "I can't. There is more to us than tragedy and loss. There has to be."

 

"We'll make it be," she said wiping the tears away from his eye.

 

"Mother said it best: when we're together the impossible becomes merely the improbable."

 

"I thought we weren't going to talk about your Mother in bed."

 

"Good point. Let's not talk about anything at all."

 

And they didn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So one of the things that annoys me in modern fiction- whether it be movies, TV, or literature- is when one partner withholds something from the other. It may be something huge or something totally innocuous, but they'll do it solely for the point of dragging out tension. I do like the idea of overwhelming guilt be a reason for Dark Side users not to return to the Light, but I don't think that's something that Ben should keep from Rey. I decided to make this discussion the sole reason for this chapter just to address that sort of thing.


	24. War Council

The next morning they walked down to have breakfast with Lando Calrissian and the rest of the Resistance. Ben's mother was able to disregard her helmet (temporarily at least) thanks to a droid with a built in life support unit that was attached to her suit. It was awkward and totally unsuited for long term use, but at least Leia didn't have to look at the world through the helmet of Darth Vader while she ate her breakfast.

 

Rey held her husband's hand as they sat down. She could feel the pain rolling around in the back of his mind like a storm on the horizon. She kissed him briefly before they went in front of the others.

 

Lando sat at the front of the table. Leia set to his right. Poe to his left. Finn sat next to Poe and Rose on the other side of Leia where she periodically checked Leia's life support droid. Brea Darklighter sat next and the rest of the Resistance occupied the rest of the table.

 

The end of the table had been left for Ben.

 

Rey took her place at his right hand side.

 

Chewbacca, without a comment, rose from his place beside Leia and made his way to sit on Ben's left. He squeezed the younger man's hand and resumed his eating.

 

Lando smiled at the younger man and his friends. "It's good to see that you got up to join us, young Solo."

 

"You know how it is with newlyweds," Rey retorted coolly. "We just can't get enough of each other." She smiled. "Or perhaps you're so old you've forgotten."

 

The smile did not leave Lando's face but his eyes did glitter dangerously for a moment. "Your mother and I spent quite some time contacting our old allies, young Solo."

 

"And?" Ben asked.

 

"There are worlds out there with the manpower and resources to help the Resistance, but at present they fear that they would be backing a losing hand," Lando said bluntly. "The First Order has all but destroyed the Resistance. Without more manpower than you have, they don't see it as being prudent to ally with the Resistance."

 

"And we can't the manpower without their assistance," Poe said glumly.

 

Rey felt a spark of anger. "So what you're saying is that they want us to win their fight for them but they don't want to give us the means to do so."

 

"It there were more of you left-" Lando's eyes flickered back towards Ben.

 

 _If only I had listened to Rey,_ Ben thought dismally. _Just more lives on my conscience. More blood on my hands._

 

"There isn't!" Rey said. "We know what we don't have, General Calrissian. What we need to know is what we can do about it!"

 

"Rey," Leia said reprovingly. "Lando is trying to help."

 

Rey scowled but sat back down.

 

Ben looked at them. "I have an idea," he said.

 

Leia looked at him. "Don't feel bound by protocol, Ben. Share with the rest of us."

 

"We need an army." He paused. "No one said it had to be a _living_ army."

 

All of them stared at him in confusion, even Rey. It was Rose who understood his meaning. "Droids. You're talking about the Battle Droids from the Clone Wars."

 

Ben nodded his head. "There was a factory on Mustafar. It'd been destroyed, but it did give me the idea that Battle Droids could still make an effective army."

 

"Where are we going to get a factory to make Battle Droids," Poe asked him. There was no derision on his face; he looked at Ben as though he expected a workable answer.

 

"We don't need a factory- at least not yet. I know where a sizable portion of the Droid army remains."

 

"Wait a minute," Finn said suddenly. "Those Droids were built more than 50 years ago. You really think they're still going to work? And that they'll be a match for the First Order even if they do?"

 

"Droid technology hasn't changed significantly for thousands of years," Rose said. "And while a Jedi Knight was a match for ten or more Battledroids at a time, enough of them could overwhelm them. And did."

 

"So where are we going to find this army?" Poe asked.

 

Ben glanced over at his mother regretfully. "Palpatine liked to keep technology he considered potentially useful. He kept a small army of Battledroids in reserve in case he ever needed to use them. Grandfather's records indicated that after Alderaan was destroyed the Emperor hid a vault containing them in the asteroid belt that was made up of the ruins of Alderaan." Ben smiled grimly. "Probably to use them against Vader."

 

Calmly, Leia asked, "Do you have the access codes?"

 

"Grandfather hadn't gotten that far before he died. I suspect we'll need a slicer."

 

"And I know just the guy," Finn said with a glance at Rose. "If we can find him."

 

"I know people who might know people," Lando offered carefully.

 

"Even if we can get to the droids, what are we going to do with them?" Rose asked. "We couldn't possibly carry a small army of droids in the _Millennium Falcon._ The other ships we have aren't large enough either."

 

"I know where we can get ships," Rey offered quietly. "Jakku."

 

Ben clasped her hand tightly. He knew what it cost her to think of that place. Of Unkar Plut and the life that she had lived. He felt a simmer of his old rage burning in him at the thought of what she had been through.

 

"I love you," she whispered as she looked into his eyes.

 

He choked down the rage. "You are amazing."

 

"Yes I am. Now tell me you love me too."

 

"I love you too," he repeated dutifully.

 

Chewbacca laughed in Wookie fashion.

 

"Laugh it up, hairball," Ben retorted.

 

Chewie rubbed his head fondly.

 

"Brea and I should go to Jakku," Poe offered. "We can pilot any ships that we ..." He glanced at Rey. "...find?"

 

"Find is a good word," Rey said with a nod. "So is _steal._ "

 

"I'm down with stealing from Unkar Plut," Ben said in agreement. "I'm also down with ripping his arms off."

 

Chewbacca growled agreement.

 

"And that's why you're not going to Jakku," Leia said. "You're too... emotional." She smiled. "If it makes you feel better, I'm perfectly willing to go along with Rey to Jakku. I promise that if any limbs need to be ripped off I'll make sure it's done."

 

"Ben, you know you should go to Ald- to the vault. No one will have a better chance of getting through than you."

 

"I'm going too!" Rose said eagerly. "I mean... I've _got_ to get a look at those droids."

 

"I thought you were coming with me to get DJ," Finn said jealously.

 

"I'm coming with you to pick up this DJ person," Ben told him. "We'll need him when we get to the vault."

 

Finn smirked. "Any chance you could wave that red light saber in his face when we find him?"

 

Ben looked at him curiously.

 

"He sold us out."

 

"I'm not opposed to you waving that red light saber in his face either," Rose added.

 

"If Rose is okay with that, then he must be a bad guy."

 

"I didn't think he was," Rose added softly. "That's what made it so bad when he sold us out. He was just acting like it was nothing personal."

 

"I'm going to Jakku," Rey said finally.

 

They all looked at her.

 

"Rey?" Ben asked.

 

"It's where I grew up. It was the only home I had until I found the Resistance- until I found _you_ , Ben. They'll need me there. We can't always be together- not if we're going to win this war."

 

"We're stronger together."

 

"Yes. Yes we are." She kissed his forehead. "But this is something I have to do. I won't be alone. I'll have Brea and Poe with me."

 

"That's what I'm worried about." He gave her one of his rare smiles. "Chewie? Are you going with them?"

 

_"Of course."_

 

"Thank you."

 

"I don't need a babysitter, Ben Solo," Rey started angrily. "I was taking care of myself long before you came long."

 

"I know. And you do it well." He glanced at the others. "But if you're going to take care of _them_ , you're going to need some help."

 

"I resent that remark!" Poe declared. Then he gave a boyish grin. "But I suppose I may resemble it too sometimes."

 

"And that's why we need that 'You will not make out with Poe' clause," Rey told Ben firmly. "He can be too darn charming."

 

"Ain't it the truth," Brea murmured.

 

Poe grinned back at her.

 

"So Poe, Rey, Brea, Chewie and I will take the _Falcon_ and go to Jakku," Lea declared. "Ben, Rose, and Finn will go looking for DJ the Slicer and then to Alderaan. Once we get the ships, we'll take them to Alderaan and wait for Ben to give the all clear."

 

"Sounds like a plan," Poe said. He glanced over at Ben. "Looks like we're going to have to put off getting you drunk a little longer."

 

"I can live with that."

 

"Me too." Poe opened his mouth to say something and then closed it.

 

"What's wrong?" Ben asked him. "I don't think I've seen you at a loss for words."

 

"I was about to say something really stupid."

 

Ben smiled. "I can imagine. And thank you."

 

"Just what are you two talking about?" Rey demanded.

 

"I don't think I'm going to say right now," Ben decided. "At least not when you're in light saber distance."

 

She glared at him. "Okay. I'm adding a partner to my team. I'm taking Wicket!"

 

"Not Wicket!"

 

"I'm sorry, Ben. You brought this on yourself."

 

"Are we ever going to learn who the kriff Wicket is?" Finn asked Poe.

 

Poe shrugged. "I just figured it was a code word for sex."

 

"You think everything is a code word for sex."

 

"Point taken."

 

"I hate to interrupt this touching camaraderie," Lando said. "But I believe that I'm going to go with Young Solo's team."

 

"I didn't hear anyone invite you."

 

"I'm inviting myself."

 

"We don't have a ship big enough to take you with us."

 

"That's all right. We'll use one of mine. I imagine your little flier would start to smell a little ripe with all of us in it for a few days."

 

"He does have a point there," Finn admitted.

 

"The _Lady Luck?_ " Ben asked. He'd been dazzled by Lando's converted yacht as a boy. It was something that had made Han slightly unhappy.

 

"You remembered?"

 

"She was hard to forget."

 

"The _Falcon_ yours now?"

 

"No." It pained him to admit it, but he knew that he would never feel worthy to own the _Falcon_ now. "It belongs to Chewie- and Rey. Not me."

 

Leia and Rey both came to Ben's side. Leia forced herself to step back as she watched Rey comfort her husband. She felt that strange little twist in her heart again- she had always wanted Ben to come home, but she had never expected that he would be coming back with a wife. It left her feeling a little lonely.

 

 _Maybe a few grandchildren, will make me feel better about that,_ Leia decided. _I can't imagine I'll have to wait very long._

 

Shortly afterwards, the two teams took off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Lady Luck was Lando's ship in the EU. Now our heroes have a new goal to aim for, and Ben and Rey will have to resort to just Forceskype for a while. Poor kids.


	25. Uncle Luke Drops By

"Exactly how is Kylo Ren going to be able to go anywhere without being immediately recognized?" Finn asked as they made their way to the Mos Eisley Cantina on Tatooine hours later.

 

"He's not going in as Kylo Ren," Lando said patiently. "He's going in as Prince Ben Solo of New Alderaan. Even in a place like this royalty has its privileges."

 

"What?" Rose asked in confusion.

 

"Very few people in the galaxy know that Kylo and Ben Solo were one and the same," Lando said softly. "I knew it the first moment I met Kylo, but very few others do."

 

Ben said nothing. "Prince Ben" was a fiction. Of course, so was Kylo Ren. Ben Solo? He was a work in progress.

 

"Is that why we're wearing this … stuff?" Finn asked, pointing to the uniform that Lando had insisted he wear.

 

"Yes. You are now one of Prince Ben's loyal bodyguards. Your duty is to stand between him and any danger that might come his way. I'm his advisor. And Rose is his ..."

 

"Rose is my assistant," Ben said before Lando could imply something less innocent. The last thing he needed was to make Finn jealous … or possibly his wife.

 

"So that's what they're calling it these days," Lando teased, but there was still a hardness in his eyes that had not gone away from the moment they met in Cloud City.

 

 _He doesn't forgive me for Dad_ , Ben murmured. _I guess it's just as well._ "Are you trying to get me into trouble with my wife, Lando? Rose is a very lovely girl..."

 

Rose blushed at that. Finn scowled.

 

"... but not even the most indifferent royal would bring a courtesan to such a wretched hive of scum and villainy as this." Ben glared at the older man. "And what do you think Rey would say if it came back to her that it was implied I _had a courtesan_?"

 

"Are you scared of your wife, young Solo?"

 

"Sometimes," Ben admitted with disarming honesty. "But I also would never do anything to hurt her. In _any_ way." He was wearing a uniform much like Bail Organa had worn in the waning days of the Old Republic. Ben had never known his adoptive grandfather, of course; he tried not to think of the man very much as he was certain he would have been a disappointment to him.

 

Lando took a long measuring look of him, then nodded. "It will be as you say, Your Highness."

 

Ben rolled his eyes. "What are we doing here?"

 

"I made some inquiries. Your friend DJ apparently wound up on Tatooine."

 

"He's not my friend," Finn spat. "Do you know how many people died because he betrayed the Resistance?"

 

"Don't you mean the ones that the First Order killed?" Lando asked, and again his eyes flickered back to Ben.

 

"Why are you baiting him?" Rose asked softly. "Ben is our _friend._ "

 

"He is?" Lando asked surprised.

 

"Yeah, he is," Finn admitted. "He almost killed me- but he also protected me when he had no reason to do so. I know it's hard to believe, but he's changed. He's not Kylo."

 

Ben's gratitude showed in his eyes, but he didn't trust himself to speak. He realized just then how much he wanted others- people other than Rey and his mother- to believe that he _had_ changed … almost as much as he wanted to believe that himself.

 

Lando said nothing for a moment. "Anyway, this DJ guy is here. Tatooine is a good place to get lost in. It's far enough away from everything that not even the First Order cares much about what goes on here, but not so far you can't get to anywhere important."

 

"I'm looking forward to seeing DJ again," Finn said, his handsome features twisted with anger.

 

"Finn ..." Rose said. She cast a worried glance at Ben.

 

"We need him, Finn," Ben told him with unaccustomed gentleness. "Believe me, I know what you're feeling. But we need a slicer, and he's good."

 

"And afterwards …?"

 

"We'll keep an eye on him. I said we need him." Ben clasped the other man's shoulder. "I didn't say that we were going to need him forever. If he crosses us this time, he won't get a chance to do it again."

 

"'Us?'" An amused voice said. "Your priorities have definitely changed, haven't they, Ben? The fearsome Kylo Ren is now nothing more than rebel scum."

 

Ben sighed. He knew that voice. "Hello, Luke."

 

"I told you that I'd be seeing you again, kid," the Force Ghost of Luke Skywalker said with an amused smiled. "Bet this didn't go the way you expect."

 

"Oh please."

 

"What is it, Ben?" Rose asked him in concern, laying a hand on his shoulder.

 

"My uncle is here."

 

"Your Uncle?" Finn asked.

 

"Luke Skywalker."

 

"But he's dead!" Lando said angrily. "Leia told me he's dead!"

 

"He is. He's a Force Ghost."

 

"A what?"

 

"Jedi Masters can endure after death," Ben said shortly. "Luke apparently achieved this. And now he's decided to drop by for a visit. Can we do this at another time?"

 

"No we can't. This is important, Ben."

 

"I'm on a mission, old man. I don't have time for someone else to list my many failings."

 

"That's good. I'm not here for that. I'm here to tell you that you will need to pick up something from Ben Kenobi's cave."

 

"How would I even find Obi-Wan's cave?" Ben asked in exasperation. "What is it- you're wanting me to do there? Is that part of my penance- to have every Jedi Master who exists in the Force tell me just how badly I kriffed up?"

 

"Don't whine, Ben. You're not a child. You're a married man." Luke's eyes blazed. "Now are you going to listen to me or do I have to figure out how to hit you upside the head without a body?"

 

"Ben … people are looking at us," Rose said worriedly.

 

"Fine, fine. Tell me what I'm going to Obi-Wan's cave for, Luke. So I get back to the important business of trying to …" _make up for being a monster._

 

"You will find a map-"

 

"A _map?_ Are you kriffing kidding me?!"

 

"This map will lead you to the Kaiburr Crystal."

 

"I thought that was a legend," Ben said in surprise. "We used to ask you about it at the Academy but you never confirmed its existence."

 

"That's because there were some … embarrassing memories attached about your mother-"

 

"Oh Force. I really don't want to hear about you and my mother, Uncle Luke."

 

Lando's face twisted in a most amusing fashion.

 

"The Crystal is real, Ben. And it's important." Luke looked at him. "It can help you."

 

"Help the Resistance you mean?"

 

"Do you really hate listening to one side of a conversation?" Finn asked no one in particular. "Because I really do."

 

"You, Ben. You, Rey- and your unborn children."

 

Ben gaped at him. "You're saying Rey is pregnant?!"

 

Luke smirked. "Congratulations, Ben. You're going to be a father."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At this point is anyone really surprised?


	26. JAKKU

Jakku.

 

At one point Rey had thought that she would only leave this place with her parents … with her family. Now … now she was coming back with a new family. It wasn't the family that lonely girl had dreamed about all those lonely years of exile, but it was the family she needed.

 

Even so, she felt a twinge of fear. _I know they would never abandon me here … and that if something happened Ben_ _ **would**_ _come for me, but it's still hard to let go of that lost little girl …_

 

Leia had insisted they make a stop at Rey's old AT-AT home. As Rey had expected, there wasn't much left- anything of value had been stripped by other scavengers. Even so, she was pleased to find that her Rebel Doll had survived. She picked it up and held it.

 

Okay. It smelled worse than she remembered.

 

"It can be cleaned," Leia told her in her new monotone voice from the Darth Vader helmet that she wore. It wasn't his voice any longer- it was female- but it definitely did not sound like Leia. "You should save it to give your own children some day and tell them the story about the brave girl who saved a prince in distress."

 

"We saved each other," Rey murmured. Nevertheless, she tucked the doll into her supply pack.

 

The others looked at her old home with varying degrees of sympathy and pity. Poe hugged her. "You're amazing, Rey."

 

Rey blushed. "I did what I had to survive."

 

"You didn't just survive," Leia told her. "You became what all of us needed."

 

Poe and even Brea nodded silent agreement.

 

Rey felt her blush grow deeper. "You guys … let's go get some ships."

 

"I'm glad Ben wasn't here to see this," Leia murmured softly. "He would not take it well."

 

Rey stopped. "He's stronger than you give him credit for."

 

"He has his father's heart."

 

That left a silence between them all as they made their way down to Unkar Plutt's shanty town.

 

Rey was saddened but not surprised to see how many of the scavengers she had known before she left were already gone. It had only been weeks, but Jakku was a hard world; you fought to live or you died.

 

She glanced at the fleet of ships that Unkar Plutt had assembled. None of them were in the _Falcon's_ class- none of them were true warships- but they were a few freighters that would serve to carry their Battledroid army once they had assembled it.

 

 _Ben,_ she whispered into the Force.

 

 _Yes, Rey?_ He practically purred her name into the Force.

 

_We're on Jakku. We're about to get the ships. Have you made it to Alderaan yet?_

 

_Not yet. We found the Slicer. But we have to stop by Kenobi's cave before we head off to Alderaan. Seems that dear old Uncle Luke wants us to pick up a map-_

 

 _Really?_ Her frustration spiked through the Force causing Leia to look at her even though the older woman couldn't perceive exactly what Rey was saying to Ben.

 

_Yes. It won't take that long. Once we have the map, we should be able to reach Alderaan in plenty of time. I miss you._

 

 _It's only been a few hours,_ she reminded him. _But … I miss you too. I should probably get my mind back on my business._

 

_All right. Talk to you soon, love. Goodbye._

 

_Goodbye._

 

"Well, well, look who the Jawa dragged back," Unkar Plutt drawled. "Little Rey the Nobody."

 

Rey flinched in spite of herself.

 

Chewbacca growled. _"I'll tear his arm off."_

 

"You know, I kind of wish Ben _was_ here," Poe said in a conversational tone of voice. "I have a feeling his old training could come in quite handy."

 

"Enough, children. Rey knows her value." Leia walked towards Unkar Plutt. She was an intimidating figure in her new armored form. "We have come to make a deal with you, Unkar Plutt. But if you insult my daughter in law one more time I will _help_ the Wookie tear your arms off."

 

"Daughter in law?" Unkar Plutt asked blankly. "Who would ever marry her?"

 

"The Prince of New Alderaan," Leia said. "Rey is a Jedi Knight. She saved my son from the First Order, and they fell in love. I am Leia Organa. I represent the Resistance. We have come to buy your ships."

 

"What will you use for credits?"

 

"You have my word you will be repaid for your generosity."

 

"I can't eat words. I can't feed words to my scavengers. You have no idea."

 

"Then we'll take the ships," Rey said. She resisted the urge to gloat.

 

"You can't do that!" Unkar Plutt protested.

 

"We can and we will. Poe, Brea, check them out. Make sure to pick the most reliable. Chewbacca, if he moves, tear his arms off. Rey, come with me." Leia gathered her cloak and walked away from the anguished Plutt.

 

Rey followed her. "Why did you tell him that story?"

 

"It's true … from a certain point of view."

 

"Ben came to help us of his own accord."

 

"Listen to me, Rey." Leia took her daughter in law's hands. "The Galaxy cannot know that Ben was once Kylo Ren. We did not reveal that information in the Resistance, and for reasons of his own Snoke made sure not to broadcast it as well."

 

"What harm can it do now?"

 

"We need allies, Rey. How many do you think we would have if it came out that Kylo Ren is now part of the Resistance?"

 

"He came back from the Dark Side! It's a sign of his power! If Ben can do it, then so can the rest of the Galaxy!" Rey glared at her. "You want to make him sound like a _victim!_ You want to make him- to make _us_ \- live a lie!"

 

"Saving the Galaxy isn't all roses and song, Rey. We have an obligation- and people won't trust Ben if they think he's been the monster threatening them all this time. I'm his mother. I only want what's best for him."

 

"What's best for him- or what's best for _your Resistance?_ "

 

"We all have to make sacrifices, Rey." Leia paused. "Lando suggested it to me."

 

"And of course Lando is wise."

 

"You don't like him."

 

"He doesn't like Ben."

 

"He has reason. He and Han were the best of friends. They had their moments, but in the end they were like brothers. He's finding it very hard to forgive Ben."

 

"I'm not entirely sure you have either."

 

"Ben is my son. I love him."

 

"That doesn't mean you've forgiven him." Rey sighed. "I'm sorry, Leia. I know that I'm being a bit of a she-bantha here. It's not a bad strategy, but I wish you had told me about this before you just blurted this out. Have you talked to Ben about it?"

 

"No. Lando is taking care of that. I think that's why he went along with Ben."

 

"Lando is very … fond of you, isn't he?"

 

"We've known each other a long time." Leia's modulated voice did not betray emotion, but Rey thought she sensed something. "What are you smiling about?"

 

"Nothing, Leia. Nothing." Rey smiled. "Nothing at all."

 

Both Brea and Poe went over the ships, searching for two that would fit their plans. It didn't take long after that for them to lift off.

 

"A pleasure doing business with you, Unkar Plutt," Leia said. "For your own sake, I suggest you consider having more equitable dealings with your employees in the future. One never knows when w may make a return visit."

 

Chewbacca growled at the man. _"We should kill him."_

 

"He's not a good man," Rey said. "But we're not monsters. We can't just kill him. It wouldn't be right." Rey looked at the man who had tormented her for so long. "But I _will_ come back, Unkar. I will return to see how you treat these people. And if I don't likewhat I see-" She ignited her light saber and held it under his nose. "We will have words."

 

She turned and walked away. After a moment, Chewbacca and the others followed her.

 

Unkar Plutt watched her go with a burning hatred in his heart. He waited until he was certain they were gone, and then went inside his hut to his com unit. He flipped through the frequencies until he found the one he needed.

 

"This is Unkar Plutt of Jakku," he growled. "I want to make a deal with the First Order. I can tell you how to find Leia Organa and the Last Jedi."

 

And after a moment, he got an answer.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The deleted scenes say that Chewie DID rip off Unkar Plutt's arm in Maz's cantina, but I'm not sure if that should considered be canon. It seems to me the the risks of leaving would outweigh the gain of getting a ship back and revenge on Rey. He just seemed too small time for that.


	27. Two Bens

Sometimes Ben felt certain that the Force had a sense of humor, and that he was destined to be the butt of some long running joke that began with Anakin Skywalker. How else could his life have wound like this? Back on Tatooine … back at Mos Eisley … and in the same cantina where Luke and his namesake had met his father.

 

Dad...

 

Ben was trying very hard not to think too much about Han Solo. Of all the murders that Kylo Ren had done, Han's had been the one that wounded him the most. He could still see his father falling … still feel Chewbacca's bowcaster bolt striking his side …

 

And now everything that happened seemed to remind him of Han more and more.

 

Especially Luke's proclamation that Rey was pregnant. It wasn't exactly a surprise, all things considered, but having a child … _children?_... in the middle of a war was not exactly good timing. And their children were practically guaranteed to be strong in the Force ….

 

And they would never know their grandfather because of him …

 

With an effort, he pushed the despair away.

 

Should he tell Rey? He was positive that she didn't know yet. She would have told him right away. It wasn't in her nature to keep secrets.

 

Or should he let her tell him?

 

 _I'll let her tell me,_ Ben decided. _It should be her right. She's had so much taken from her. I won't let her lose that too._

 

The cantina was darker than the blinding daylight outside. Ben knew that this was to give its patrons time to see who walked through the door before they could identify anyone inside. Ben reached through the Force, searching for any obvious signs of danger.

 

This truly was the wretched hive of scum and villainy that Obi-Wan Kenobi had talked about. He could feel murderous thoughts and intentions practically everywhere. His hand went automatically to his belt where his light saber was attached.

 

"Don't be too quick to use that weapon, young Solo," Lando whispered in his ear. "If we're going to convince the Galaxy that Kylo Ren and Ben Solo are not one in the same we can't have you murdering everyone who annoys you with that blade."

 

Ben bit back an angry retort. The older man was right, much as he hated to admit it. But a lifetime of training and his own instincts- honed by both Luke and Snoke- had impressed upon the need to defend himself at a moment's notice. And his light saber was as much a part of that defense as his own right arm. "You're not my father, Lando."

 

"I'm well aware of that, young Solo." Lando looked about. "Finn, do you see this slicer of yours?"

 

"Not yet." Finn was next to Rose, not touching her but glaring at the crowd of men who were staring at her as though they hadn't seen a woman in years. "I need to mingle. But-"

 

"I can take of myself, Finn," Rose said indignantly.

 

"We'll watch out for her, Finn," Lando promised.

 

Ben nodded.

 

"I was looking out for myself long before you _men_ showed up," Rose told them all angrily. She stormed up to the bar. "I want a drink- and don't give me any kriff."

 

Ben made a promise to Finn with his eyes. The ex-Stormtrooper nodded and went searching.

 

Ben sidled up to the bar. "I'll have what she's having." He waited for his drink. He had made a practice of avoiding alcohol as Kylo Ren, but there was enough Solo in him to have imbibed more than once as a younger man. "It's just because he cares about you."

 

"I know that. But just because I'm not Rey that doesn't mean that I need to be cuddled like a Porg," Rose said firmly.

 

"No one expects you to be Rey. She's one of a kind." Ben laid his hand over Rose's and gave it a quick squeeze. "But there's also only one Rose Tico. And we don't want to lose her either."

 

Rose flashed him a quick smile.

 

He let her hand go and took his drink. "When I was a kid, I used to beg my father to take me here. I wanted to see this place. It's where it all began. Where Luke and Obi-Wan met my father and Chewbacca. The whole end of the Empire began here."

 

"And if Han hadn't met Luke you never would have been born," Rose murmured softly.

 

"Yes." Even as Kylo Ren, he wondered if the Galaxy would have been better off if he had never been born. Now … he still wasn't sure.

 

"It was for a reason, Ben."

 

"What?"

 

"Everything that happened. Everything you did as Kylo Ren. It happened for a reason. I believe that."

 

"That makes one of us."

 

"You came back, Ben. You came back. That's the important thing. And we're all glad that you did." She smiled. "Especially Rey."

 

Ben smiled.

 

"Rey always makes you smile."

 

"Yes." He took a careful sip of his drink. "Just like Finn does for you."

 

Rose blushed. "And speak of the devil, here he is."

 

Finn nodded to them both. "Found him. In the back. Apparently gambling really is his vice." He frowned. "One of them."

 

"Did he see you?" Lando asked.

 

"No. I don't think so."

 

"Good. Let me do the talking. Stand behind young Solo. He's tall enough that DJ won't see you and Rose until it's too late."

 

"I like the sound of 'too late'," Finn said darkly.

 

"We need him alive," Lando reminded him.

 

"I know."

 

With Lando in the lead, the four of them made their way to the back. There were guards in front of the private chamber. Big, thick men with spears. They glared at Lando.

 

"Hello," Lando said smoothly. "I'm here with the Prince of New Alderaan. We have business with one of the players."

 

The Guard grunted at him.

 

Lando glanced at Ben.

 

 _"You will let us pass and warn no one,_ "Ben whispered.

 

"We will let you pass and warn no one," the Guards repeated together.

 

They walked into the room. Music was playing. Dice were rolling. And DJ was sitting at a table with a pretty girl on either side of him.

 

"Hello, DJ," Finn said in a voice filled with barely concealed anger.

 

DJ looked up. "F-finn? I t-thought you were-"

 

"Dead?" Finn asked him with a smirk. "Not quite."

 

"Hello, DJ," Rose added, giving him a wave. For a change, the girl's face was hard with anger.

 

Ben caught the eyes of the girls and other players. _"Leave."_

 

The others got up and walked out of the room.

 

"I could have done so much with an ability like that," Lando observed. "You're a hard man to find, DJ."

 

"I g-get around." He was looking at Ben.

 

"This is Prince Ben Solo of New Alderaan," Lando said. "He requires your services."

 

DJ looked up at him. "That's n-not your only n-name is it?"

 

It figured that DJ would know the truth. He had done business with the First Order. That was perhaps not a bad thing if it meant that he was more willing to cooperate with them.

 

Ben nodded. "We have a job for you."

 

"H-how much will it p-pay?"

 

"You get to live." Ben looked down at the man.

 

"And you have no idea how hard I argued against that," Finn told him tightly.

 

"I did what I h-had to, k-kid. It wasn't p-personal."

 

"You l-left us to d-die," Rose whispered. "How could you do that. When you gave me my necklace back I thought you were-"

 

"Your f-friend? A g-good m-man?" DJ asked her. He gave her a lopsided smile. "I'm s-sorry to d-disappoint y-you."

 

And for a moment it seemed like that he might have been sincere about that.

 

"You're coming with us," Lando told him. "We you help us with a slicing job, and then you can go back to your life of sin and debauchery."

 

"And if I r-refuse?" DJ asked.

 

Ben fingered the hilt of his light saber. "Guess."

 

"S-sounds l-like I'm j-joining y-you."

 

"Smart man," Lando said with a smile. "Let's go."

 

They walked out into the main cantina.

 

"Ten t-thousand c-credits to w-whoever k-kills them!" DJ pointed at Ben and the others.

 

"I _knew_ he'd pull something!" Finn said as he flipped a charging patron.

 

Lando pulled his blaster and began firing. For an older man, he was surprisingly good at ducking and dodging attacks.

 

Ben forced himself to resist the urge to draw his light saber. He grabbed a bottle off the bar and smashed it over the head of one patron and then punched another. "A barroom brawl. Dad would be so proud."

 

Lando flashed him a rare grin. "I'm sure he would."

 

"Look out!" Finn cried, shoving Ben to the ground- just in time to avoid a spear being tossed at his head.

 

Ben glanced up and saw the spear had grazed Finn's shoulder. "You idiot," he hissed. He stood up and drew his light saber, igniting the blood red blade. He glared at the crowd as he moved his weapon in practiced form. "The next one of you that tries to hurt my friends dies." He glanced over at DJ and raised his hand

 

DJ gasped and clutched his throat.

 

"If _he_ died I would have cut you to ribbons."

 

"Ben," Rose said urgently. "Remember, we need him."

 

Ben dropped his hand and DJ gasped in relief.

 

"We're leaving now," Lando told the mob. "Let us go in peace or wind up in pieces."

 

"Are you all right?" Rose asked Finn.

 

"I'm fine," Finn told her. "It just grazed me." He glanced at Ben. "So much for being subtle."

 

"Subtle is boring. And I'm not patient."

 

"That's the truth," Finn said with a nod.

 

"Why did you do that?" Ben asked him finally. "You could have been killed."

 

"So could you."

 

"I could have stopped the spear if I had seen it."

 

"You didn't see it." Finn cocked an eyebrow. "Why did you go all Kylo Ren just now? That's sure to get back to the First Order."

 

"You didn't have to try to save me, Finn," Ben said, ignoring his question. "I don't want you risking your life to protect me. Rey will understand if something happens-"

 

"I didn't do it for Rey!" Finn snapped, embarrassed.

 

"What?" Ben stared at him in confusion.

 

"He did it the same reason you busted out your light saber, Ben," Rose told him softly. "He didn't want to see anything happen to his friend."

 

..*..

 

They made their way back to the secondhand landspeeder that Lando had dug up for them. "So back to the ship?" he asked.

 

"No. We have to go find Kenobi's cave," Ben said with a sigh. "Because my sadistic Force Ghost of an uncle wants me to pick up another map."

 

 _Ben._ Rey's voice was like a sip of cold water on this hellishly hot world.

 

 _Yes, Rey?_ He practically purred her name.

 

_We're on Jakku. We're about to get the ships. Have you made it to Alderaan yet?_

 

_Not yet. We found the Slicer. But we have to stop by Kenobi's cave before we head off to Alderaan. Seems that dear old Uncle Luke wants us to pick up a map-_

 

 _Really?_ Rey's frustration was obvious, and Ben honestly shared it.

 

 _Yes. It won't take that long. Once we have the map, we should be able to reach Alderaan in plenty of time. I miss you._ He hoped he didn't sound like he was whining.

 

 _It's only been a few hours,_ she reminded him. _But … I miss you too. I should probably get my mind back on my business._

 

_All right. Talk to you soon, love. Goodbye._

 

_Goodbye._

 

"You d-do know it's d-dangerous out t-here?" DJ asked them. "There are Tusken Raiders out there who'd k-kill us as soon as l-look at us!"

 

"We'll be fine," Finn shot back. "We plan on using you as a human shield."

 

DJ glared at him but had the sense not to push it.

 

"How will we find Kenobi's cave?" Lando asked. "I don't think Luke's been back here since we saved Han, and that was more than 30 years ago. Are you sure that map he wants you to find is still there?"

 

"I assume so. He wouldn't have told us to look if it weren't." Ben frowned. "As to how to find it, let's head for the mountains. That's where the caves would have to be. We need to hurry. Rey and the others have just about picked up the ships and should be on their way to Alderaan soon."

 

"How do you know-?" Rose asked him.

 

Ben tapped his head.

 

"Oh that."

 

They headed off into the mountains. They were nearly an hour out from Mos Eisley when Ben began to feel a presence in the Force. It wasn't someone that he had ever met before, he was certain … but it was obviously a powerful Force Ghost.

 

His pulse quickened. Was this grandfather at last? "Lando, let me have the controls. I know where to go now."

 

"Be my guest."

 

Ben wasn't sure what to feel. Elation? Fear? Was it Darth Vader or Anakin Skywalker he would be meeting? Would either of them want to speak with him now?

 

Of course they did. They would not have manifested themselves here if they hadn't.

 

In short order, they arrived at a cave. The opening was half clogged with sand, but it had undeniably once been a human habitation.

 

The Force Ghost was inside.

 

"Wait here. I won't be long."

 

"You sure that's a good idea?" Finn asked him.

 

"I'm sure. I'll be fine. This shouldn't take more than few minutes." He gestured at DJ. "And keep an eye on him. I don't trust him not to pull something."

 

"Be careful, Ben!" Rose called out.

 

He smiled at her. "I will be."

 

Lando watched all of this with a blank expression on his face. "Hurry it up, young Solo. We don't have all day."

 

Ben nodded and waded through the sand and into the cave. "Grandfather-?"

 

"I'm afraid not."

 

The man was old, Ben saw. White haired, but a shining power in the Force. "My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi."

 

Ben stared at him. He felt an obscure sense of shame. This was not Anakin Skywalker, but it was the closest he'd ever been. "I must be an immense disappointment to you."

 

The words came out without his meaning to say them.

 

"You have made many mistakes, Ben Solo." The face of the Force Ghost was cold and implacable. "At the time, I thought Rey made a terrible mistake in sparing you."

 

"I know."

 

"I was wrong." Kenobi's lips twitched into a smile. "It wouldn't be the first time. Luke was certain that good remained in Darth Vader- that the spirit of Anakin Skywalker had not totally vanished. I was positive that Luke was going to his death when he went to Vader that last time. But I was wrong. There _was_ still good in Anakin. As there was in you."

 

Ben nodded. There were no words left for him to say.  "Luke said there's a map here."

 

"Yes. Luke returned here to create his own light saber. He left a map to the Kaiburr Crystal here- in case it would ever be needed."

 

"And now is that time?"

 

"It draws close." Obi-Wan gestured to a workbench. "The data crystal is there. Take it with my blessings."

 

"Thank you." Ben pocketed the data crystal.

 

"Ben? This plan of yours?"

 

"Yes?"

 

"It won't go the way you think."

 

Ben snorted. "At this point I'd be surprised if anything did."

 

Obi-Wan smiled. "You should go. Your friends are waiting for you. May the Force be with you."

 

"And with you- always." Ben paused. "Is Grandfather- you know what? Never mind. It doesn't matter."

 

And he walked out.

 


	28. Alderaan System Showdown

Few people came to the asteroid belt that had once been the world of Alderaan. A space station had been set up to serve as a kind of memorial, but few of the surviving Alderaanians could bear to come more than once to their lost home world.

 

Leia had taken a young Ben Solo there once as a child. He had cried for days afterwards- the Force still echoed with the cries of a lost world in this place. He had never returned- even as Kylo Ren, he had avoided this place.

 

Perhaps that was why Palpatine had hidden his droid army here. That this place, site of one of the Empire's greatest atrocities, was a fitting location for a rem anent of what had started his rise to power.

 

"Rey and the others will be here soon," Ben told the others as they made their way to one of the largest of the asteroids. "Once we get inside, we'll need DJ to slice the doors open."

 

"W-we have yet to discuss my f-fee," DJ muttered.

 

Finn pointed a blaster at his head. "Just give me an excuse, DJ. There are other slicers. Sooner or later we'll find one that will help us out."

 

"In time to save your little R-resistance?" DJ asked with a smirk.

 

"Serve us in this and you will be well rewarded," Ben finally told him. "Betray us and I will not be a happy man" He ignited his light saber. "And I will not forgive."

 

"You would do well to listen to young Solo," Lando told the slicer confidentially. "His grandfather was a hard negotiator. I found that out the hard way."

 

Ben held his light saber under DJ's nose. "Remember."

 

"I h-hear you." For once, the slicer looked cowed.

 

Lando brought the _Lady Luck_ into the concealed entrance of the secret base. "The automated defenses will probably start once we try to enter the vault, but life support is already activating. Should we take air masks?"

 

"It wouldn't hurt," Ben decided. "No telling what sort of surprises the Emperor might have left behind."

 

"D-do we wait for the o-others before I g-get to w-work?" DJ asked, eyeing a nearby control panel.

 

"They're coming now." Ben smiled.

 

The _Millennium Falcon_ came in for a landing beside the _Lady Luck._ Within seconds, the landing door opened and Rey raced out of the ship and launched herself into Ben's arms. He lifted her up and they kissed passionately.

 

"They're newlyweds," Lando said by way of explanation to the puzzled slicer.

 

Leia came down at a more sedate pace, her Darth Vader armor causing DJ to do a double take. "Lando, Rose- boys. It's good to see you all. I trust it went well?"

 

"There was a bar fight!" Rose said excitedly.

 

"Why am I not surprised?" Leia asked, looking at her son who shrugged eloquently.

 

"Where's Poe and the others?" Finn asked worriedly.

 

"Their ships are slower than the _Falcon._ We didn't want to bring them in all at once in case the system is being watched." Leia's monotone voice held no emotion, but there was something in the way she moved. She looked tired. "I wonder what part of Alderaan this used to be?"

 

Ben took Rey's hand and walked over to his mother. There was still a distance between them- perhaps there always would be- but that didn't mean she wasn't important to him. "Mother?"

 

"Alderaan was a world dedicated to peace, and to find out after it was destroyed that it was being used by the Emperor to hide his Battledroids ..." Leia sighed.

 

"This changes nothing about your people, Leia," Lando said, coming to her side. He took one of her hands. "Palpatine destroyed Alderaan, but he didn't destroy her people. He didn't win."

 

"No," Leia said in a firmer tone of voice. "He didn't. But some battles … some battles must be fought over and over."

 

"There will be balance," Rey told them all, holding one of Ben's hands. "The Galaxy won't always be at war."

 

..*..

 

 _A bar fight?_ Rey asked him as they walked back to the control panel.

 

 _Yes. DJ attempted to have us killed- or at least beaten up- in a bar fight in order to escape us._ He paused. _I promise I didn't kill anyone._

 

 _That's good,_ Rey said approvingly. _Chewie wanted to tear Plutt's arms off, but I told him no._

 

A vision of Plutt dragging young Rey away from the ship her parents used to abandon her flashed through Ben's mind. _I probably would have helped him._

 

_I know. Ben- when this is over- when the First Order is defeated-_

 

_Yes?_

 

_Can we go back to Jakku? I want …_

 

 _What do you want, Rey?_ He knew that he would give her anything. Revenge or justice- he wasn't sure that it particularly mattered to him. If Rey wanted it, it couldn't be wrong.

 

_I want to help them. The others like me._

 

 _We will,_ Ben promised her. _When the Galaxy is safe we can spend the rest of our lives making sure that there are no more Unkar Plutts taking care of the people who can't defend themselves._

 

 _There aren't any nobodies, Ben,_ Rey told him softly. _Everyone is someone- that's what I've learned._

 

 _You're right,_ Ben reassured her. In the beginning … after Luke's betrayal, he had told himself that it was all in pursuit of a noble goal. That the lives he took were insignificant- that the "peace" the First Order would impose would justify such things.

 

It never had. It never could.

 

_Everyone matters, Rey. You taught me that._

 

Rose was keeping a close eye on DJ as he worked. She was not as outright hostile as Finn, but she was the one who had the knowledge to be able to tell if the slicer was betraying them.

 

 _That's a pretty dress Rose is wearing,_ Rey observed.

 

Ben felt instantly alert to danger. _Yes. Yes it is._

 

_And your own outfit- I wouldn't have thought you'd look so good in white._

 

_Thanks- I think?_

 

_Do you think I would look as pretty in that dress as Rose does?_

 

 _Rey, you would look beautiful in_ _ **anything.**_ He was on safe ground here. _Or nothing at all._

 

She giggled. _Well, I think that I prefer you in black, but it's good to know that you can carry off other colors. Did Lando talk to you..._ _ **Prince Ben?**_

 

_About the story that they want to tell about us? That Kylo Ren and Ben Solo are two different people?_

 

Even for Rey, it was hard to tell what Ben's tone meant. _I don't like it, but I understand why Leia believes its necessary._

 

 _Me too._ Ben's gaze went to Poe and the others. _It means that they won't get their chance for justice. They won't see me on trial._

 

_I don't think they want that. I don't sense hatred from them for you at all now- Finn... Finn seems to_ _**care** _ _about you._

 

 _We're … friends._ It's a hard thing for Ben to admit to. Not because he didn't want friends- he had wanted that desperately before he became Kylo Ren- but because he found it hard to believe that anyone would ever be able to forgive him enough to _become_ friends with him.

 

 _Are you all right with this?_ Rey touched her husband's arm.

 

 _I … it seems dishonest. But Mother's right. For the sake of the Resistance it cannot become public knowledge that I'm Kylo Ren._ He allowed himself the honesty to amend, _that I_ _ **was**_ _Kylo Ren._

 

 _I don't like politics,_ Rey confessed. _I prefer a straight and simple fight._

 

 _Nothing has been simple in my life since I met you,_ Ben told her with a smile. _And I wouldn't want it any other way._

 

She kissed him.

 

"And w-we're in," DJ announced. "Antiquated technology can be harder than m-modern."

 

A door slid open.

 

"I'll take the lead," Ben declared. "Rey will guard our backs. The rest of you go in between us."

 

Finn took a protective position near Rose while Ben was surprised to see that Lando did something similar for his mother. Chewbacca himself took a position behind Ben.

 

" _Rey can take care of herself,_ " Chewie grunted. " _You may need my help more."_

 

Ben smiled. "Thank you." _Chewie cares for me. After everything I've done, he still cares._

 

Ben walked through the door. "There must be another exit. They wouldn't want the Droids to have to board a transport single file like this."

 

There was light, but it was very dim. The reactors must have been on standby mode. It wasn't a lot of light, but it was enough to see. Ben didn't want to ignite his light saber until they absolutely had to. It was entirely possible that the Emperor had left some sort of traps behind that might be activated by a light saber. He sent Rey a silent warning.

 

 _You should have let me lead,_ Rey told him. _I made my living learning how to find my way through Imperial wrecks. I'm probably more familiar with this layout than you are._

 

 _You're right. You're also a smaller target._ _Next time I'll let you be in charge of looting._

 

 _It's not looting when it's abandoned,_ Rey reminded him sternly.

 

 _Yes, dear._ "There's a central control unit that we can use to program the Battledroids. It can also serve as an emergency shutdown if we need it to." Ben looked around. _Obi-Wan said things wouldn't go as planned. What could he mean by that?_

 

_Who's Obi-Wan?_

 

_Luke's old teacher. Darth Vader killed him. I'm named after him._

 

_Wonderful. When we have children, let's not name them after anyone._

 

 _That sounds like a plan._ He carefully hid his knowledge of what Luke had told him- that they were going to be parents possibly sooner than Rey realized.

 

And then he felt it.

 

"Oh, kriff."

 

"What is it?" Leia asked him.

 

"Knights," Rey said, her breathing in perfect sync with her husband. "Two of them are approaching."

 

"Yes. Royce and Nippet." Ben ignited his light saber. "The rest of you work on getting the Battledroids ready." He smiled ruefully. "Nippet is the greatest duelist I've ever seen, and Royce is no slouch himself. I can't win against them both, but I can hold them off long enough for the Droids to be ready."

 

"You really want to sleep on the couch again, don't you?" Rey ignited her own light saber. "I'm not about to let you go off and get yourself killed."

 

"Hadn't planned on it. That's why I want those Battledroids up and running. Chewie, if DJ even THINKS about betraying us, tear his arms off."

 

_"I'm looking forward to that. He stinks!"_

 

"Yes he does." Ben walked back towards the entrance. "Be careful, Rey."

 

"I'm always careful. You're the reckless one."

 

"They're very good. Especially Nippet. Don't underestimate her when you see her."

 

"If she can serve as a Knight of Ren with the name of 'Nippet' she'll have to be good."

 

There were two TIE fighters in the landing bay. The two Knights of Ren were waiting for them. Royce, with his purple light saber, Nippet with her orange one.

 

Rey stared. "Nippet is an Ewok."

 

"Yes. Yes she is. I told you not to underestimate her." Ben raised his light saber. "Royce. Nippet. How did you find us?"

 

"Your friends were sloppy. As soon as they left Plutt sold us the tracking signal for the ships they stole." Royce raised his sword. "Sheeva said you've gotten soft, Kylo."

 

"It's Ben now, actually." Ben swung his light saber. "And Sheeva wound up missing her hands if you haven't heard. And also short three other Knights. I don't suppose the two of you would consider walking away?" He sighed. "I really don't want to kill either of you."

 

And he didn't.

 

They weren't exactly friends, but they had followed him. They had stood with him when the rest of Luke's students had turned against him. They had been his only allies once upon a time.

 

 _"Traitor!"_ Nippet said in Ewokese.

 

"Nippet's right … Ben. You betrayed us. You know the penalty for that." Royce spun his light saber about. "I always thought your reputation was overblown, 'Master of the Knights of Ren.'"

 

"You're welcome to try and prove yourself my better, Royce." _Be careful with Nippet, Rey. She'll probably go after you. Don't worry about beating her. We just have to keep them busy._

 

Rey set her jaw. _I can take her._

 

Ben sighed. _Don't get cocky._ "Are we really going to do this, Royce?"

 

"You left us. You chose her." Royce raised his light saber. "There's only one answer to that."

 

It stung, but Ben refused to be baited. He was stronger than Royce, but not so much that he could afford to lose his head. "Fine."

 

Nippet suddenly launched herself at Rey, the Force giving her agility and speed that no other Ewok would have been capable of. Her blade was aimed at Rey's head.

 

"Kriff!" Rey barely managed to dodge the blow and then mounted a counterattack, pushing the Ewok Knight back.

 

That was all the time that Ben had for watching before Royce launched his own attack. Royce was faster, darting to and fro, trying to break through Ben's defenses. Ben opened himself up to the Force, reaching out it to give him strength in his arms, speed in his legs.

 

Ben had never been the most agile duelist. He wasn't like Rey who had learned how to dodge and weave because she was generally smaller, lighter, and often weaker than her opponents. He tended to overpower his enemies.

 

As long as Royce had room to maneuver, he had a chance to beat Ben. So he tried to keep their fight in the open. Ben, of course, tried to force the lighter man back into a corner so that he could overwhelm him with sheer power.

 

Nippet spun and danced around Rey, dodging her counterattacks and launching her own that Rey was hard pressed to avoid. _If only I had my staff,_ Rey thought to herself. _She's better than I am with a saber. I could lose._

 

_I could die._

 

Rey fought down the fear knowing that it would only distract her- and what's worse, distract Ben. _I need to take her from her area of strength and into mine._

 

Rey fell back, heading towards to the corridor.

 

Ben lashed out with a burst of strength, driving Royce back … the slender Knight tried to avoid being boxed in, but Ben refused to stand back, taking a few strikes that would have driven another man back. He held onto the pain and used it to make him stronger.

 

He was just about to drive his blood red blade through Royce's heart when he saw out of the corner of his eye:

 

Rey made it to the door. She stood in it and spun her light saber about to counter Nippet's blows. This was more akin to her first battle with Ben … with _Kylo._ Nippet could not go over or around her now. They would be facing each other head on.

 

She grabbed Nippet's sword hand just as she had once grabbed Kylo's and attempted to force the Ewok's blade down … only to discover to her horror that she had made a terrible mistake.

 

The Ewok was far stronger than she looked. Stronger than Ben.

 

Stronger than Rey.

 

Rey gasped in pain as her light saber fell from nerveless fingers. She struggled desperately to hold back Nippet's light saber with her other hand but it wasn't going to be enough …

 

"Rey!" Ben cried, and he hurled his light saber to her.

 

Rey caught the light saber and with one smooth motion decapitated the Ewok. She didn't have time to savor her victory. She leaped up over the body of the Ewok to see...

 

Ben had forgotten about his own personal safety. He had thrown his weapon to Rey without a second thought. As soon as he saw her catch it, he turned his attention back to Royce …

 

Only to have the Knight drive his purple light saber through Ben's chest.

 

"Rey," Ben whispered again.

 

And he fell.


	29. A Splinter of Hope

Rey gasped as though she felt the light saber enter her own chest. "Ben ..."

 

And then a terrible rage came to her. She called her own light saber to her and with her blade in her left hand and Ben's in her right she charged at the Knight of Ren.

 

Royce smirked as he waited her charge. If he could best the former Master of the Knights of Ren then this girl would be no challenge at all. He almost negligently held up his blade …

 

And Rey sheared his hands off with Ben's blade as Royce parried her own.

 

Royce stared at her in surprise.

 

Her face as hard as stone, Rey beheaded him in a scissor movement of both blades. She collapsed to her knees. "Ben ..."

 

"Rey ..."

 

Her eyes snapped open. She glanced over to Ben's body. The ugly hole in his chest did not bleed thanks to the cauterizing effects of the light saber, but she could still it through the white robes that Ben now wore. She could see his chest moving faintly …

 

_His chest moving …_

 

_Ben was still alive!_

 

Rey raced to his side. "Ben! Ben!"

 

"Rey," he looked at her with pain filled eyes. "It missed my heart." He closed his eyes again and sighed.

 

"Ben!" She held him tightly.

 

 _"Ben!"_ Chewbacca roared. The Wookie was the first to arrive. He raced to Rey and Ben's side, roaring in fear and dismay. He touched Ben's face and whined.

 

Leia was not exactly a swift runner these days burdened by both ill health and the cybernetic armor she now wore, but with Lando and Finn helping her, she arrived almost immediately after Chewie. She knelt down by Ben and touched his face with a gloved hand. "I don't understand. It missed his heart. He's young and strong- both physically and in the Force. Why is he-"

 

"He's dying," Rey whispered, stroking her husband's face. "He told me. When a Sith returns to the Light, they develop a nearly overwhelming death wish. Part of Ben feels that he _deserves_ to die, and it's dragging him down ..."

 

"No," Leia whispered. "I lost everyone else- I don't lose my son too. Not again. Help him!" She glared at Rey. "You're supposed to be a Jedi- _help_ him!"

 

"I don't know how," Rey whispered, her face wet with tears.

 

"But I do."

 

"Luke." The monotone of her suit's voice seemed to be so less so when she looked up the shimmering spirit of her brother. "Luke ..."

 

"Leia." Luke smiled at her. Then he turned to Rey. "You'll find a data crystal on Ben. It's a map to the Kaiburr Crystal."

 

"The Crystal," Leia murmured, her eyes going back to a time she seldom thought about any longer. It was a dangerous time … when she and Luke had not known they were family … when the connection between them had threatened to become something other than a familial one … "I remember it. It healed me."

 

"It saved your life. It healed your wounds. It can heal Ben- not just his physical injury, but the wound in his spirit."

 

"You knew this would happen?" Rey demanded. "Why didn't you warn him?!"

 

"I knew that something like this _could_ happen," Luke corrected. "Not even the dead can see the future, Rey. I knew that it was only a matter of time before something brought him to this crisis. The Crystal can heal Ben."

 

"Where is it?" Rey asked. "Where is this damn thing that can save my husband?"

 

"It's on Mimban. The Crystal lost power the farther away it got from the temple of Pomojema where we found it. Once I returned it, it began to regain its power. By now, it should be strong enough to save Ben."

 

"Right. Then we're going to Mimban."

 

"Ben will never live long enough to reach Mimban," Leia said grimly. "We can't put him in Cabonite either. The strain would kill him."

 

"I can sustain him through our bond," Rey told her. "I can keep him alive till we get there."

 

"The effort would exhaust you, and you'll need your strength to heal Ben." Luke looked at Leia. "You're the only one who can save Ben, Leia. You can share your strength with him. You have a bond with him too- the bond between mother and child."

 

"I can save Ben," Leia whispered.

 

"No!" Lando said angrily. "Leia I know Luke is here- at least I'm guessing that's what's happening. You can't do this. The strain of trying to keep Ben alive will kill you! The Resistance needs you to survive!" He paused. " _I_ need you to survive."

 

"Lando." Leia touched his face. "It's not your decision to make."

 

Finn knelt down beside Rey and hugged her. "We'll save him, Rey. I promise you we'll save him." He cast a worried look at Ben himself. "He can't die now."

 

"General Organa." Poe's voice broke the sudden silence. "This is Poe Dameron. Can you hear us, General?"

 

Leia touched her com unit. "This is Leia, Poe. Go ahead."

 

"Brea and I had to deal with some First Order fighters, but we're here. We can load up the Battledroids as soon as you're ready."

 

"You're in charge of that, Poe. As soon as Rose and the slicer have the Battledroids programmed, I want you to load them on board your freighters and get them to a safe location. We're leaving behind two TIE fighters you can use to guard the vault while theBattledroids are being loaded. I'm going with Rey, Chewbacca, and Ben on the _Falcon._ "

 

"Leia..." Lando whispered. "You _can't._ "

 

"I can. And I will." Leia glanced down at Ben. "Ben always believed that I put my career ahead of him. There was always another fight … another struggle … always something that seemed vital that only I take care of. Maybe he was right. Maybe I did put everything else ahead of him. I was doing it to protect him- but part of that was my own hubris- that if _I_ didn't do it, it wouldn't get done. No one is irreplaceable. Not for the Resistance. Poe can do this- Poe can lead the Resistance if it comes to that. But there is one thing that's true- I'm the only one who can help Rey save my son.

 

"I'm choosing him. This time, I'm choosing Ben."

 

"Plutt has the transponder signals of the _Falcon_ and the Freighters. That must be how the Knights found us. They tracked the ships."

 

"I can probably help with that," Lando said softly. "If someone can give me a hand I can probably disable or at least mask the signals. You pick up a few lessons being a scoundrel."

 

"All right," Finn said. "I'm going with you." He nodded to Rey.

 

"Finn, no. They need you here. _Rose_ needs you here."

 

"But you'll need backup-"

 

"We have Chewie. He's more than enough backup." Rey smiled at him. "You don't have to come to my rescue all time, Finn."

 

"I know," Finn admitted with a wry smile. "Old habits die hard." He gestured at Ben. "And I do want him to come back in one piece too."

 

Rey smiled. "I'm glad to hear that."

 

"The Crystal will magnify your power," Luke told Rey. "It can give you the strength to help Ben. It can give him the strength to overcome the last vestiges of the power of the Dark Side." He paused. "But anyone else within range of the Crystal will grow in power too- Light or Dark."

 

"So what you mean is if any of the Knights of Ren make it to Mimban … if they reach the Temple …."

 

"They will grow in power too." Luke paused.

 

"We'll just have to hope they don't know where we're going," Rey said softly. "Chewie, can you carry Ben into the _Falcon?_ "

 

For answer, the Wookie picked up Ben and gently him into the _Falcon._

 

"Poe, when the Battledroids are loaded, head to Hoth. It's our best choice for a base. We'll rendezvous there."

 

"Yes, General." Poe paused. "And good luck to you all. May the Force be with you."

 

"And with you as well," Leia said softly.

 

"Can you do it, General?" Rey asked her softly. "I can help you ..."

 

"Your task is to heal Ben once we get there, Rey," Leia told her gently. "Mine is to make sure that he lives till then. Let's go."

 

And with a lingering glance at Lando, Leia made her way into the _Falcon._

 

Rey hugged Finn one more time. "I'll see you soon." She nodded to Lando. "Goodbye, Governor."

 

"Godspeed, Jedi," he told her with a smile.

 

Rey took a deep breath and entered the _Falcon._ "All right, Chewie. Set course for Mimban!"

 

Now if only Leia could keep Ben alive until they got there...

 


	30. Hearts and Minds

They took Ben into what passed for a sickbay on the _Falcon._ They laid him down, and Rey took his hand. "Ben ..." she whispered.

 

"Rey." Leia hated the monotone of the suit. It stripped away all meaning from her words. How had Darth Vader managed to endure it for decades? "Rey, you need to help Chewbacca pilot. Keeping Ben alive is my task."

 

Rey stared at her with wounded eyes. Mistrustful eyes. Did she truly believe that she wouldn't fight to keep Ben alive? "He's your husband, but he's my son."

 

Rey nodded and kissed Ben. She squeezed his hand and then made her way towards the cockpit.

 

Leia sat down beside Ben and took one of his hands in her gloved ones. "Things have happened so fast, Ben. Just days ago you were Supreme Leader of the First Order, Master of the Knights of Ren, with the Galaxy ripe for the taking. You just had to stretch out your hand … and maybe you would have if _she_ hadn't been there."

 

She had a bond with Ben, too. It wasn't as strong as Rey's. It had been … once. Once she had known her child better than anyone in the universe. She had been his world. He had lived to please her, and his father Han. They had been so happy then …

 

It hadn't lasted.

 

She had not been a perfect mother. She knew that. She could not make Ben her whole world, no matter how much he had wanted her to. Han could not be the perfect, respectable father. He had a wander lust that would give him no peace. Ben had needed so much more from them than they had been able to give.

 

"For six years I imagined what I could have done differently, Ben," Leia told her son as she gathered the Force into herself. She had never taken Jedi training- so much of what she did was by instinct. But she knew she could do this. "What if I had stepped away from the Senate. What if I had told Han my fears when you were younger. What if I had gone with you to Luke's Academy. How many lives would have been saved … how much evil would never have happened … if I had just done the _right_ thing. It haunts me, Ben. Everything you've done- it always felt like I shared in the blame because I wasn't the mother I could have been.

 

"Maybe that's true. Maybe I am to blame. Maybe I should have been a better mother. Maybe I should never have had you at all." Her voice took on a harder edge. "Maybe Luke should have _killed_ you when he had the chance."

 

She stroked his face tenderly. "But I'm glad he didn't. I'm glad I had you. I am glad you were born. With all that you have done- all that you have cost me; all that you have taken from the Galaxy- I am glad you were born. I am glad you are alive."

 

"I love you, Ben. I have never stopped loving you. I will never stop loving you. That's what being a parent is. You love your child- you grieve for their mistakes, but you don't stop loving them. Because you can't."

 

"I want you to discover what that feels like for yourself, Ben. I want to see you be happy. I want grandchildren to spoil. I want you to live.

 

"No matter the cost, I want you to live."

 

Leia gathered her will, reached out into the Force, and prepared herself to do what she had done once before: give life to her son. She reached out and connected herself to Ben …

 

And the world _changed_.

 

...**...

 

 

"Hello, sweetheart."

 

She knew that voice. She had never expected to hear it again, but she had never forgotten it. It was different though … younger. Stronger.

 

"Han!"

 

He was there. Big as life. Young and cocky again. Looking much as he had the first time they met. "Good to see you again, Your Worshipfulness."

 

"How is this possible?" And Leia realized that her own voice sounded younger. She glanced down at her hands and saw they were free of the gloves of her life suit.

 

"You're outside your body now, Leia." Luke moved out of the shadows. He was also young, looking like the farm boy of old wielding his father's light saber once more. "We're all connected in the Force. Living or dead, in this place we are together."

 

They were all as they had been. Back when they were young and invincible. Before life had torn them apart, before tragedy and age had stolen so much hope from them.

 

Leia ran to Han and embraced him. It wasn't just some memory. She could _feel_ him. She could _smell_ him. This was the man she had wanted to spend her life with. "How did you do this, Luke? Where are we? Where's Ben?"

 

It was a desert filled with shadows under a blood red sky.

 

"We're inside Ben's mind," Luke told her gently. "The Dark Side does not let go easily. It's killing him. That's why he needs the Crystal. It's the only thing that I know that can cure him."

 

"Why are we here?" Han asked. "For that matter, how am I here? I'm not Force sensitive like you two. Did you bring me here, Luke?"

 

"No. I did."

 

The man was tall with a scarred face.

 

"Anakin," Leia whispered.

 

"Father," Luke added.

 

"Your … father? As in Darth Vader?"

 

"As in Anakin Skywalker," the tall man corrected. He waved the same light saber that Luke was currently carrying at Han. "It's probably just as well that you're already dead, Han Solo. You and I would have much to talk about otherwise."

 

"Yeah, well don't think I don't want to kick your evil ass too!" Han snarled back. "My son turned because of you! You helped Snoke tempt him! You lured him to the Dark Side!"

 

"I did no such thing." Anakin glared at him. "Snoke impersonated me. He fed Ben lies while wearing the image of my old face. Whenever Ben thought he was speaking to Darth Vader, he was speaking to Snoke."

 

"Then why didn't you tell him that- why didn't you tell Luke when there was a chance of preventing all this?! Do you know how much we all suffered? Don't you even care?!"

 

"I was prevented. Snoke- or the Force itself- prevented me from reaching Ben. I tried. Do you think I wanted this? That I wanted to see him suffer as I suffered? To kill as I killed? Do you think I wanted this burden on Ben's soul?" Anakin was breathing hard.

 

"Father." Luke laid a hand on the taller man's shoulder. "We can't waste time. Ben is barely hanging on. He needs us."

 

"Why are we here? What are we here for?" Han asked. He checked his blaster.

 

"The Dark is killing Ben," Luke said softly. "We can't save him, but we can help him hold on long enough for Rey to get the Crystal."

 

"Then what are we waiting for?" Another figure stepped out of the shadows. A young woman with a strong resemblance to Leia herself.

 

"Mother," Luke whispered, his eyes wide.

 

"Padme," Leia murmured. She did not hate her biological mother the way she had Darth Vader, but for her "mother" would always be Breha Organa.

 

Padme looked at Leia as though she sensed her thoughts. "I am glad that you had such good parents growing up, Leia." There was also a trace of sadness- the longing to have raised her children herself.

 

"Padme, I forbid you to come," Anakin said angrily.

 

"You _forbid_ me, Anakin?" Her eyes narrowed. "I was not aware that our marital vows said anything about my obeying every whim."

 

"Padme-"

 

"I have spoke with Ben. I was there when he tossed Darth Vader's helmet into the fires of Mustafar. Do any of you think that anything will prevent me from helping my grandson finish his journey?"

 

"Ben did that?" Han grinned. "I KNEW he had it in him."

 

Leia hugged her husband. She hadn't known that either. "Why didn't he tell me?"

 

Padme looked at her. "Would you have cared if he did?"

 

Leia flinched.

 

"I saw you, Leia. I saw your conversations with Ben on Mustafar. You had what I wanted more than anything else; your loved one _came back_ \- and all you could do was lecture him on the missed political opportunities."

 

"I wanted to bring _peace_ to the Galaxy," Leia protested.

 

"And that moment had passed,," Padme retorted. "Ben had made his choice. Right or wrong, he had come back to his family. You knew that. But instead of welcoming your son, you chose to criticize him."

 

"Padme-"

 

"Leia, I know you love your son. I know that you have always felt like you had to save the Galaxy- that you couldn't trust anyone else to do it as well as you. I felt the same way. But you know what? When I died, Bail and Mon Motha carried on and led the Rebellion to victory. It is noble and admirable to want to bring peace to the Galaxy- but it's not just on your head. Sometimes you take the small wins- and having Ben Solo back instead of Kylo Ren was one of them. If not for Rey-"

 

"Yes, if not for Rey. Don't you think I know that she was able to bring back in just a few days- something that Han and I weren't able to do?"

 

"So that's it." Padme smiled. "You're jealous."

 

"I am _not_ jealous of Rey."

 

"You kind of sound like you are, Leia," Han said hesitantly. "You know that Ben loves you, right?"

 

"I know. It's just … I- _we_ \- were his parents, Han. Why couldn't we have saved him? That's all I ever wanted; just to bring him back to the light."

 

"I wanted that too," Han admitted. "I wanted our son to come home." Han took Leia back into his arms. "But we couldn't do it. It doesn't mean that Rey loves him any more than we do- it just meant we weren't meant to bring him back. Ben had to be Kylo Ren to become the Ben Solo that he was meant to be."

 

"I was jealous too." Padme looked at her daughter. They looked more like sisters. "I was so certain that I could bring Anakin back to the Light. I died still believing there was good in him, but it was Luke who brought him back. Even in the peace of the Force, I felt a twinge of jealousy that Luke was able to do what I couldn't."

 

"Mother-" Luke began, sounding like the farm boy he had been rather than the Jedi he had become.

 

"No, Luke. You did nothing wrong. I am proud of you." Padme smiled crookedly. "But when you're accustomed to believing you can accomplish anything, it's humbling to realize you can't do _everything."_

 

Leia met her gaze levelly. "Now I begin to see why Father- Bail- said you were such a formidable presence in the Senate."

 

"I had my moments." Padme nodded her head. "I understand you did as well. But those are stories to be told another time. Right now the important thing is Ben." She looked at Anakin and Luke. "What are we supposed to do here?"

 

"That's simple," Han retorted. "We save my son."

 

"It won't be that simple. Ben has to save himself." Luke pointed his light saber into the distance. "Hes in the heart of this place."

 

"He's surrounded by manifestations of his guilt and self-loathing," Anakin added. "It saps your will, your ability to go on living. We have to break through that to reach Ben- and then we have to hold it at bay while Rey finds that Crystal."

 

"Will my blaster work?" Han asked.

 

"It's no more a real blaster than that's your real body," Anakin informed him. "But it will work. We can fight our way through them."

 

Leia found herself armed with a blaster herself. She had never felt comfortable with holding a light saber. "Then let's go."

 

"About kriffing time!" Han exclaimed. "I never thought I'd get a chance to speak to Ben again; nothing is going to stop me now. Nothing!" He ran forward, firing his blaster.

 

Padme and Leia were right behind him.

 

Luke and Anakin exchanged glances. "Shouldn't we have been in the lead, Father?"

 

Anakin shrugged. "I learned a long time ago not to expect your mother to remain on the sidelines, Luke. Let's go."

 

At first, the _things_ that stood between them and their goal were little more than barely shaped masses, lumps of clay and sand that lumbered forward with a kind of slow inevitability. The closer they got to Ben, the more defined, the more human, they became.

 

"They're not the spirits of people that Ben killed, are they?" Leia asked uncertainly as they paused momentarily. The others were spirits and in their natural element. Somehow, even here, she retained the bonds of mortality. She wasn't as fast, she wasn't as limitless. "They aren't his victims?"

 

"No," Luke said shortly. "They are simply Ben's punishment."

 

"The punishment he believes he deserves," Anakin whispered.

 

"There's so many," Han said, aghast. "I knew that he had bad things—but this..."

 

"He has done terrible things," Anakin told him. "He cannot simply walk away from the evil he has done, but if he is to survive he will have to learn to live with it. I couldn't. Not even for Luke."

 

When one of the _things_ was shot with a blaster or struck with a light saber, it collapsed into sand and clay.

 

"Sand," Anakin said disdainfully. "I hate sand."

 

"I know, darling. We've all heard the coarse and irritating speech." Padme fired her blaster into the mouth of one the _things_ causing it to explode.

 

Han and Leia fought side by side or back to back. They outpaced the others, fighting forward, ever forward towards their son. "I just wish Chewie were here. He didn't hurt Ben did he?"

 

"He shot him," Leia admitted. "But they worked things out. He was just happy to have Ben back."

 

"I'm glad. Leia?"

 

"Yes?"

 

"I hope when this is all over that you have plenty of time with our son. And I understand if you decide to … find comfort in someone else."

 

"No one will ever take your place, Han." Leia fired her blaster again at a _sand-thing_ that took a swipe at Han's back. "Where am I ever going to find a scruffy looking nerf-herder like you?"

 

"Who are you calling scruffy?" Han smirked.

 

It seemed to take forever. It seemed to take seconds. One moment they were fighting their way through dozens of _sand-things_ with light saber wounds, hundreds of _sand-things_ that had been horribly deformed by exposure to vacuum or blasted apart with ship cannons or proton torpedoes, thousands who had died so swiftly when the Starkiller fired that they looked almost alive … one moment they were sloughing through those horrors...

 

The next they were in the burning ruins of Luke's Jedi Academy.

 

Ben was lying on the ground surrounded by young men and women of various species. Each armed with a light saber.

 

"My padawans," Luke groaned.

 

And before the fallen Ben Solo was a tall figure in black, a dark creature in a mask.

 

_Kylo Ren._

 

"You deserve this, Solo," Kylo Ren intoned. "You failed your masters. Both the Light and the Dark. Your victims are beyond counting. Stop fighting your fate. Let go."

 

Ben glared at the nightmare before him. "No. I won't. Rey ..."

 

"You know you're not worthy of her. She is stronger without you. You bring death to everything you touch. Your children will kill her. At birth … or as they grow into monsters... they will kill her. And it will be all your fault!"

 

"You should have let us kill you," one of the dead Padawans said.

 

"You should have let Luke kill you. Think how much better the Galaxy would have been if you had just done the right thing in your life for once and _died!_ " This one was a woman.

 

"Ben!" Han cried. He rushes forward to his son, but he stopped when the dead padawans waved their light sabers in his direction. "This isn't real, Ben! These aren't ghosts! It's your guilt talking!"

 

"Don't you think he has the right to be guilty?" Kylo Ren looked at him and smirked. "He killed his father."

 

"And he regretted it! I saw that in his eyes before I fell!"

 

"Kylo Ren" removed his helmet. "I didn't."

 

He had the face of the aged Han Solo who had died. "It's time, Ben. These ghosts, this old woman, won't save you. It's time for you to pay! Get up!" He raised his blood red saber. "Get up so I can stab you through the heart like you did me! It's only fair."

 

Ben didn't seem to hear Han. Only the "aged Solo" seemed to have his attention. He sighed and tried to get to his feet.

 

"Ben!" Han cried. This time he didn't give a damn about the dead padawans. He tried to move forward, but some invisible wall forced him back. "Ben!"

 

"Aged Solo" raised Kylo Ren's sword.

 

"BEN!" Han screamed.

 

Leia took Han's hand. She pressed her hand against the invisible barrier that stood between them and their son. "Ben!" she cried. She hurled the thought through the Force: _Ben! Fight!_

 

Just before "Aged Solo's" light saber fell, Ben leaped back.

 

"Leia!" Luke cried. "You're still alive! You're Ben's mother! You have a bond with him that no one else has- not even Rey. Help him! You know how to help him!"

 

 _Ben, you have to fight,_ Leia told him.

 

The dead Padawans glared at her. They walked forward with drawn light sabers. The invisible barrier that kept Ben Solo's loved ones from him did not seem to hinder them at all.

 

"Can they hurt us?" Leia asked worriedly. She saw them out of the corner of her eye; the rest of her attention was focused on Ben who was still dodging "Aged Solo's" weapon.

 

"Not us," Padme said. "But they can drive us out of Ben's mind. But you-"

 

"Be careful, Leia!" Anakin took a position between Leia and the padawans. "You're still alive. If they reach you, you can die!"

 

"That won't happen." Luke took his place at Anakin's side. "We'll hold the line, Leia. You help, Ben"

 

"You heard then, your worshipfulness," Han said firing his blaster at the padawans. "Save our son!"

 

 _Ben,_ Leia sent. _You have to fight. You have to live. Rey can't afford to lose you now._ _ **I**_ _can't afford to lose you now._

 

Ben dodged again. He had no weapon. "Aged Solo" moved with a speed that belied his apparent age.

 

_I love you, Ben. I have always loved you. Even in the darkest moments- when I thought I had lost you forever- I never stopped loving you. Murder, bloodshed, death- that isn't_ _**all** _ _that you are. My son is so much_ _**more** _ _than that. It can't end this way, Ben. I won't let it! I won't!_

 

Leia slammed her fists against the invisible barrier that stood between her and her son. It felt like each blow broke something in her hands, but she did not stop. "Ben! Ben!"

 

She gathered the Force within her, around her fists, and _struck_ again.

 

And the barrier shattered like a pane of glass.

 

"Ben!" She screamed. "I love you!"

 

"I love you too, kid!" Han called out. "Now kick that ugly old man's ass so you can get back to your wife!"

 

For a moment, time stood still.

 

"Aged Solo" glared at them. Glared at Ben. He struggled as though he was held by some invisible bonds.

 

"You are loved, Ben," Luke told his nephew softly. "You have a family."

 

"We're a … complicated family," Padme added.

 

"We're a kriffing mess," Anakin admitted. "But we all still love you, Ben. You aren't alone. You've never been alone! And nothing Snoke ever told you- nothing your own self-hatred tells you- will ever change that. You're loved!"

 

"Ben!"

 

A light saber flew through the air.

 

Ben caught it by reflex and ignited the blade.

 

It was blue.

 

An aged Obi Wan Kenobi stepped forward out of the shadows. "There's too much of your grandfather's heart in you to fall into Darkness forever, young Solo." A smile tugged at the old man's lips. "It's time for you to finish this so you can go home."

 

Ben waved the blue light saber about. He took a defensive stance. The ghost of a smile touched his lips. He waved the fingers of his free hand at "Aged Solo." "All right, Kylo or Solo, or whatever you call yourself. Let's finish this- once and for all!"

 

And the battle within Ben Solo's soul began again.

 

 

 


	31. GREY

 

From the moment Ben had come to her on Mustafar- from the moment he had become Ben Solo once more- his mind had been a part of the background noise of her life. Even when they weren't speaking- even when they were light years apart- she could _feel_ him, his mind and the whisper of his love for her. It had become something dear to her.

 

Now …

 

Now the whisper had faded.

 

It wasn't gone- it had slowed. He was _fading_. She was _losing_ him.

 

She would have lost him already if not for Leia.

 

Leia was strong in the Force- she had not developed her power the way that Luke had, but she was powerful and fierce in her way. She was fighting for her son. Rey had no idea what she was facing; what sort of things were trying to steal Ben's life, but Leia had not given up.

 

She was the Princess. She was the General. She was the Woman Who Would Never Give up.

 

Rey wanted to thank her. She wanted to express her gratitude. She wanted to take back some of the things that she had said and thought since her marriage to Ben.

 

She had thought that Leia had long ago given up on Ben. That even his return to the Light had not been enough to move Leia. That the Iron Princess had a heart of stone.

 

Now she knew better.

 

When was all said and done, Leia loved the way she did everything else: with every ounce of her strength.

 

And it was costing her.

 

Rey could feel Leia growing weaker. She was giving everything she had to save her son, but she wasn't a young woman or a healthy one. If she didn't stop soon, she might join her son in death.

 

But still she fought.

 

Defeat was not in her vocabulary.

 

Watching her was almost worse than watching Ben for Rey.

 

This was the battle for her husband's life. Her _husband_. She couldn't become a widow when her marriage hadn't even lasted a _month_ yet. She couldn't lose Ben now.

 

Not when they had so much to live for.

 

But she couldn't do _anything._ Not now. Not yet. Leia had to keep Ben alive. She was the one who would have to save his life.

 

Chewie knew little about Mimban other than it had once been an Imperial mining planet with a native population that had suffered a devastating loss in both population and culture when the Empire took it over. Leia was too busy trying to save Ben so she was of no help.

 

The _Falcon's_ data banks told her that the mines had been shut down and the fledgling New Republic had done what it could to restore the planet's ecology and to render what aid they could to the population. Mimban was too far from the current conflict to be used by the First Order, so Rey had hope they could find this Temple of Pomojema, retrieve the Kaiburr Crystal, and heal Ben without a fight.

 

She was hopeful, but not optimistic.

 

Nothing in her life had ever been easy.

 

..**..

 

 

They were able to land on Mimban without having to fight their way through First Order TIE Fighters, so that was something. Before she had become too involved in saving Ben, Leia had given Chewie the coordinates for the Temple as best she could remember. The scanners could pick up the metal of the fast deteriorating Imperial Mining Towns, but of course stone temples were another matter.

 

 

If they had to search through that undergrowth, it would take years to find the Temple.

 

Fortunately, they didn't have to.

 

The map.

 

The map that Luke had left at Ben Kenobi's abandoned Tatooine home. Had Luke known somehow- seen in the Force- that someday that the Kaiburr Crystal would be needed to save the life of someone he loved? Had it been a whim?

 

With that old man, it could be _anything_.

 

Rey took the hole-emitter out of her pocket and activated it:

 

The image of the Pomojema Temple appeared in miniature in mid-air. Planetary coordinates were listed as well. "Chewie ..."

 

_"I see it."_ The _Falcon_ changed course.

 

At first Rey was afraid they would not be able to find a place to land, but there seemed to be a burnt out area just in front of the Temple.

 

How long ago had Luke brought the Crystal here? He hadn't let Ahch-To in years. Surely this would have grown back by now … and it seemed uncharacteristic of Luke to cause that kind of damage just for his own convenience.

 

_"I should go with you,"_ Chewie growled. _"I don't trust this."_

 

"No," Rey whispered, feeling a terrible sense of foreboding. "If there is someone or something out there, you're the only one who can protect Ben and Leia."

 

Chewbacca looked unhappy, but he nodded his head.

 

Rey wanted to go back and check on Ben. She wanted to kiss him goodbye- but she could not afford to waste the time. Every moment she wasted was one less more that Leia had to fight for Ben.

 

_I just have to go into the Temple and get the Crystal. That's all there is to it. It's easy._

 

But she knew that it wouldn't be. Nothing was ever easy- not for them.

 

Resolutely, she gripped her light saber. "If I'm not back in half an hour ..."

 

_"I'll come for you."_

 

"You don't have to do that, Chewie-"

 

_"You're family."_

 

Rey choked back tears. She had a family. Not just Ben- not even Finn or Leia. She had _Chewie_ too. When she thought about it, she had had Chewie before anyone else- even Ben. "Thank you." She gave him a quick hug and then headed towards the Temple.

 

There were two burial cairns in front of the Temple. On each cairn was a single name that had been carved into them by a light saber. One said "HIN" and the other said "KEE".

 

_I'll have to ask Leia about that story someday,_ Rey thought. She felt a curious desire to raise her light saber in salute to the two cairns and then walked into the Temple.

 

Time and vegetation had worked on the great stone building. Through several openings, vines and other jungle growth had crept into the Temple. There were carved stone pillars that supported the room, and on the wall opposite from the entrance was a giant carved statue. The creature was vaguely humanoid in shape, with great carved wings and clawed hands and feet. Instead of a mouth, it had a face full of tentacles.

 

"Pomojema," Rey whispered to herself.

 

There was a strange gemstone resting in a hollow on its chest. It was a reddish stone, and pulsed with a faint light.

 

The Kaiburr Crystal.

 

She had come for that stone. If Leia was right- if Luke was right- that rock could save Ben's life.

 

She just had to pluck the stone out of the statue. She reached out with the Force …

 

The stone didn't move.

 

It seemed immune to her attempt to manipulate it with the Force.

 

Rey gritted her teeth in frustration. She had descended into darkness and climbed virtual mountains of wreckage simply to earn her daily bread. This would not stop her, but it was annoying. She cautiously walked towards the statue.

 

And only the slightest whisper of the Force caused her to turn her light saber in time to deflect a bolt of Darkside Lightning.

 

"Can you feel it, Jedi?" Sheeva asked. She was still clad in black, armed with metallic hands in place of the ones she had lost on Mustafar. Her copper eyes seemed to shine in the darkness as did her fiery red hair. "The power of that stone. Without even touching it, I can feel myself growing stronger. Imagine what I will accomplish once I have it in my hands."

 

Rey resisted the urge to attack the Knight of Ren. The Kaiburr Crystal would go weaker once it was removed from the Temple. If Rey didn't need it to save Ben, she would have been happy to let Sheeva take the damn thing. "I'll let you have the stone if you let me use it first. I need it to heal … someone."

 

Sheeva waved her magenta light saber idly in the air. "Kylo Ren you mean … or Ben Solo as he prefers to call himself now. He was great once. He saved us all from his murderous uncle- he led us to power... and then he turned on us for _you._ He killed us for _you._ "

 

"Ben didn't kill all the Knights. I took out a few myself." Rey ignited her own white bladed light saber taking pleasure in seeing Sheeva's eyes widen. "Yes, I have a weapon of my own again, Sheeva. He would have left you alone- but _you_ sought him out. You wanted to take his power. You wanted to be the new Master of the Knights of Ren. And what did it gain you? What is a leader without follower, Master Knight? _Nothing._ "

 

"You would know, scavenger." The two of them circled each other.

 

"Did you really want Ben?" Rey asked her enemy. She knew that Ben had never been with Sheeva; she would have sensed that in his mind. But she had to know …

 

"No. I never wanted _Ben_. _Kylo_ … was the strongest of them … after me. If there was anyone who would have been a fitting consort for me, it would have been him. But you _ruined_ him! You killed Kylo Ren. I will kill Ben Solo." It was such an ugly smile on such a lovely face. "And all I have to do is prevent you from taking that stone."

 

"It doesn't have to be this way. You still have a choice." Rey gripped her light saber loosely. Being tense would not help her here. "You can walk away. We can make peace."

 

"Never." Sheeva raised her hand and lightning erupted from her fingertips. "There is no peace. Peace is a lie. There is only passion."

 

"There _is_ passion," Rey agreed as she deflected the lightning again. "But there's not _only_ passion. Ben learned to see that again. Why can't you?"

 

"Through passion I gain strength." Sheeva launched a devastating attack with her light saber. She was a whirlwind of fury.

 

Rey gave ground. She had to. Not even the Praetorian Guards had forced her back so far. "There are other kinds of strength, Sheeva. You were a Jedi once. You should know that."

 

"I was _never_ a Jedi! I went because I had no choice! I needed a teacher- Skywalker was the only one I could find. I always knew my destiny was with the Dark Side! It's in my blood! Through strength I gain power!"

 

"What good is power if you only use it to destroy?" Rey didn't have time to fight this woman. "Sheeva, please. Don't make me do this."

 

"Through power I gain victory!" Sheeva drove her back again.

 

"Victory over what? What do you want, Sheeva? What is worth risking your life over? You don't know me. How can you hate me so much that you want me dead?"

 

"Through victory my chains are broken!" Sheeva struck fiercely with a blow that would have decapitated Rey if it had connected.

 

"The only chains you wear are of your own making." Rey gave back again.

 

"The Force shall free me!"

 

"It would if you would let it." Rey sighed. "Sheeva, please. Don't do this. Don't go this way."

 

"You think you can turn _me?_ You think your soft words will sway me? I am Sheeva Ren! Last of the Knights of Ren! I will not falter! I will not deny my true self!" Once more she attacked.

 

This time Rey did not back down.

 

"I''m not here to save your soul, Sheeva." Now it was time to launch her own attack, letting the Force guide her. She was not drawing on the Force; she was listening to it. "I'm here to save Ben's."

 

Sheeva tried to attack, but Rey parried her efforts and pressed her own. There was no compassion on the young Jedi's face. No anger. It was impassive as she let the Force guide her.

 

A part of her- the lonely abandoned little girl from Jakku- _wanted_ Sheeva to turn. She knew what it felt like to lose the people you cared about (or at least the people you had). Just days ago, Sheeva had known her place in the Galaxy; she had a purpose, she had allies. Now … now that was all gone.

 

She was the Last Knight.

 

And live or die, Sheeva would _remain_ a Knight of Ren.

 

She was older, bigger, than Rey. Rey had known about the Force, about her abilities for such a short time compared to Sheeva. It should have been an easy victory for the Knight of Ren.

 

But Rey had been fighting for her life since earliest childhood. Something in her had never been willing to give up. Something had kept on fighting even when dying would have been so easy. Rey was a fighter.

 

And she always fought the hardest when she had something to protect.

 

But her passion did not override her reason this time. Unlike her first battle with Kylo Ren- when she had been filled with hate and anger, grief and fear, Rey was at peace with herself. This had to be done. It would be done. But she did not hate Sheeva.

 

She would not let herself hate Sheeva.

 

..**..

 

 

"Aged Solo" advanced on Ben with his blazing red light saber. "You really think you can be forgiven? You really think that you deserve redemption? That sooner or later Rey won't turn from you in horror and loathing when she encounters yet another of your victims … sees a world you helped devastate, a village you murdered? You really think you _deserve_ to live?"

 

 

"No. I am the monster you make me out to be. I have done terrible things. Unforgivable things."

 

"Ben!" Leia cried out desperately while the rest of their family fought to protect him.

 

Ben smiled in her direction. "But I can be better. I can _do_ better. I'm not worthy of Rey's love. I don't deserve forgiveness. But I can keep _trying_! You can't take that away from me!"

 

"You monster!" And now "Aged Solo" was gone. Replaced by Rey herself as she was on Starkiller- frightened but furious, the avenger of Han Solo and the defender of Finn. The girl he'd heard so much about.

 

Ben smirked. "That's the face you can't wear. Rey will _never_ be part of the Dark."

 

"And how about this one, my young apprentice?" And Rey was gone … and it was scarred and burnt face of Snoke that glared back at him.

 

Snoke who had had been his secret confidant, his only companion when he had been left alone all too often … and the one who had turned him to the Dark Side and filled him with torment and loathing. Made him … or at least helped him become … the monster that Rey had met.

 

A part of Ben wanted to panic … wanted to yield …

 

Fear and obedience to Snoke had been burnt into his soul for so very long …

 

Ben felt himself starting to kneel ...

 

"Not this time!" Han Solo screamed. "You can't have my son- not again!"

 

"Go to him, Han!" Leia cried out. "He needs his father- he's always needed his father!" And she held out her hand. "I'll hold open the door for you. Go!"

 

And Han was suddenly past the barrier that kept him from his boy … past the barriers that both of them had built up over a lifetime of pain and suffering, guilt and regret. For the first time in years, Han no doubt in his mind about how to help his son.

 

"Ben!"

 

His son had been haunted by demons that Han could not see. His son had been tormented by a monster that had no face. He had wanted to save his son, but he had not known how. He had thought his son fell because he had too much of Darth Vader in him.

 

Now … now he knew.

 

Ben hadn't fallen; he had been _pushed_.

 

And all the rage of his father's heart, all his burning love for his son, all the guilt over how he had failed Ben again and again without even knowing it- all these _feelings_ that he had always kept inside because it wasn't his nature to display his heart openly- all that _power_ filled Han Solo with the strength of a young man, with the fury of a dozen Wookies- and he _hit_ the Snoke-thing like a blast from the Deathstar.

 

"Not this time!" He punched. He kicked. He hit. "I won't let you have him- not again! No matter what it takes- no matter what it costs- I _won't_ fail my son again!"

 

Han Solo wasn't a Jedi Knight. He had never been afraid to feel, to love. The Dark's whispers of power and fear had no power over him. Fear had made him fail his son once before; it would not do so again. There was no power he desired other than the power to save his son.

 

It was not his violence that pushed the Dark back, that diminished it. It was not the strength of his blows or the curses that escaped his lips. You could not assault the Dark.

 

It was his _defiance._

 

It was his _love._

 

It was Ben Solo watching his father protect him the way a terrified boy had needed so long ago. It was seeing his father protect him. It was seeing his father _love_ him.

 

Ben Solo rose to his feet. He stood beside his father.

 

The Dark no longer wore Snoke's face. It was now Kylo Ren once more. "You will never be rid of me, Ben Solo. You can't cast me out. You can't destroy me. I'm always going to be here. I'm always going to be a part of you."

 

"I know."

 

The Dark glared at him.

 

"But I'm okay with that. I tried to be a Jedi. I tried to be like Luke. I wasn't meant to be. I wanted to be like Darth Vader- I thought that was my place in this. But it wasn't. I'm just me- I'm Ben Solo. Not a villain or a hero. Just a man who's made horrible mistakes- but I've got the rest of my life to make up for them."

 

"You never can. You never will."

 

"Probably not. But I can try."

 

The Dark shimmered and vanished.

 

"You did it, Ben!" Han smiled at his son. "You beat it."

 

"No we did. All of us."

 

And Ben turned and gazed at his family.

 

Anakin and Padme. Luke and Leia. His father Han Solo.

 

And behind them all- on the high ground, of course- Obi-Wan Kenobi.

 

They were all his family- even Obi-Wan.

 

The shield collapsed. The burning Academy and the lost Padawans all faded away. In the end, it was just Ben and his family.

 

"You did good, kid. Take my advice- tell Rey that you love her. Each and every day of your lives. Never let her forget it. Never let her doubt it." And Han Solo flashed a cocky grin. "And make sure your kids never forget about how I made the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs."

 

"I won't, Dad. Thank you. I love you."

 

"I know." Han hugged him tightly. "I love you too, Ben. I always will. Give 'em hell, kid."

 

And Han faded away.

 

Padme came to him next. His grandmother kissed his cheek. "You're so tall."

 

"It seems to run in the family." Ben smirked at his uncle and mother. "Maybe it just skips a generation."

 

"I'm proud of you, Ben."

 

"Thank you, Grandmother."

 

"Love the girl. Love your children. And be the man you _deserve_ to be."

 

"I'll try."

 

She kissed him one more time and faded away.

 

Anakin was next.

 

"I expected you to be taller," Ben said.

 

"I expected you to be blonder."

 

They stared at each other.

 

"I'm sorry, Grandfather."

 

"I know, Ben. Believe me, I know." Anakin laid his hands on his grandson's shoulders. "I tried to come to you, but something prevented it. I didn't want this for you. I would have stopped it if I could have. You mattered to me, Ben. Never doubt that."

 

"I know."

 

"But I do want you to finish what I started, Ben. The conflict. The endless strife between Light and Dark. The Force needs to be balanced. The Force _wants_ to be balanced. That is your task. Yours and Rey's. Find a way to bring that balance. Find a way to make sure the Galaxy never needs a Chosen One ever again."

 

"I'll try."

 

"Do or do not-"

 

"There is no try."

 

And for a moment, the smile on each of their faces was identical.

 

"Love her, Ben. Love her, and pray that you don't outlive her. But if you do … let her go without changing who you are. There are prices we cannot pay- even for love."

 

"I understand, Grandfather."

 

Anakin did not smile again- there was too much weight on his soul for much levity- and then he too faded away.

 

Finally it was Luke.

 

"Hello, Ben."

 

"Uncle Luke."

 

"Ben-"

 

"Rey was wrong. You didn't create Kylo Ren. That was Snoke- and me. If it hadn't been you- if it hadn't been that night- it would have been something else. I wasn't strong enough to fight him off forever. Not then. You aren't to blame for my crimes."

 

"I know, Ben." Luke gave him a crooked smile. "But I'm not responsible for your salvation either. You did that."

 

"Rey helped."

 

"She did indeed."

 

"The Jedi-"

 

"The Jedi as they were- as I tried to make them- ended with me, Ben. That doesn't mean they can't come again. The two of you can make something new. Something better."

 

"We will, Uncle Luke. I promise."

 

"Just don't forget to make time for yourselves. Don't be legends. Be people. Be the people who make a difference."

 

"Yes, Uncle Luke."

 

"Goodbye, Ben. I'll see you again. We all will."

 

And just like that, the Jedi Master was gone.

 

And finally the last living member of his family- except for Chewbacca- came to him.

 

"Ben."

 

"Mother. You saved me. Thank you."

 

"It's what family does, son." Leia opened his arms. "I love you, Ben."

 

"I love you too, Mother."

 

And they held each other.

 

..**..

 

Sheeva gasped and stared down at the light saber buried in her chest.

 

"I'm sorry," Rey murmured. And she was.

 

Sheeva fell to her knees. She dropped her light saber from her hands. She looked up at Rey, trying to muster up something- hatred, or a curse perhaps.

 

"Scavenger." She could barely breath, but Sheeva forced the words out.

 

"Yes?"

 

"Put an end to this. The deaths. The hatred. It's enough. No more. Let me be the last one to die in this war between Light and Dark."

 

"That's the thing, Sheeva." Rey gently lowered the woman to the ground. "It was never a war. That's not what the Force wanted. Maybe now we can all start listening. Maybe now we can stop the killing."

 

"Maybe you can. My time has come." Sheeva sighed- and died.

 

Rey closed Sheeva's eyes and then stood up. She was exhausted, trembling, but she still needed the Crystal. She stumbled towards the statue.

 

"Rey..."

 

Ben shambled towards her, half-supported, half-carried, by his mother.

 

"Ben!"

 

They did not run- neither of them could run. Not now. But they met in the middle.

 

Ben took one of Rey's hands. He raised the other towards the Kaiburr Crystal. "No more Dark."

 

Rey kissed him. She copied his gesture. "No more Light."

 

The Crystal floated out of the statue and into their hands. It began to glow brighter, ever brighter.

 

And the two of them said one more word, and they said it together.

 

"Balance."

 

And the Light and the Dark- and the Grey between- healed them both.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a long strange trip this has been. A one shot that turned into something far different than I expected. FYI: Hin and Kee were the two Yuzzem- Wookie-like aliens- who helped Luke and Leia find the Kaiburr Crystal in the Splinter of the Mind's Eye novel. They died. The cairns were my tip of the hat to the first original Star Wars novel ever written.


	32. Five Years Later

Five years later ...

 

Leia Organa Solo- former Princess, one time Senator, and a General of more than one rebellion- smiled as she thought of the latest title that she had picked up:

 

"Grandma!"

 

Leia spun her speeder chair about and held out her arms as her twin grandchildren leapt into her lap. "Jacen! Jaina! What a surprise!"

 

"You knew we were coming," Jacen said with a narrowing of his eyes that reminded Leia of his father.

 

"I felt you through the Force," Leia admitted. "Wherever you are- wherever you go- I will always be able to feel you in my heart."

 

"I love you, Grandma," Jaina said simply. She was currently sporting the three bun hairstyle that her mother had once favored. The black vest that she wore was all Solo.

 

"Why I love you too, sweetheart," Leia smiled. "I always will."

 

Leia knew that her time was coming to an end. She had outlived everyone from her Rebellion days but Chewie- Lando had passed a few years ago. They had never become as close as Lando might have wished, but she had been fond of him. It had been sad losing him, but she knew that she would be joining Han and the rest of her family before Ben and Rey's latest child turned a year old. Technology and the Force had done all that could be done for her; it was just her time.

 

In truth, she was ready.

 

The First Order had not been completely defeated, but it had been driven back. With the Battledroid army, with Ben's knowledge of First Order operations and Finn's information on the Stormtrooper program, the Resistance had been able to do enough damage to the First Order that the fractured worlds of the New Republic had found the will to join together and fight back. Now the Third Republic was growing in strength with each passing day, and the First Order was being driven back to the Outer Rim Territories. It would take time, but Leia was confident that peace would happen before her grandchildren grew to adulthood. She had to content herself with that; she knew that she would not be there to see the end.

 

She was tired. It was time to let others fight on without her.

 

Ben and Rey had established a Force Academy- not a Jedi Academy; and certainly not a Sith one. They wanted to prevent the mistakes of the past; to foster Balance rather than division in the Force. Perhaps they would fail, but at least they were trying something new. Perhaps if they could convince one child that an inclination towards the Dark Side did not mean they were destined for evil that would be enough.

 

That was not the only challenge the two young Force sensitives had set for themselves.

 

Her son's family had settled on Naboo, buying an estate that had been owned by Padme Naberrie. It was large, with plenty of rooms- and that was a good thing.

 

Anakin had been right; they did need a large house.

 

There were their twins Jacen and Jaina, of course. Both of them were strong in the Force— and as different as night and day. Brilliant and strong willed, they were the apple of their grandmother's eye.

 

They had also adopted children.

 

Rey, the abandoned girl, and Ben, the boy who had always been alone, had opened their hearts and home to so many children that had been orphaned by war, fate, or indifferent parents. Not just Force sensitive children; not just human children. Leia now counted a Wookie, a Togruta, and even a Hutt as part of her family.

 

"Jacen, Jaina, can you ask your brothers and sisters to join us? I want to tell the Story again before dinnertime."

 

Jacen's eyes lit up. He loved listening to the story of his family. "Right away, grandmother."

 

Hand in hand, the two twins ran off together.

 

Leia glanced at the window of Ben and Rey's bedroom. She could feel the Force rippling. "Quit arguing, you two. You're giving me a headache."

 

..**..

 

 

"I thought we didn't want to name any of our children after anyone," Ben said angrily. He hated being angry; it reminded him too much of his time as Kylo Ren. "I don't want any of them to have to feel like they have to live up to someone's legacy."

 

"I know, Ben," Rey said patiently, fighting back her own urge to snap at him. She held her baby daughter in her arms. She didn't point out that simply being heirs to the Skywalker family would set impossible expectations on their children.

 

"And that name- why her? Why would you want to name our daughter after _Sheeva?_ She tried to kill us both."

 

"I know, Ben, but you weren't there at the end." Rey closed her eyes and thought of the dying Knight of Ren. "Sheeva knew. At the end, she knew that the war between Dark and Light had to end. She told me to make sure that she was the last one to die in that war. I can't help feeling that if she had lived, she would have seen the wisdom of what we were doing. That we could have saved her."

 

"You can't save everyone, Rey." Ben touched his wife's face. "But I love you for trying." He sighed. "What will you tell her when she asks about her name?"

 

Rey kissed her baby. "I'll tell her that she was named for a woman who wanted a terrible waste of life to end. That she was named after a woman who wanted war to end."

 

"It's not a name I would want to remember," Ben said with a sigh. "But I won't fight you on this any more."

 

"That's good." Rey sat the baby back in her crib. "Now come here, Ben Solo."

 

"It's almost dinner time. Remember, we have a small army to feed."

 

Rey smiled. "You will come to me."

 

Ben smiled. "I will?"

 

"You will. You can fight it every step of the way. Drag your feet. Hold onto the stars until they're ripped apart, but sooner or later you'll be where you belong." Rey held out her arms. "In my arms."

 

"I think I can live with that." Ben slipped into her arms and kissed her.

 

..**..

 

Outside, Leia smiled. _And maybe there'll be another little one on the way soon …_ She looked at the children who gathered around her chair. "Are we ready?"

 

"Yes, Grandmother," Jaina said. She sat cross-legged in front of Leia, her eyes bright and eager.

 

Jacen stood beside her chair, holding one of Leia's hands. She suspected the boy knew that her time was coming. She squeezed his hand reassuringly.

 

This was not the night they would lose her.

 

The other children- human and other- nodded and looked at her with rapt attention. They were all so young … young and full of the hope that Leia's family and friends had brought for them. She fervently hoped they would never lose it.

 

Leia cleared her throat. She looked at her family. "I love you all."

 

Perhaps if she had said those words to Ben more frequently … But no. The past could not be changed; only lived with. She closed her eyes and began to speak.

 

"It began a long long time ago ..."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap. For those who don't know, Jacen and Jaina were the names given to Han and Leia's first children in the EU novels. I didn't want Ben and Rey's kids named after someone else in the canon- because frankly EVERYONE does that- but I did want to make a tip of the hat to the EU. For those who made it all the way through, thanks for reading!


End file.
